Talking about sex might be OK, but what about telling your mates you’ve been a bit of a slut? Why is indulging in copious amounts of safe gay sex so taboo?
Whenever I run into gay acquaintances around town we’ll inevitably start quizzing each other about our sex lives and who we’ve been shagging recently.
What pisses me off is that guys never want to admit that they’ve slept with more than one person in the last day/week/month for fear of being labeled a manwhore, so truthful answers are a rarity.
I don’t really see why it’s such a big deal to be sexually liberated and proudly promiscuous? I always spill the beans on my X-rated dalliances, but that’s probably because I lead such a PG-13 lifestyle (I’m far too shy to be unzipping my pants for every guy in town).
But I wholly respect those who do, because there’s really nothing wrong with choosing to copulate with numerous men.
Psychology and sexuality lecturer from Monash University Gordon Walker believes social conditioning plays a major role in gay men’s lives and the ways they perceive morality and sex.
“From a young age gay people are bombarded with images of the hetero-masculine norm of booze, broads and beer, they’re exposed to role models on film and in the media who are celebrated for their promiscuity like James Bond and Hugh Hefner,” he points out.
“On the flipside, many gay celebrities like Anthony Callea and Carson Cressley don’t seem to lead sexually-charged private lives, because if they did they’d be seen as morally decrepit. So it’s understandable why many same-sex attracted people see gay promiscuity as impure or unpalatable.”
Walker’s words are definitely food for thought.
As a collective people we’ve survived ghastly oppression, so why can’t we just say it loud and proud – we’re free to fuck whomever we please on as many occasions and in as many positions as possible.Gay sex is the beautiful act that distinguishes us from our heterosexual counterparts – and we should feel proud to take a great big sizeable bite from our forbidden fruit. Whether we fuck 1 or 1,000 guys in a calendar year is irrelevant.
We’re free to follow our own sexual path, and we live in an era where homosexual activity is no longer a punishable criminal offence.
Whilst it’s true that HIV and a host of other sexually transmitted infections are omnipresent in gay society, that fabled sheath of latex we call a condom is an impermeable barrier when used correctly and consistently, and with regular testing appointments we shouldn’t spend too long stressing over STIs and their cavalcade of symptoms.
Besides, condoms and sexual health tests are no-brainers for us in the pink kingdom, but are they commonplace in the heterosexual world? How many of our straight peers use condoms with every sexual partner and get themselves screened for STDs every 6 to 12 months?
Yes we have a higher prevalence of STIs in the gay male population, but in the modern-day globalized world, everybody has to be on their guard when it comes to these viruses and bacteria, so we’re right on the frontline in the battle for optimal sexual health.
Many believe we can only experience deep connections and ‘genuine’ passion with long-term partners or bonafide soulmates, yet that’s just not true. We write our own narratives in life, we set our own rules and we can experience a healthy nirvana with total strangers if the chemistry is right.
I believe we can learn something from every sexual experience we have. Sex with a veritable stranger (albeit someone who respects their fellow man) can be as rewarding and heartfelt as shagging your long-term spouse.
In short, nobody has the right to sit atop a moral high horse and judge others based on their breadth of sexual partners.
Bed-hopping straight men are hailed as heroes yet gay guys are shamed into silence, yet morally speaking, sex with a man is no different to sex with a woman – full stop.
Gay intimacy is a basic part of who we are as homosexual homosapians, and we deserve to have as much of it as we desire without feeling unnecessarily bloated.
Robert Edward Smith is a 24-year-old Communications graduate, freelance writer and bisexual advocate for equality based in Melbourne, Australia.