Nic finds that guys he gets interested in suddenly end up settling down with a special someone else. Will this cupid ever find his own man?
A couple of weeks ago, there was a guy I was hooking up with. We weren’t dating, nor were we sleeping together, but every time we saw each other out we managed to end up together at some stage. Either way, my history with this person is irrelevant; the bottom line is that there was something pretty fresh going on.
This week, I discovered (through trusty old Facebook) that he now has a boyfriend.
I was a little bit shocked, mainly because I had no idea he was even seeing anybody, but through further investigation it seems as if they are totally shacked up.
It’s not so much that I’m upset he is now taken – I’ve known him for a long time and my feelings for him have never been strong enough to warrant making a move. We had talked about dating, but he was always adamant he wasn’t ready to start seeing someone as he had broken off a long term, on/off-again relationship a few months ago (you know the kind).
I didn’t like him, but I didn’t not like him.
Anyway, after I stopped trying to make the situation look less tragic than it was, I slowly realised it was likely that I was the one who changed his mind about dating again. Great.
Looking back on my dating history – which has been rather dry in 2011 – it’s not the first time this has happened.
Back in March I went on a few dates with a guy who I got pretty comfortable with. Being quite a bit older than me, he was apprehensive to open up emotionally, so we took it slow.
The fling fizzled (mutually and organically), and two weeks later I bumped into him getting dinner on Oxford Street. Not so lucky that I was dining by myself that night. After a mini-conversation, he introduced me to the guy he was with. ‘This is my boyfriend.’
WTF? Is it just me? Does this happen to a lot of people? I’m sure I’m not alone (figuratively).
It’s not even a case of these guys pretending not to be ‘ready’ for a relationship as an excuse and it’s not a case of me being particularly keen on settling down either.
It’s more the fact that with guys I can see a future with, no matter how preliminary, I set boundaries like no sex for a few dates, with no intention other than to explore the possibility of something more permanent, and it seems I inadvertently warm these guys up for other boys to commit to.
So there it is: I’m a relationship seat-warmer. Not a great title to have, but I’m not too fussed; and at the risk of sounding like the biggest gay-boy twat ever, I’m pretty happy with single life.
What I’ll do if it happens again? I’ll always have Ab Fab re-runs and cheesecake. Sigh.