SameSame.com.au ~ Inside Out Australia

For some, same-sex marriage is not a matter of if, but when. In the wake of a national day of action for marriage equality that saw rallies in most major cities, we look at where this hot debate is headed and when same-sex couples in Australia might expect to be legally wed. The Same Same Gay Census results are in, so who really wants to be the bride?

Chants rang out from Sydney’s rally on Saturday as the crowd, some clad in wedding garb, snaked their way through the city and on to Darling Harbour. Kevin Rudd and other delegates from his party were the intended audience, but families picnicking in Tumbalong Park and those caught in the city’s police road blocks watched on. Similar scenes played out in Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth, Adelaide, Hobart, Canberra and Lismore.

Forty years on from the Stonewall Riots it is obvious gay rights have come a long way, but some would say that same-sex marriage is the elusive icing on the equal rights cake. Some also believe validating gay relationships by allowing marriage will have a carry-on effect – decreasing the homophobia that remains, and leading to other rights, like child adoption.

According to Same Same’s gay census, 42% of gay males and 50% of lesbians would ‘definitely’ tie the knot if the option were available. Add to that the 39% and 35% of gay males and lesbians that would ‘consider getting married at some point’ and around 80% of the community are keen to make their love legally official. While some conservative elements of the Australian community argue allowing same-sex marriage is pandering to a minority (a minority estimated at roughly 2% by the most recent Australian government census, and still growing), a recent Galaxy opinion poll on the issue has attracted widespread media coverage, largely because it says 60%, or a majority of all Australians concur: same-sex marriage is okay, what’s the big deal?

Watching on as the chants continued and couples were illegally married outside the Sydney Convention Centre by Reverend Karl Hand from Metropolitan Community Church, 56 year-old UK resident Irene says she’s married to her husband, “obviously,” showing off her wedding band, and she “can’t see why [same-sex couples] can’t get married. They’re not hurting me, are they?” Smiling, Irene says the UK has had same-sex marriage for “five or six years or so. No one’s got a problem with it – especially after Elton John did it!” she says laughing.

While the Rudd government has fulfilled election promises of affording same-sex couples more rights and recognition, gay census results indicate marriage is considered one of the final legal frontiers for equality. 43% of gay males and 60% of lesbians said that a ‘civil union is not good enough’ and that they want gay marriage legalised. And while the Rudd government has made more advances than its predecessors, especially following the 2007 Australian Human Rights Commission’s ‘Same-Sex: Same Entitlements Inquiry’ which lead to changes in 84 Commonwealth laws, it seems the Labor government disagrees with gay and lesbian Australians on the importance of marriage to the community.

Following Labor’s national policy-making conference this weekend, and despite support for same-sex marriage from Tasmanian Labor and senior ministers such as Anthony Albanese and Louise Pratt, the result of the party’s discussion was a nation-wide relationships register – not marriage. Defined by the very fact that it does not ‘mimic’ marriage, the register is considered by many groups to be a very small step, albeit in the right direction.

The weekend’s rallies were not the first on the issue, and in light of Labor’s decision to remain opposed to the idea, organisers say it won’t be the last. Tom Wright, organiser of Melbourne’s rally and co-convenor of Equal Love, said in a statement, “Although the decision of the ALP delegates was disappointing, I think politicians from all sides now understand that this is not an issue that’s going to go away. Marriage equality is rapidly spreading throughout the world and we’re going to be back here year after year until we get it in Australia.”

So how long do we expect to wait for the government to give-in to what same-sex marriage advocates are calling a ground-swell of support? According to the Same Same gay census, most gay Australians are optimistic about the outlook, believing that same-sex marriage will be a legal reality in ‘more than two years, but less than 10.’ And it appears some don’t even want to wait that long. “We’ve been together 19 years. We went over to Canada two years ago and we got legally married in Vancouver and we’re hoping that one day our marriage will be legally recognised here in Australia,” says Andrew with his partner Bill at Sydney’s rally on Saturday. “We don’t want our children to be bastards!” laughs Bill, “we’ve got three kids.” Andrew adds, “Marriage is a commitment of love and longevity…we’re in it for the long haul.”

But it might take a leadership row before any change to the Marriage Act occurs, according to Wayne Morgan, a senior lecturer at the Australian National University’s College of Law. “We certainly won’t get [same-sex marriage] while Rudd is PM,” says Morgan. “So much has to do with the personalities in power at the time… if the decision was made on rationality, same-sex marriage would be a reality now.” Wayne Morgan says that while he’s not as pessimistic as some, he believes it will be less than 20 years before same-sex marriage is in, but we may have to wait until Deputy Prime Minister Julia Gillard takes the reins. “Rudd is convinced Labor won the election off swinging ‘Hillsong voters’. He believes that if he did anything positive for the gay community, he would lose that… It also has a lot to do with [Rudd’s] personal social conservatism.”

So all indicators point to marriage at some stage soon, but will gay Australians be ‘mimicking’ the lavish ceremonies of others? Apparently not. 74% of gay men and 78% of lesbians in the Same Same Gay Census said that if gay marriage were legal, they would want the whole affair to be quite ‘low key’ with close family and friends. So, Mr Rudd, maybe it is more about love than pomp and ceremony? “It really depends on your stance,” says Angela Dwyer from Queensland University of Technology’s School of Justice, “for some people it’s just about wanting to be ‘normal’.” According to Angela, marriage doesn’t mean a whole lot to some people, but they’re fighting for it because it’s a basic human right. “QUT has done some interesting studies and while a lot of people know marriage is a heterosexual right of passage and don’t want to be married…in Western culture, marriage is a big thing and it’s about having that basic human right across the board.”

In addition to the push for gay marriage, Wayne Morgan from ANU also cites anti-discrimination laws that need to be tackled, transgender issues and the “appalling” level of violence the gay community experiences when compared to other sectors of the community. “If most people thought about it, marriage would actually be very low down the list of important things for us to challenge. [Marriage] is very important to middle class people who want to look and act just like straight people,” says Morgan.

Other stories in the Gay Census series:
News Announcement.
Let’s Talk About Sex.
What’s Your Poison?
Babies.