The (Not So) Real Gay Hollywood

Feature, By Christian Taylor, 9th January, 2008

This week trash mag Famous have done their best to cash in on the scandalousness of being gay by producing their “Real Hollywood Gay List”. Splashed all over the front cover is every old news story and gay cliché under the sun, wheeled out, repackaged and sensationalised for the straight masses to devour. It begs the question – why does stuff like this sell magazines? And what kind of message does it send?

Famous’ list purports to uncover the so called truth about gays in Hollywood, like they’re all cowering under rocks. What is actually presented is a rehashed, overcooked, defamatory yawnfest, which can essentially be broken up into three categories – ‘Der, everybody already knew that’, ‘we’re grasping at straws here’ and ‘this has got to be a total fabrication in order to boost a celebrity’s career.’

Lets start with the ‘Der, everybody already knew that’ category. Grey’s Anatomy’s TR Knight is here, as is Jodie Foster, The Gossip’s Beth Ditto, Neil Patrick Harris (a.k.a. Doogie Howser) and Portia De Rossi. Could things be any more unsurprising? These people have all came out in one form or another and have since gotten on with their lives. Do they really deserve to be added to such a list?

The ‘Grasping at straws’ group is nothing short of hilarious. High School Musical’s Zac Efron is accused of being gay because he is guilty of having worn ponytails and make up on occasion. Talk about trotting out the tired old stereotypes. Meanwhile, Jessica Biel might be dating Justin Timberlake, but she’s been added to the list because she “isn’t shy when it comes to showing affection for her gal pals”. Right. Oh yeah, and one of her female friends pinched her on the bum and paparazzi got a photo of it. Yep, that’s enough proof for me.

As the saying goes, just because you go to a bah mitzvah, that doesn’t make you Jewish. Although according to Famous, it does. Criminal Minds’ Shemar Moore swam nude at a gay beach and that was enough to get him on the list. “As far as I know it was a unisex beach,” he said. “I’m not gay, I love women!” Apparently Shemar, you don’t.

Jake Gyllenhaal is also on the list for going to a basketball game with a male friend, for starring in a gay film and for having two gay godfathers. Christina Applegate married a female best friend in a Vegas club one night to make a statement about the strength of female bonds and that was enough to get her on the list too, even though she’s also described herself as “one of the most heterosexual women who ever lived.”

Then there are the ‘Career gays’ – those who seem to dabble in return for column inches. Britney Spears is one such case. Famous allege that she has had lesbian orgies with up to 20 girls. Sounds a little far fetched, but then again, it is Britney afterall.

Lindsay Lohan is another one. She makes out with one girl in a nightclub and suddenly she’s gay. It must be hard to tell someone’s gender when you’re always so smashed. Famous also calls the 21 year old a ‘sex addict’. Then again, who isn’t a sex addict at 21?

“Where ever a celeb goes, a gay rumour follows!” says Famous and this edition of the rag is living proof. Twenty years ago celebrities would have been running scared from such a list. Gay rumours were definitely not in vogue. Richard Gere and Cindy Crawford are a great example – when they got tired of the gay rumours they took out a full page ad in the London Times to declare their heterosexuality. Ironically, this only made them look gayer.

Of course, all of that has changed – artists like Madonna, t.A.T.u, Pink and Robbie Williams have all furthered their careers by flaunting blurred sexuality lines – and so it continues.

All too often the mainstream media’s portrayal of us is damaging – we’re negatively stereotyped, depicted unrealistically or not represented at all. Thankfully, because of growing visibility, stronger gay media and organisations like GLAAD (Gay And Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation), this is slowly changing. GLAAD has had a huge impact on how we’re seen as a collective by the rest of society.

“Think back to a time when the words ‘gay’ and ‘lesbian’ were taboo in the media – a time when your newspaper featured blatantly homophobic stories on the front page and the entertainment industry didn’t give a second thought to producing images of lesbians and gays on television that pandered to the worst anti-gay stereotypes. It’s not as long ago as you might think,” say the folk from GLAAD. “Less than 20 years ago, before the formation of GLAAD, representations of lesbians and gay men tended to fall into one of two categories: defamatory or non-existent.”

GLAAD came about in 1985 because the community was tired of the New York Post’s grossly defamatory and sensationalised AIDS coverage. They then spread to the other side of the country and worked on educating Hollywood’s entertainment industry on the importance of more accurate and realistic portrayals on the screen. Each year they monitor and publicly announce the results of how our community is being represented in the media.

The value of positive gay news stories can’t be discounted – they help to counter balance sensationalised, anti-climactic lists like these.

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