In NSW, there are approximately 10,000 sex workers. It’s no small figure, and a significant percentage of them are employed within our queer communities.

Same Same spoke to a tall and athletic 19-year-old from Sydney, who worked in a ‘parlour’ on and off until recently. “A parlour is just a nice name for a brothel,” he says of his previous employment.

He didn’t want his name revealed, but this young man’s story sheds some light on what goes on behind closed doors…

How did you first get into it?

I got fired from my job. My friend used to do it, and I owed money to my real estate agent. If I got a real job I wouldn’t have gotten paid in time and I just decided to do it. I was really scared. I was just 18.

Were you really nervous when you first started?

Yeah, it was scary, obviously. The only reason I started it was because I felt I had no options. I always say I did it because I had to, but I stayed in it because I was lazy.

What kept you there?

You can work whenever you want, you can chose when you work, like, you can have months of holidays… the money. People think that being a hooker makes you really rich, but you’re not, you make enough to live. You get paid in cash, so you spend it easily. Well, I did. I had a reason to start, but you get so comfortable doing it. Like, once I paid off my debt I could have easily gotten a job but I was so lazy. It makes me so sad.

What is a typical day?

You can roster on for a day or night, or both, which lots of people do. Lots of people work constantly, which I could never do.

Do those people make more money?

Probably. If I worked a whole week, day and night, I could make probably $6,000. I usually did just daytime. You go into work, you just sit around in a room, which is a smoking room with no windows – there are no windows in the entire place – and wait for people [clients] to come. Then the bell rings, and you intro the person. Even when that happens, they [the client] are in the intro room and whoever’s working goes in one by one and they [the client] decides who they want. It’s like a silent competition between you and the other people working, even though we’re all friendly. Then if you get it you take them into a private room and give them a drink and then… get into it.

And is it done by the hour?

Well, its different everywhere, like in Melbourne you can get 15 minutes which is hands only, but here you can do half an hour or hourly.

And what does that include?

Well, it’s different for every worker. It depends on how confident and assertive you are with yourself. If you’re really confident then you can control the situation, and go into the private room and dictate, like, charge extra for things like kissing and fetishes. But the ones who aren’t [confident] just do whatever the client wants for the same price. Some of the boys don’t have sex if it’s only for half an hour, some do.

So, what is the procedure when you start with a client?

There are really no rules, but most workers start off by saying ‘I’ll go get you a drink while you have a shower.’ They usually have a shower, but some don’t, which sucks because some people [clients] fuckin’ stink. I’ve made some people shower three times. Stinky fuckers. So then you get them a drink and you get your little bag, which is like a hideous little pencil case full of condoms and lube and stuff.

I’ve heard that you use condoms even for oral sex?

Well, it’s at your [the workers] discretion. But yeah, I think most workers do it [use condoms for head].

Do clients get angry with that?

Yeah. Well, not really angry but they can’t expect you to give head without it. Again, it depends how confident you are. Most people that start doing it [sex work] don’t really value themselves as a person at all, which was me for a while, but then you realize that you should.

There’s two ways of doing it; you can be the person that is doing it for the client, or there’s the kind of person that is doing it for themselves, and they respect themselves and they will have the power. And if you have the power then its really easy to tell them that you’re not doing it without a condom on and all that sort of stuff. It’s usually if you show any sign of weakness then they keep going, like if they ask you to not use a condom and you think about it then that gives them an opening, but if you just say ‘no, I’m sorry’ from the beginning, that’s the service.

What sort of clients do you get in?

Lots of Asian guys. Many rather old… like, old, old. Some aren’t, some are like, 30. You get closet straight guys as well… I’d say 90% of clients are married.

What percentage of clients meet the sort of standards you apply to potential lovers in your personal life?

It’s rare. Very rare. But they are usually people who are traveling. We get a lot of people who will come and be in Sydney for a few hours in transit so they can’t go out and meet people. So they’ll come in.

Do you ever decline people who select you?

It’s different for everyone. When I first started I never would because I needed the money, so you do anything. But once you get into that comfortable stage, you can actually choose and you can sit there when someone comes in and say no.

