What YOU have to say about domestic violence

[lucymack]

Hi, I'm a second year university student completing a research project about young australians between the ages of 16 and 24 about their attitudes towards domestic violence as a social problem, and what they think might be the causes.

Please complete the survey using the link below. It has ethics approval from RMIT university, and is completely anonymous. If you would like any extra information please e-mail me at lucy.rmit@gmail.com.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=odtATAwgPJ_2ffOxZg72lTBA_3d_3d

Your help would be greatly appreciated.

[bgf northernnick]

Hi Lucymac,
Think it's gr8 that there is a survey on this issue...but a shame that there is only interest in younger age groups attitudes!:(
Has been my experience as an oldy in the community that many people in glbti relationships experience domestic violence but because it's not physical abuse they do not necessarily associate it as domestic violence......Excuses i have heard over the years have been...He/she was on a bad come down!........It hasn't happened that often and maybe it's my fault?
Bottom line is that here are many forms of domestic violence that include...intimidation, emotional abuse and not just physical violence.......No one should have to puy up with it either from family,friends or partners and reckon this could be a gr8 thread for people to share their experiences too.
Low self esteem is a large contributing factor in many cases and think it's gr8 that we now have forums like these to share our wisdoms with others.
Thought for the day....We are all deserving of better times and the knowlege of how to address these issues whe they come up in our lives....
warm regards,
Nick

[Baby]

Wasn't a question in the survey, but I think a big problem is the attitude that someone deserves to be hit if they did something wrong. When Chris Brown beat Rihanna a while back, magazines etc were asking "what did you think of that?" and I was shocked how many people (including women) said things like "Well we don't know what SHE did" and "Maybe she said something and she deserved it."

[Ash Rehn]

I find the idea that domestic violence has a 'cause' a little misleading. The cause of domestic violence is individuals who are violent towards their partners. If domestic violence is to be reduced it is important that these individuals are expected to take responsibility for acts of violence and externalising violence is a distraction from this.

I recently spoke to a young guy who asked me if the physical abuse by his boyfriend could be a product of 'high testosterone'. He wanted to keep believing his boyfriend loved him and that his boyfriend was somehow at the mercy of his body chemistry, this violence a product of male hormones. Perhaps this was the boyfriend's justification for producing a black eye and bruised ribs. But in my experience when perpetrators of violence are not held responsible for their actions, the violence continues and usually gets worse.

The other reflection I'd like to make is that violence is learned early in life and in Australia we do not do enough to address that. A recent survey reported in the Sydney Morning Herald suggested that up tp 60% of Australian parents believed it was acceptable to smack their child. My friends in Sweden are horrified about this. Actually most are in total disbelief. It is a criminal act in Sweden to strike a child.

When children and young people grow up learning that it is acceptable to physically hurt someone they bring this belief into their adult relationships. These two things- the failure to hold individuals responsible for their violence and the fact that up to 60% of parents in this country are teaching violence to their children- are sustaining domestic violence.