The LGBTI alphabet continues with C – we’ll tackle Clubs, Curves, Cock Rings, Coming Out, Anthony Callea, Cunnilingus and those all-important Condoms.

Condoms

Also known as frangers, rubbers, cock-socks, love-gloves, johnnies, or poshies (to give a few nicknames) condoms are the prevention saviour of our time. You can get big ones, small ones, ultra-thin ones, coloured ones, flavoured ones, scented ones, glow-in-the-dark ones, latex ones and polyisoprene ones made of natural rubber if you’re allergic to latex.

Fascinating as their myriad forms are, using a condom is still the most effective way of preventing the transmission of HIV and of reducing your chances of picking up or passing on other sexually transmissible infections (STIs). The moral of this story is slip it on.

Slip it on properly too! Here are some quick tips on best condom use practice: choose the right size for you, check the expiry date, be careful not to tear it, check its going on the right way around, make sure you’re hard before you put it on, squeeze out the air then roll it all the way to the base of your dick. If fucking use plenty of lube and use the condom once only. Check it for breakages more often if you’re pierced. Lastly, please don’t flush your johnny down the loo as condoms kill dolphins!

Clubs

Clubs are most likely the playground where we first saw same sex attraction. That stir in your groin as you saw a hot gay couple locking lips. The excitement of thinking OMG they are kissing and it’s OK, no one is staring; except for you that is.

For decades, clubs have been a safe ground for gay people to come ‘out’. The Tea Dances of generations back to the Disco era of the ‘70s to the Super Clubs of the ‘80s and ‘90s. Today gay bars and clubs are as much as ever a place to express yourself, be free, avant garde and overt. To pick up and pash, to hold hands or even dress like Gaga without ridicule or disdain.

The drag queens on stage had wit and glamour, the colour and movement of the show, the campery, the fun the frivolity. From Cher asking “Do you believe in life after love?” Madonna advising us to “Express Yourself” and Kylie embracing “All the Lovers”, the music was speaking your language and telling you that you were alright.

It was not only OK to be gay in the clubs, it was downright the best time of your life. Who wouldn’t want to be gay, the gay clubs are; and always will be; the most fun ‘out’ in anyone’s language.

Cock rings

Made out of metal, rubber, leather, or silicone, a cock ring is a circular device that is usually placed at the base of the penis in order to slow the flow of blood away the erect penile tissue, maintaining an erection for a longer period.

Often the cock ring is worn around the base of the penis and scrotum. One might wear it for medical purposes when a man suffers from erectile dysfunction, however most men use it for recreational purposes, either to prolong the erection and delay orgasm or to simply enjoy the sensation that comes with the tightness that wearing one provides. Oh and lets not forget that some even come with a vibrating mechanism for enhanced pleasure.

There is also some underwear available which comes with a pre-fitted cock ring, usually consisting of a pouch with an internal fabric/elastic ring – as one walks along, the ring enhances the erogenous zone and gives the wearer the aesthetic look of a larger package.

While it may seem all fun and games, precautions do need to be taken when using cock rings. A ring shouldn’t be worn for more then 30 minutes. Falling asleep or using illicit drugs can also be dangerous, running the risk of an awkward visit to the hospital and a variety of medical problems such as nerve damage. As the old story goes, if you’re gonna play with sex toys, just remember to read the instructions first.

Curves

There is nothing sexier than curves and confidence, so ladies and gentlemen – it’s time to ditch the self-loathing and find some self-love.

Curves are beautiful, they make hugs extra-special and they are just so magnificently sexy. There is no “ideal” size and nothing you can or can’t eat that will make you thin or fat forever. Don’t let magazines tricking into thinking you “need” to “banish unwanted cellulite” because I know I am not alone in knowing cellulite is sexy, and for most of us, it’s a fact of life. I like to think of my own cellulite as my skin’s very own abstract art, on limited exhibition for my girlfriend: exclusive and seductive.

Its time we to relax. Go to your favourite cafe and bask in the indulgence of good coffee and a sweet treat. Live for who you are right now, not who you might be in minus-5kgs time, because it’s more likely than not you’ll find nothing’s changed.

I shall continue to order my full-fat cappuccino and raspberry cheesecake because it’s delicious, not because I will or will not to look “totally hot” in the Tigerlilly bikini Vogue is telling me I “Must Have” this season.

We are not dictated by our dress size, were are defined by our actions and decisions.

Confidence is not a size, a style or a season,
Chips and chocolate taste good for a reason.

CoastOut

Surf’s up! Think of it as Mardi Gras by the beach. A one-of-a-kind LGBT event showcase, CoastOut in Coffs Harbour is an annual diverse celebration of sport, the arts and culture.

Kicking off again for 2012 this October 26th-28th, head to the harbour for surf competitions, parties, talks, beach activities, bowls, a fair day and even a Kylie memorabilia exhibition!

So grab your friends, your towel and your dancing shoes and join CoastOut for a weekend of sun, sand, surf and fun.

Get all the details here on CoastOut’s official website.

Cunnilingus

“For as long as lesbians have existed,” feminist sexologist Shere Hite has written, “oral sex, known as cunnilingus, has existed too.”

But the ways to which it is referred have changed over the centuries. In Victorian England, for example, it was referred to as ‘tipping the velvet,’ a term the contemporary British lesbian writer Sarah Waters later used as the title for her first novel.

