What would you do if you met someone you really liked, arrived at their place for some sexy time and were confronted with a whole heap of stuffed toys on their bed?
Or better still… you pulled back the covers and a stuffed toy lay there watching you?
Interesting statistic: Apparently 35% of adults still sleep with a stuffed toy. So chances are, if you date a few people, this scenario could very possibly happen to you.
So, how would you handle it?
When I was young I had a rabbit called Mumby.
This isn’t Mumby, but he kind of looked like this:
Mumby was a lovely, yet silent character who accompanied me everywhere. Hanging out with me though was not without its dangers. There was an unfortunate incident where Mumby stupidly dipped his ear in my rice bubbles, so I had to put him in front of the heater to dry. As you can probably guess Mumby sat too close to the heater and his ear caught on fire. My Mum had to operate, with scissors. She amputated his ear without anaesthetic.
It’s a cruel world.
Mumby was a survivor though, so he was ok. He never told me that, but we continued to venture on like nothing had happened. The only real difference was that when he needed a wash Mum could no longer hang him by two ears on the line, but I always thought that was uncalled for anyway.
Mumby and I were inseparable until I got to Primary school, and then we started to grow apart. I discovered basketball cards, enjoyed conversation and Mumby just wasn’t really into chatting about Michael Jordan. But I still adored him, and he was my oldest friend. In fact, we were the same age.
Mumby was taken out of my bed and moved to the top of my wardrobe where he sat looking down on my world.
I never really grew out of loving rabbits though and collect them now. The ones I collect are by an artist called Frank Kozik, and they’re called Labbits. This is my favourite Labbit, called Stache.
The difference between when I was a child to now: I simply admire my Labbits from afar. And they aren’t toys that I play with, they are collector’s items by a well-known artist and to me they are art. Yes I just said that.
But seriously… I wonder how my current girlfriend would have handled it if I still slept with Mumby? It brings a whole new meaning to the word ‘threesome’, doesn’t it?
Luckily for me, I grew out of it, but a lot of people don’t.
Would it creep you out if you met someone who still slept with their stuffed toy or blankie?
Would you set the rule that during sexy time the soft toy would be ejected to the lounge-room to ‘watch TV’?
And if it is a security thing for some people… Would you be offended if they still needed their toy despite being in a happy and safe relationship with you?
As you know, with my writings I like to cover the tough territory.
So, soft toys… enemy or ally?