A few weeks ago I was out clubbing with a friend, Sam, and a very attractive homosexual caught his eye.

“Oh My God, he’s SO beautiful,” Sam said, admiring the boy.

“Go and talk to him,” I advised.

“No, he’s out of my league.” And just like that Sam gave up. But an hour later the beautiful homosexual was making out with a guy whom one might describe as a hobbit! It got me thinking, if the attractive guy and the Hobbit hooked up, did that mean they were in the same league?

Sam went home that night confused and frustrated. If he had gone up to talk to the hot guy he may have had a chance, but because Sam believed he wasn’t good enough for him based on looks, he would never know what could have been.

I told Sam that if he thinks he can only date guys who are the same attractiveness as him, it would really limit the number of people he could date. Who decides these leagues anyway? The actuality is, there are no leagues, just preferences.

“If he’d gone up to talk to the hot guy he may have had a chance, but Sam believed he wasn’t good enough for him.”

Sam was attracted to the guy at the club – so much that it intimidated him. In fear of rejection and possibly a lack of self-esteem, Sam chose not to make a move. The attractive man however found the Hobbit attractive, so the two of them hooked up. Just because Sam didn’t think the hot guy and the Hobbit were in the same league, didn’t mean they thought they weren’t.

No one really knows what other people’s preference for a partner is until they get to know someone. Though with some brutally honest dating profiles out there stating “only into fit young guys” or “not into [insert racial group here]” or “no one over 30”, it’s easy to see how some people might feel dejected by the gay community and assume they are not many people’s type.

Just because some people don’t fit the “classically attractive” stereotype that fed to us by the media, does not mean they are not in the same “league” as those who are considered as “handsome”. No matter who you are or what you look like, someone out there will find you attractive! I can say this confidently as I don’t know any gay virgins.

The issue is we live in a world where stereotypes, labels and assumptions are so easy to get caught up in. You see a twink and might think that he only likes other twinks. You see a bear and assume that he is only attracted other bears. There is no rule saying that guys can only like one certain type of guy who is in the same “league” as them. Everyone has different preferences.

Sam will never forget the night the hot guy went home with a hobbit. So if you ever see a guy and think that he is out of your league, you never know… you might just be his preference.

- by Chris Kam