SameSame.com.au ~ Inside Out Australia

Things now feel right for me. I am content. I have been in a long-term relationship with my partner, Paul, who has been by my side for the past two and a half years. Together we have the love and support of our family, friends and peers.

I know some people may feel deceived or betrayed. I hope you can find it within to understand that ‘coming out’ can be a very troubling, confusing, and emotional time.

‘Coming out’ is a very personal experience, and anyone who has or will go through this, will learn that we each handle it differently. We each have our own stories.

For some, ‘coming out’ isn’t a big issue. For me it was. Others say you should just be honest with yourself. Well, that is easier said than done.

I would have liked to keep my private life just that, though not because I was ashamed of who I am. It was purely a personal decision to keep the things I have cherished most close to my heart. It was the only part of my world I could keep to myself. It kept me sane, grounded and safe.

However, thanks to recent speculation my private life has become an issue, and I regret any fallout this speculation may have had on others.

In my late teens, I had difficulty coming to terms with my sexuality. Whether it was perceived family pressures, or the feelings of being a disappointment, or of not meeting my own expectations, those first years were extremely difficult.

I hated myself. I would lock myself away from the world. I wouldn’t speak to anyone. I thought there was something wrong with me and I couldn’t escape it or fix it. There was a lot of confusion in trying to understand who I was.

Only a year after `coming out’ to my parents came ‘Australian Idol’. It was an opportunity of a lifetime to help achieve my dream. You can’t ever imagine, nor prepare yourself, for the media onslaught involved in a competition like this. It’s not a gradual learning experience. You are literally thrown into the deep end and it is sink or swim.

When I was first asked if I was gay, I remember being scared, shocked, and intruded upon. It was very confronting at the time and I wasn’t mentally prepared for it.

I lied, and for that, I’m sorry.

I wasn’t completely comfortable within my own skin. I had worked extremely hard to get to where I was for many years and I wanted to be known as a singer and a performer rather than the `gay contestant’. I was also concerned with the consequences this may have had on my family and those close to me.

I now know this was all a mistake.

I’ve since had a great deal of time to learn about who I am and what is important to me. Now, I want to continue doing what I do without restrictions or barriers. I want you to see me for who I am along with what I do.

Many people have commented on the considerable amount of pain and hurt in the songs of my album, ’ New Chapter’. I guess my music was the bridge to my soul, my emotion and my memory. So, it goes without saying, `A New Chapter’ is a big part of me. I am extremely proud of this album and I hope you feel and hear my story through it.

I have had such an amazing journey so far and have met some amazing people along the way. And there is nothing better than getting out on stage and performing live.

I wouldn’t have the chance to share with you my music and my stories without your support. Thank you to all my wonderful fans, the media, and the Australian public, for allowing me to follow my dream.

Thank you also to my families at Sony BMG and my management team, Peppermint Blue, for your ongoing support.

I’d also like to thank my family for their unconditional love and understanding, and to Paul’s family, for letting me in. To my wonderful friends, you help get me through the good and bad, the ups and downs. And of course, my Paul, for eternity I love you.