SameSame.com.au ~ Inside Out Australia

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of plummeting down a ski-slope with absolutely no hope of stopping except in a violent shower of white snow and screaming children, or a smattering of applause which may or may not be bones breaking into little pieces. I see the end, you think, and it’s right there. In that woman’s ass.

Maybe, like me, you’re still recovering from the indignity of dropping a ski pole from the chair lift, a momentary lapse of co-ordination which results in a hair-raising ass-shuffle down the mountainside as a man yells ‘That’s not how you ski!’ Actually, yes, it is how I ski. And since this is Gay Ski Week NZ, I can ski however I want.

The world is no stranger to gay skiing. Aspen Gay Ski Week has been rocking the slopes since 1977, a pilgrimage for North American gays who like to get their kit on. Although sexual persuasion is somewhat camouflaged by gore-tex (even the designer variety), the event has spawned over 16 similar ones around the world and a hundreds-strong club called Ski Bums with an annual social calendar to envy.

In our corner of the world, Gay Ski Week NZ grows by the year. Last September saw over 700 people descending on the South Island ski resort of Queenstown to rally around something other than an individual’s abdominal muscles or sweaty dance party (although it featured that too). Centred at the host hotel, Novotel Queenstown, organisers and participants provided an avalanche of glittery events to distract the gays – everything from skiing (obviously) to a Rocky Horror screening and costume competition (camp). To sum: dancing, drinking, and spot tanning around the goggles, with a shamefully inhaled serve of onion rings or two from Fergburger (Mantra: ‘It’s ok, we’ll snowboard them off.’)

And, really, there’s no better location than Queenstown, with its ability to remain stylishly composed (perfectly coifed) in the face of adrenaline-fuelled activities like skydiving, bungy-jumping, rafting, and a luge which has one putting faith in sharp-turns you need a gondola lift to reach. The streets are like an alpine Disneyland, making the thumping bars with hot fireplaces all the more salacious. Of course, the emphasis is on the slopes, and Queenstown provides variety in the form of Coronet Peak and The Remarkables. Gay Ski Week takes advantage of both (with The Pink Ski Bus), and evening drinks become an increasingly mandatory activity as the week gets on and your hamstrings begin to die in your pants. Though 12Bar – the gay spot which saw some serious action in 2009 on its diminutive dance floor – has closed for mainstream rebranding, there’s no shortage of friendly drinking holes to knock back a double G&T. Barmuda features an impressive outside fireplace which blazes till the wee hours of the morning. Conveniently, the best breakfasts in town are right next door at Joe’s Garage.

The latest incarnation of Gay Ski Week NZ sees a world first: they’ve partnered with DNA to provide the magazine’s first ever ‘hot’ pool party. They’re all hot, but this one takes it literally, sprawling over rock pools, hot tubs and a day spa in spectacular Wanaka scenery. “The growth of the event means we can now include the local regions, which also helps us to keep it fresh,” says organiser Mike Sanford. Given that last year’s festivities were at their best with brash extroverted moments like the White Out Party – ridiculously cheap drinks and a DJ in the svelte figure of Kitty Glitter (returning) – the new pool party promises to prove one of the week’s highlights.
The current line-up also features a Cowboy Dinner, Retro Bowling, Snow Gaymes, Big Gay Out, Play Day, Buff Party and the wicked return of White Out for shirtless debauchery prevented the rest of the week by, you know, winter. Karaoke in 2009 proved a surprising hit, and returns as well with even more disgraceful showtunes to get the heart fluttering in orgiastic pop excess. And – that’s not all – Fag Tag takes over historic Arrowtown, in case a single bar isn’t enough.

Convinced? Catch a direct flight with Qantas or Air New Zealand, but be aware that landings are occasionally diverted due to weather. Or do what we did: fly into Christchurch and hire a car for a spectacular and worthwhile drive across the South Island (6-7 hours). Once there, Gay Ski Week NZ offers comprehensive packages which include tickets to all events, 8 nights accommodation, ski passes, rentals and bus transport. Of course, you can do this all yourself, and a larger group might consider hiring a house for absolute flexibility. But solitary travellers should flock to the host hotel, because, like most things, it’s hottest at the centre.

Gay Ski Week NZ runs from 4-12 September, 2010. For more information on Gay Ski Week NZ, head to GaySkiWeekNZ.com.