Are you getting a reputation as a twink-chaser? Or do you enjoy the company of someone a little more antique?
Most guys tend to go for someone their own age, but gay workmates Jack Arthur Smith and Christopher Carroll both say they’ve had some great times with gentlemen born a few years outside their demographic. Can you relate?
Chris likes them young, fun and full of… well you get the idea.
I won’t lie, I used to think older was better. But then I saw that episode of Sex and the City, where Samantha was going to pork that elderly dude until she saw his wrinkly arse cheeks flapping in the wind. It was at that moment I realised that the only old guy I wanted to be getting it from was Santa.
There are numerous benefits to dating down the age scale. The first, of course, is sex. If you can nab a spritely twink who is eager to please and in his sexual peak, you’re going to get flogged harder than a filly on Derby Day. And should you encounter the Holy Grail – a virgin – then you’re pretty much going to reinact a scene from True Blood, where the very scent of their unexplored and angelic nooks and crannies feels like rapture for your hungry vampire senses.
Another huge bonus of scoring someone who thinks MASH is just a style of potato they’re meant to avoid approaching the Glitterball weekend, is that they know about technology. They know gadgets, they know acronyms for online chat and whenever I get the colourful wheel of death on my Mac screen, my boyfriend – three and a bit years my junior – knows just what to do. I would totally send him an emoji of gratitude if only I knew how.
Young guys know the hot new clubs too and their youthful zest for life will rub off on you when you fear your two crows’ feet framed eyes can no longer handle the lasers on the dance floor. Better still, score yourself a gay hipster and all the things you loved in your heyday are cool again. It’s just like reliving your childhood – but with a shitload more booze and bonking!
Leave dating older men to the Girls of the Playboy Mansion.
On the other hand, Jack reckons if they’re old and bold, they win the gold…
I’ve always been a big fan of the older gentlemen ever since I realised I was a flaming homosexual.
Whether it was an early infatuation with my PE teacher Mr Price and his free-balling bouncing bulge, or the fact the first piece of hardcore porn I laid eyes on where two hairy guys in their late 30s porking a lucky lady from all angles, I’m not too sure how it all began.
Of course, sex plays a large part in my favouritism to the more travelled fellow – even Mr Price’s kind brown eyes would have looked a lot nicer from knee’s eye view – and it goes without saying; older dudes really do have more experience. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve never straddled a younger stallion, I have and it’s been good, but a seasoned racer knows every corner, every jump and all the right times to apply the horsepower.
Then there’s dating. Oh the romance, the charm, the relaxed comfort of ordering a glass of the good stuff and at least attempting to do the swill, sniff and sip. Not that arty farty dining decorum should ever rule your judgement, far from it, but most mature chaps tend to frequent nicer places than Stonewall or Arq and don’t think eating out is just a film by Q. Allan Brocka.
But sweeping statements aside, one thing I love about the sexy salt and peppered silver foxes is they seem to appreciate life a little more. They understand the importance of listening, they know the joys of receiving impromptu gifts and they will, when they know it’s right, put your problems before their own. My boyfriend, seven years my senior, is particularly good at this.
And of course, put him in a suit and I’m all over him like a cash-strapped toy boy at DILF.
Who do you agree with? Jack or Chris? Or a bit with both? Let us know below.