View Full Version : life is good, but complex.
31st August 2009, 02:20 PM
31st August 2009, 09:42 PM
touch her arm or her hand, see how she reacts.
the cliche thing is to pull off a piece of imaginary lint.
1st September 2009, 01:52 PM
I remember the first girl I went out with and back then I was extremely shy. I didn't like being touched, even though I wanted to, the feelings were just too much. Start gentle, slow. Maybe nothing too private to start with - maybe try to make her feel safe by letting you know she's in control of where and how you touch her and that you'll stop if she can't handle it right now. i know that would have worked on me back then.
Hope that kind of sorta helps?
1st September 2009, 02:14 PM
Always hard to give advice without knowing the whole story but I'll try...
A week is not that long, so I wouldn't be too worried, but I do find it a little strange she won't hold your hand. What do you mean she won't let you - do you reach for it and she pulls her hand away, or do you mean she hasn't tried to hold your hand herself? If she was pulling her hand away, I'd be a little worried. If she's never been with a girl before, is she actually gay? Or just a curious straight girl who enjoys going out with you?
My advice: it's early days, just go out and have a good time, things don't have to be physical so soon. Get to know each other, go out and do some fun things together, and if there's still nothing physical happening after a few weeks maybe you will want to gently bring up the topic.
2nd September 2009, 10:13 AM
I know some people are not comfortable with PDA and some people are just shy. When you tried to hold her hand, did you do this in public? I also know that some girls are not touchy feely but it doesn't mean that they don't love/like you. When you go out, see how she reacts with her friends. Does she hug/touchy feely with them?
I gather you are a touchy feely kinda girl and yes it does get frustrating because that is "your way" to show your connection but that doesn't necessarily mean the same to her :) Some people show their love/connection in a different way. So when she holds your hand that is a special moment albeit in rare occasions :)
Some people kiss or even sleep on the first date and some will wait for months before doing that. So, just remember that everyone is different. I think if this is bugging you, maybe you should talk to her in the open and tell her how you feel?
This is her first. So it is an unfamiliar feeling, be patient, be gentle, be slow ;) Sounds like she is worth it.
Good luck =)
3rd September 2009, 09:38 PM
Er,you should have the courage to do what you want to.
Don't be shy,just try,one more try ,one more sky.
Best wishes for you,you can make it.
Don't hesitate (http://www.ifsneaker.com)
7th September 2009, 01:47 AM
well its getting there. she's chillin out a bit now, which I think is because we've had so many dnm's now its like I've known her my whole life! :)
7th September 2009, 01:34 PM
Great news trina! Some people like to know someone well before they get physical, I know I certainly do...in fact I'm not someone who even hugs people I don't know! That said if I was in a committed relationship I would expect to have a little physical contact, at least holding hands in the beginning. You said she never kissed a girl before, has she kissed a man? Just wondering if her shyness comes from total inexperience or from fear about doing it with a woman.
7th September 2009, 05:45 PM
Good on you Trina, so glad things are starting to work out. Good luck for the two of you :)
9th September 2009, 01:52 PM
You said she never kissed a girl before, has she kissed a man? Just wondering if her shyness comes from total inexperience or from fear about doing it with a woman.
I think a bit of both, she has kissed 1 guy before, and from her description, he was crap. and went straight for the grope too.
Thanks for the advice and support girls:)
2nd October 2012, 02:32 PM
I don't think you should feel bad about using alcohol to break the shyness barrier. You only need to do it once.
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