The Pressure To Be Perfect

[kylierose]

hmmm, might have included some images that don't represent the message you're trying to deconstruct?

[lukerhn]

Totally loving the irony there!

[taylor-dayne]

totally! it's all about the irony. wouldn't pack half the punch if the pics weren't so OTT.

[timmeyboy]

Brilliant article though,
I'm always comparing myself to others, wishing I was taller, that my hair wasn't vanishing, that i had the body of those guys at the gym. I don't think I'm shallow to care so much about appearence but I guess we all have things we don't like about ourselves. I try to concentrate on the positive things but it's difficult to think about them

[taylor-dayne]

i think we should all make lists of our best qualities! right here, right now!

timmeyboy, you go first! :)

[jimjazz]

great article. thought provoking and relevant...and may i spread love and light to anyone who is feeling in short supply today.

[timmeyboy]

Ok Positive things about me:
Polite
Caring
Funny
Generous
Good legs
and a great bum - according to Boyf.

Who's next

[mindstar]

I was gymming up to 7 days a week
I had a good body (not great - I've always been too lazy for that)

now I need to find the motivation to exercise to lose some weight *laughs*

ah well ;)
I'm happy and in love :)
and I have my perfect life (just with a few extra kilos...)

[jackie87]

Positive things about me:
clever
artistic
knows a lot of useless trivia
my eye color
nice broad shoulders
my thighs

Negatives could run into the 100000s

[pdunni]

This immediately hit home for me. I am working up a summer regime.

It will continue though.

[austguy]

so true...

[chad_74]

I agree and be the first to admit.I have a bad self image......I keep comparing myself to brad pitt

[jamieavenger]

A friend of mine made an interesting observation once, saying " I don't go for muscle queens - it shows they spend too much time in the gym and not enough time reading!" There's some truth in that I think! Excessive body consciousness is like any other excess - you are hiding from something and not addressing the real causes of your unhappiness.

[bmackey]

I don't understand why some people who obsess and spend hours on getting the perfect body, don't even think twice about what they're wearing.... Is so common its not funny!

[bmackey]

I don't understand why some people who obsess and spend hours on getting the perfect body, don't even think twice about what they're wearing.... Is so common its not funny!

[Stormdata]

If I had a dollar for every good body with no personality and no idea of what a decent shag involves that I have dragged home over the years I wouldn't have to be in the office as I write this....as has been said get out of the gym and into the library...far sexier

[DavidL]

I reckon we can all learn something from the wonderful world of YouTube!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=AI1sG_S8G6s

[Christian Taylor]

without giving away way too much information (one must maintain an air of mystery), i do have to say that i can come up with a pretty good list of positives about myself. have always worked on having that balance...

i remember studying neuro linguistic programming years ago, and one of the things that stayed with me is that the brain doesn't process negative thoughts. if you say to yourself right now "don't think of an elephant" what image pops into your head? an elephant!

so whenever you sit there going "don't smoke", "don't drink" all your brain hears is "smoke", "drink".

so thinking about negatives just reinforces them... and the cycle continues...

anyway, enough pop psychology for one day! some of my positives - am passionate, absolutely loyal, both interested and interesting, broad shoulders, considerate, witty, funny, generous...

did i mention 'modest'?

anyway, at the end of the day, why not focus on your positives? there are enough bastards in the world who are all too ready to point out your negatives...

[timmeyboy]

I Love this thread, it's like that bit in Mean Girls when they all have to apologise to each.
"I don't Hate You Because Your Fat, Your Fat Because I Hate You"

[hawaii60]

very sad really, but so many gay gays work on their bodies but not their minds/personalities....a person with a beautiful body with an ugly mind is to us only as beautiful as his mind...so many underdeveloped people online and in the gay scene with ageist, racist and right wing attitudes, it's no wonder the gay community is dying....

[philandering]

This is an awesome topic for the month!

I have to admit i have succumbed to the pressure to look good. This has been something i have carried with me since i was a tubby teenager and i have always felt that my body needs to be better. Although i realised a long time ago that its more important that i am happy with myself, rather than pleasing others, i still feels that i will be happier if i was more confident with my physique. So i tell myself i'm doing for me but deep down i know at some level, i'm doing it to ultimately impress others...

Positives about me:

Motivated
Ambitious
Intelligent
Tall
Funny
Loyal
Respectful
Outgoing

Negatives = many

[piggles]

Great Thread....good on everyone for finding within themselves things they like and appreciate about themselves.

I would like to pose another side of the same story. From a female perspective I think lesbians suffer from similar issues with their bodies and image. However in the lez community it seems altogether ok to let it all hang out and not care what you look like. If it was because everyone was happy with their looks then i would say - fantastic. But unfortunately this is not the case.

Most women i know are quite over weight, do not look after their self image and still have massive self loathing for their looks.

I think a happy medium would be really nice where some care and attention is taken with appearance and physicality and also some is taken to improve the insides as well.

Things i like about myself:
High IQ
Good body
Ability

[chad_74]

stormdata......whats the diference between a descent shag and a bad one?
they all end up with the same result to me....

[piggles]

Hate to be a little pissy - but there is such a thing as a great looking well groomed person with a great body and a large well used brain that is a good lover...not all pretty people are vacuous that is as much of an oxymoron as expecting every one to fit the 'right" body image.

If we want to try and improve body image lets fix ourselves rather than shit all over everybody......

[Christian Taylor]

this is my favourite out of the 'dear body' series:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9HgzNM_xOE

[Mr J]

I think there is gigantic amounts of pressure to be and look perfect. After all your first impressions (which are hard to shake) are based on what someone looks like. So if someone looks bad when you first meet them you will judge them instantly on their looks and not look at the possible various reasons why they may look bad.

That said I like ... I think everyone suffers from body image issues. I do admit that i have some good traits. For instance I'm empathetic, a good listen, reasonably intelligent, loyal and I have a sense of dignity and honour. And as everyone else has stated i have HEAPS of negatives.

[DeepBlueDreamer]

I sort of have given up on my self as far as looks go...though i do the basic stuff like moisturise so I don't get dry itchy skin, workout if there's free time, hair product to keep my mop in one place and that's pretty much it really.

But saying that, looks form the first impressions in most cases so I think it's understandable there is pressure. It's probably in our genes to be able to attract others.

Positives: good listener...I think, try to be modest, will hug anyone if I think that will make them feel better (as long as there's no BO,) I try my best to help anyone who wants it, oh yeah...I try to keep an open mind and try to understand as many points of views as possible before opening my trap.

Negatives are depressingly numerous...umph :-(