Come with us as we learn what naughty and nice things begin with ‘N’ as our encyclopedic alphabet continues…

Non-monogamy

Come on in and shut the door behind you… non-monogamy is almost a taboo idea in these times when many of us are battling for marriage equality. But not all long-standing gay couples seek to settle down behind a hetero-normative white picket fence to have sex with only one person for the rest of their lives.

The keys to open relationships are respect, honesty and negotiation. You may love your man or woman very much and have a cherished emotional commitment but could also be keen to head out for new adventures together or separately.

Talk with your partner before opening up your relationship, and negotiate the rules first. Perhaps certain sexual situations may be allowed within your relationship, but not outside of it. Practicing safer sex is imperative to protect both you and your partner(s).

By being honest and avoiding lies and deceit, there’s no reason why the next phase of your coupling at home and away should necessarily be a drama. Negotiate and get specific about your boundaries and what is acceptable for both of you.

And keep the dialogue open – don’t neglect your partner or assume everything’s OK if they fall silent.

Knowing yourself and talking to your partners prior to sex, understanding the limits and the rules can take a load off your mind and make for some pretty hot times ahead.

Northstar

One of the X-Men featuring in Marvel comics, Northstar (Jean-Paul Beaubier) is the twin brother of Aurora and is one of the first openly gay superheroes in American comic books.

Northstar’s particular mutation allows him to move and fly at superhuman swiftness with the potential of reaching near light speeds. He also possesses superhuman stamina, endurance and reflexes that also sees him channeling potions of the kinetic energy of atomic motion in his body’s molecules into a single direction. Impressive!

Marvel has a well-known reputation for its history of writing in LGBT characters, many of whom have often been in committed relationships, and Marvel recently even took Northstar and his partner Kyle Jinadu to the next level by leading them down the aisle. Often reflecting America’s cultural and political developments, with Obama recently voicing his support on same-sex marriage, this announcement couldn’t have come at a more perfect time. X-Men character Northstar was Marvels’ first gay superhero.

The character was introduced to the world in 1979, however his sexuality was only revealed in 1992, when in Alpha Flight issue 106 his outing caused an unsuspecting media and fan frenzy. Since then the character has evolved through storylines including him adopting a baby with AIDS, mentoring a gay mutant, and releasing a tell-all book about being a gay mutant.

Now the most recent progression in the character’s story arc sees him now tying the knot with his long-time civilian partner Kyle. Marvel’s Editor-in-Chief Axel Alonso told the Huffington Post how the writers decided that Northstar deserved his Marvel milestone:

“When gay marriage became legal in New York State, it raised a question, since most of our heroes reside in that state: How would Northstar, the first openly gay character in comics, respond to this new development?” he said. “Would it change his long-term relationship with his partner, Kyle?

“Marvel Comics are best when they respond to developments in the real world, and this is just the latest expression of that.”

No Means No

Just because you’ve gone to visit his place, just because she’s drunk, just because you’re wired, just because it’s a wild party, just because you know him… none of this means you don’t have the right to end any sexual situation anytime you feel uncomfortable.

Some people do seem to have trouble taking “no” for an answer but you should be strong and assertive enough to end your hook-up whenever you want. And if someone’s taking advantage of your drunk or drug-induced state, that’s a crime.

No Means No, and if you haven’t consented to sex, it’s rape. Read more here.

Common abbreviations starting with N

ND – Non-Drinker

NIFOC – Naked In Front Of Computer

NM – Not Much, Never Mind

NP – No Problem

NS – Could be Non-Scene or Non-Smoker

N/Sc – Non-Scene (Doesn’t go to gay bars)

N/Sm – Non-Smoker

NSA – No Strings Attached

NSFW – Not Safe For Work

And not forgetting…

Noel Coward

Noel Coward was an out and proud gay man before the word gay was associated with homosexual and actually still meant happy!

Living in the 1920s and ‘30s, Coward was famous as an actor and then playwright, becoming an important part of the West End society with his outlandish productions commonly associated with wealthy individuals who always seemed to run into trouble with a cocktail or two in hand or copious amounts of flowing champagne.

He was stylish and had a very quick tongue and wit that featured often in his productions that were a huge hit in the West End and Broadway and resulted in a theatre being named in his honour in London.

His friends included the who’s who of Broadway, West End and Hollywood, many making appearances in his famous novel “The Noel Coward Diaries”.

Up until the end of his life Coward never discussed his homosexuality but spent most of his life with partner Graham Payn.

Time Magazine described Coward as “a sense of personal style, a combination of cheek, chic, pose and poise.” With a cocktail in hand, of course!

This page was co-written by Chad St. James, Matt Akersten, Matt D’Silva and the team at ACON.

Discover more letters of Same Same’s gAy to Z here.