In contemporary society, talking about receiving cunnilingus routinely involves the use of such phrases as ‘she went down on me’ or ‘she ate me out.’ Other terms abound – ‘rug-munching,’ ‘carpet-eating,’ ‘cunt-lapping’ and ‘muff-diving’ among them.

But what, really, does the word mean? In its most clinical sense, it is as Wikipedia defines it: “an oral sex act performed on a female. It involves the use by a partner of the mouth, lips and tongue to stimulate the female’s clitoris, vulva or vagina. A female may receive cunnilingus as part of foreplay before penetrative intercourse, or as intercourse.”

Many people are uncomfortable using the word itself and it doesn’t even appear in The Australian Oxford Dictionary! Other dictionaries do feature it, but their definitions are typically staid and clinical: “An oral sex act performed on a female. From the Latin, meaning ‘one who licks the vulva.’”

More encouraging, of course, is the existence of books seemingly dedicated to cunnilingus, such as The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Amazing Sex, The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure and one of the oldest bibles of lesbian sex, The Whole Lesbian Sex Book, first published decades ago and still in print.

As lesbian sex writer Violet Blue notes: “Learning to go down on a woman means understanding her pleasure anatomy, but it also requires trust, lust, and communication between both partners, no matter if it’s a one-night stand or a ten-year relationship. With a little trust and a dose of horniness, the possibilities for orgasmic cunnilingus are endless.”

Here’s her tips, and listen in to some fun discussion on the video below.

Coming Out

It starts with yourself, when you realise that you’re not quite straight. Sometimes that takes years of questioning, experimentation and self-discovery. For others, it was obvious – falling in love with a best friend, or realising at age 14 that you’re noticing the guys on the beach more than the girls.

Then come your mates. Your true friends know you very well and will stick by you when you come out to them. Others may not, but it’s their loss. As people come out younger and younger, LGBTI youth support network
Twenty10 is increasingly working with teenagers who are out to their whole school, in ways that may seem unthinkable to those from previous generations.

Perhaps the most stressful situation is coming out to your parents and other close family members. The fear of rejection is always there, and it may take time to work up the courage to let them know why their precious boy or girl has not brought a date home to meet their folks yet.

We share a few tips of coming out to your parents here.

Cockshot

Whether you are a fan of Grindr, Scruff, Manhunt or Gaydar you will inevitably either receive a cockshot or be asked to send one. Now with that in mind here are a few tips on how to send a good cockshot.

There is nothing good about a full bush, it can make things look smaller and also get in the way. So before sending a picture of your package, trim and make sure there are no random hairs where there shouldn’t be. With a nice haircut your assets will appear bigger.

Next tip for a better shot is also make sure things are rather aroused, as there is nothing attractive about a limp dick. Get yourself partially hard before you decide to take a pic. Also it is advisable to rub a little lube or moisturiser on your cock as the glistening affect looks better than a chaffed shaft.

Finally think about composition and location as we have all seen photos of semi-nude men in a messy room, dirty bathroom or even worse a view into their toilet. So think about the actual composition and location, as you never know where this pic will end up but you might as well look your best!

Cunt

“The c-word,” as so many timidly refer to it, is surely one of the most maligned and misused and misunderstood words in the English language.

Variously used as a slang term for vagina or hurled as an insult, it has in recent years undergone both a renaissance and reclamation by both heterosexual and lesbian feminists, but many men and women still think of it as an unacceptable or offensive term.

Just this month, American feminist Naomi Wolf published her book, Vagina: A Biography, in which she writes that “words about the vagina create environments that directly affect women and their bodies. The words women hear being used about their vaginas, both negative and positive, change what they purport to describe.”

Feminist and scholar Germaine Greer has rightly observed that ‘cunt’ remains “one of the few words in the English language with a genuine power to shock.” It was some 30 years ago that she first issued a call to what she called “cunt power.”

Greer wrote: “The relaxation of sexual taboos has not even been a reform, let alone a revolution. Revolutionary women may well join Women’s Liberation Groups and curse and scream and fight the cops, but did you ever hear one of them marching in the public street with her skirt held high crying, ‘Can you dig it? Cunt is beautiful!’ Skirts must be lifted, knickers must come off forever. It is time to dig ‘cunt’ and women must dig it first.”

The word remains, as she notes, with obvious dismay, “for many, ‘the worst word there is.’ That must change.”

Common abbreviations beginning with ‘C’

C&BT – Cock and Ball Torture

CBF – Can’t Be Fucked

CD – Cross-Dresser

*Cis*– Short for ‘Cisgendered’. Refers to someone whose gender is congruent with their biology. ie. not transgender.

CL – Cunnilingus

CPL – Couple

CR – Cock Ring

C2C, CTC – Cam-To-Cam

…and not forgetting… Anthony Callea!

Our very own out gay singing star, Melbourne’s Anthony Callea was first seen as the runner-up in the 2004 season of Australian Idol.

He came out in 2007: “Yes, I am gay,” he confirmed, addressing persistant rumours. “I have no issue with my sexuality now, but it’s taken time to become confident with who I am and happy with who I am. I’m comfortable enough to come clean now. It’s a weight off my shoulders.”

This page was co-written by Jono Francisco, Heidi Maier, Emily Jean Rutherford, Matt D’Silva, Chad St. James, Matt Akersten and the team at ACON.