Are there two-way mirrors?

There are security cameras.

Do you ever bump into clients in the street?

I did once. And he was such a fuckwit. He came up and sat next to me and stared at my face. He didn’t say anything the whole time but I wanted to scream ‘GO AWAY!’

Was it something you kept secret for your friends?

You can’t keep it secret. Everyone thinks you can, but you can’t forever. It’s just like anything on the gay scene in Sydney, you know everyone knows everything. And the gay brothels and escorts is part of the gay scene, it’s just another aspect. I remember on my first days, one of the other guys said to me ‘Never tell your friends, because your friends will say they’re not judging you, but they always are,’ which is true. I’m not saying it’s a good or bad judgment but it changes the way people look at you.

What term do you guys prefer?

I like “hooker”. I hate the word “prostitute” [laughs] Ho fo’ sho?

So tell me a bit about the people that work there. Are there a lot of 18 year olds?

Pretty much everyone who works there has started young. Someone had been working there for 13 years. Average is probably two years. There are people who are there because they need money, and some for who it’s their actual job. Not many people have supplement jobs. It’s very unreliable though, there’s no guarantee you’ll get a client, like some days you don’t actually have any clients at all.

How much do you get for each job?

For an hour, which is standard, you get $130 and work gets $110. So the client pays $240.

Do you find that unfair?

A little bit, but it’s a lot safer to be there than on the street or something.

What are the busiest times of the year?

After tax. After tax is really busy. When it rains, no one comes. When it’s hot, night shifts are good, but it only gets busy at like 2am after people have gone out or are drunk. We got some fucked up clients. What’s weird is that after they cum, they freak out too.

In terms of STI’s and checks, how often would you get checked? Would the parlour supervise the checks?

To get the job, you can’t work if you have anything like that. I was told that you should get checked every three months, every six months if you’re not a worker. But no one there does that.

Does the parlour check on you?

No, it’s your responsibility to get checked yourself. They don’t really ask you, ever.

So in theory there could be some people working there who have never had an STI check?

Yeah, but in all honesty, it’s in your best interest to get tested. Because if a client gets something they’ll know where it’s from and then the whole business will go down. It’s kind of like drug dealers, you don’t mess with people. It’s better to be honest.

Have you ever had a client who has visibly had an STI?

No, I don’t think so. Sometimes we get really old guys who have weird skin tags and stuff, though.

So are you honest with your friends now?

Yeah. I find that if you go out, and you own it, nobody really cares what you do, it’s nothing to anyone. But if you try and hide it, people will gossip and will talk about you. People don’t care, it’s a job, and someone has to do it. I respect the people who do it as a job.

How did it affect you personally?

I got really sad, because I think when you set yourself up in a mindset to start, because you know nothing about it, you think you’re never going to tell anyone because there’s an obvious stigma attached to it. I don’t regret doing it at all, but I think it’s changed me a lot. Nothing excites me at all. It’s weird. Even just going to the movies, I would be so excited, but now it’s just like… I’ve got no spice for life.

In terms of personal life, did you date guys? Did you tell anyone?

I did [date guys], but it was hard for me to tell them, so I didn’t say anything. I think it stopped me from meeting people because I thought the two couldn’t exist together. I didn’t tell people I slept with.

Why did you stop?

I was so sad. The lifestyle, which is like, doing nothing, and you have so much time to gather your thoughts and you think so much so you just get depressed. In life you think about love, work, sex and friends. And if you work there, you’re having sex, so you just think about life and love and it’s intense. Finally one day I realized it was the job that made me sad, not my friends or my life.

Now you’ve left, do you feel you’re on the right track?

I’m kind of waiting to get myself back. This whole year has been a blur but next year is like a new start.

But if someone is going to judge you and not want to be your friend or involved with you because of it, then they are someone I don’t want to know. My friends that love me, love me because of who I am and the other stuff doesn’t matter. And yes, it’s hard to not tell family, and I think they know.

SWOP – the Sex Worker Outreach Project is NSW’s leading sex worker health agency, promoting the health, safety and well-being of sex workers, and affirming their occupational and human rights. Find out more on its official website here.