Pam Ann. Her name is synonymous with in-flight entertainment at its finest. While many airlines have little screens at the back of each seat with a few channels of b-grade movies and sitcoms, fly with Pammy and you’re sure of an uproarious time, from take-off to landing, whether you’re sipping Champagne in First Class or slumming it in Cattle Class.
I begin our call: “Hi Pam! It’s Matt from Same Same, where are you now?”
“In New York, doll!” the flirtatious frequent flyer informs me. “Yeah, I get around… I’m a dirty whore!”
“It’s insane,” the Melbourne-born air-hostess-with-the-mostess adds with a giggle. “I’m flying around the world doing shows so much now. When I started out, I thought I’d just get to Sydney if I was lucky!”
Her Around the World Tour is certainly propelling Pam all over the place… London, Canada, Vienna, Israel, Norway, Switzerland… the list goes on. She says she misses home though and can’t wait to see a good Aussie crowd again, as much as she’s loving the Big Apple. “It’s great here, they’re lapping it up, but sometimes they don’t quite get my irony,” she admits. “At a restaurant, I’ll finish every last morsel and tell the waiter with a smile ‘I hated it’. He’ll say ‘really? You didn’t like it?’ He won’t get that I’m joking as I obviously licked the plate clean!”
“Some passengers behave very badly. Flight crews have to be therapists, security guards and nannies.”
Pam Ann realises that being a real flight attendant can be hard work, as people react in varying ways to being waited on while they’re high in the sky. “Some passengers behave very badly. Flight crews have to be therapists, security guards and nannies. And they have to enforce all these crazy rules, like turning off your mobile phone. Look, if phones could bring down a plane, they’d snatch them out of your hands as you got on board and lock them in a secure safe for the entire flight. They’re all liars!”
Travelling so much is certainly giving Pam loads of material for her shows. Flight crews now recognise the glam comedian and share their stories for her to retell. “It happens all the time now,” she laughs. “One British Airways staff member wouldn’t leave me alone, he was shy though and followed me around the airport before just saying ‘um, hi’.”
She’s not always successfully recognised, however. On a recent trip to get an old DV tape of her appearance at Cher’s farewell tour transferred to DVD, the Asian lady behind the counter began to think Pam was in fact Cher herself. ”’You Cher? YOU CHER! You Cher?’ she said and I just went along with it. She must’ve thought Cher dresses up as an air hostess or something. It got to the point where it was too late to say that I wasn’t Cher, and she asked for a photo with her. My boyfriend was there, crying! I thought, my God, do I look 70? And we are totally different body shapes! Imagine when that lady shows her photo to customers – the gays will soon spot the difference!”
Pammy’s dates are confirmed for August in Australia, and she’s also got much to look forward to in the next few days. “I feel like a kid at Christmas,” she enthuses. “I’m getting a new website!
“I’m sitting her now looking over it all. You’ll be able to watch clips from my old Foxtel TV show – you have to see it. My old website was lovely… for the ‘90s… but now we’re in the 21st century with this one.”
Miss Ann promises she’ll have the all-new PamAnn.com online next week. In the meantime, check out her Aussie tour dates below and enter Same Same’s contest to win double passes to her show in your nearest capital city PLUS a signed poster here!
Pam Ann will be landing at the following Aussie venues during August:
WEDNESDAY 1 AUGUST, 8PM – ADELAIDE, DUNSTAN PLAYHOUSE, FESTIVAL THEATRE
FRIDAY 3 – SATURDAY 4 AUGUST, 8:00PM – SYDNEY, THE STATE THEATRE
FRIDAY 10 – SAT 11 AUG, 8PM – BRISBANE, POWERHOUSE THEATRE
TUESDAY 14 – WEDNESDAY 15 AUGUST, 8PM – DARWIN CONVENTION CENTRE AUDITORIUM
FRIDAY 17 AUGUST, 8PM SATURDAY 18 AUGUST, 8:00PM – MELBOURNE, THE ATHENAEUM
FRIDAY 24 – SATURDAY 25 AUGUST, 8PM – PERTH, THE ASTOR