To all of the kick ass, beautiful fierce femmes out there...

[gold_femme]

some kind of amazing right here....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Q7IzwUa_kI

thankyou Ivan Coyote..you made my night/week/life.

x

[ammonite]

i loved it :)

[paxie]

Agree with you gold_femme that is definitely amazing. So wonderfully touching.
Totally loving it, beautiful words

[velvety]

okay.....i must be a sook...when she started crying so did i....that was beautiful....

[djak]

... go Ivan

[gold_femme]

glad y'all appreciate this! I love it all...but definitely love the part where Ivan thanks femmes for coming out of the closet again and again and again....

ive decided that i would just like a small sign at work with a picture of me and 'yes, this woman is a lesbian, really, no doesnt sleep with men at all, yes really a lesbian' ..or perhaps its just a postcard i give to new people that start in the office - so i dont have to sit through all of the 'he's cute, i think he likes you conversations' that force me to awkwardly come out every couple of weeks.


simply, everything Ivan says is true - and this clip almost makes me think i could settle down one day with someone that appreciates me......almost :p

[djak]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv89wbZHzNQ

[gold_femme]

amazing djak thankyou! can you please post a link to this so i can post it on my fbook? its going to make alot of 'those' conversations easier..or not. ;)

[ammonite]

"eating pussy is a form of chivalry without pants"

[gold_femme]

ignore that, found it.
x

[velvety]

glad y'all appreciate this! I love it all...but definitely love the part where Ivan thanks femmes for coming out of the closet again and again and again....

ive decided that i would just like a small sign at work with a picture of me and 'yes, this woman is a lesbian, really, no doesnt sleep with men at all, yes really a lesbian' ..or perhaps its just a postcard i give to new people that start in the office - so i dont have to sit through all of the 'he's cute, i think he likes you conversations' that force me to awkwardly come out every couple of weeks.


simply, everything Ivan says is true - and this clip almost makes me think i could settle down one day with someone that appreciates me......almost :p

i think you should go to one of those make your own buisness card places...so when someone asks you had em your card!!!!

[Hessy]

that made me tear up at the end.

[velvety]

that made me tear up at the end.

Glad i wasnt the only one...i was good until Ivan started...thats when i got all sniffy....

[gold_femme]

oh i started crying about 20 seconds in. useless.

[velvety]

i watched a few of the others too....theyre all pretty awesome...she is one hawt chick....

[Neptune]

Love it, love her (him? not sure what is acceptable..).

[gold_femme]

Love it, love her (him? not sure what is acceptable..).


Ivan seems to be fine with feminine pronouns, but always best to not assume.

http://www.ivanecoyote.com/

[Neptune]

Ivan seems to be fine with feminine pronouns, but always best to not assume.

http://www.ivanecoyote.com/

Never seen or heard Ivan before but will read and watch some more!

[trina2004]

i watched a few of the others too....theyre all pretty awesome...she is one hawt chick....

yeah. that was a great speech and she is sexy.



Ivan seems to be fine with feminine pronouns, but always best to not assume.


so what do you do? ask what pronouns they prefer or avoid pronouns altogether till you know? what's the right thing to do if you're not sure?

[gold_femme]

well it depends on the situation...if you have just been introduced do you need to use pronouns? can you just politely observe?

if you're talking for a bit longer and you really need to know, well ill do anything to avoid asking - just because some people are comfortable discussing this and some are sick of being asked. i guess if you ask politely and dont treat the person like a science experiment its maybe ok. i usually quickly and quietly ask a friend ' how do they identify ' ....

not saying thats the right thing to do, its just what i do.


i also think people overuse pronouns..and statements like 'you ladies' or 'you boys'..if you observe groups for a while you realise how some people make everything about gender. its just not so necessary.

[trina2004]

well it depends on the situation...if you have just been introduced do you need to use pronouns? can you just politely observe?

if you're talking for a bit longer and you really need to know, well ill do anything to avoid asking - just because some people are comfortable discussing this and some are sick of being asked. i guess if you ask politely and dont treat the person like a science experiment its maybe ok. i usually quickly and quietly ask a friend ' how do they identify ' ....

not saying thats the right thing to do, its just what i do.

oh okay I was just wondering.

[gold_femme]

oh yeh, i hope that didnt come across as aggressive hon, didnt mean it that way at all. im watching an argument on gaydar about gender identity..transferred some of my annoyance to here.

you ask anything you want. ;)

[trina2004]

oh yeh, i hope that didnt come across as aggressive hon, didnt mean it that way at all. im watching an argument on gaydar about gender identity..transferred some of my annoyance to here.

you ask anything you want. ;)

no thats okay. I'm a bit out of it tonight. tired. I didnt know gaydar has a chatroom. lol that's how long I used it before I gave up.

[trina2004]

i also think people overuse pronouns..and statements like 'you ladies' or 'you boys'..if you observe groups for a while you realise how some people make everything about gender. its just not so necessary.

I agree with you! but I think to a certain extend its just laziness. much easier to put everyone into little boxes marked M and F, and keep them there. which sucks.

[Neptune]

I agree, not everything needs to be about gender and it's not as though we're still in kindergarten and making everyone get into 'boys' and 'girls' lines (do they still do that btw?) but it's just a feature of the English language, it is difficult to talk about people without using he or she (unless you're constantly using their name or, much worse, "they"). I've known transmen before, and half the people referred to them as "she" and the other half as "he", nobody could really decide. Well until someone comes up with an alternative... I think it would be rude to ask the question directly, until you got to know the person a bit better - until then, is it really your business/a big deal?

[Neptune]

i watched a few of the others too....theyre all pretty awesome...she is one hawt chick....

On that note (Ivan's hotness), does anyone else find their attraction to women kind of "evolves"? When I was younger I liked my women to be women, and didn't like the butch type at all. But some time last year I started to prefer slightly masculine women, and even more recently I'm finding myself attracted to more "butch" women or even those that identify as male. That's not to say I prefer a certain type of women, but my attraction has definitely broadened. Is this typical?

[trina2004]

On that note (Ivan's hotness), does anyone else find their attraction to women kind of "evolves"? When I was younger I liked my women to be women, and didn't like the butch type at all. But some time last year I started to prefer slightly masculine women, and even more recently I'm finding myself attracted to more "butch" women or even those that identify as male. That's not to say I prefer a certain type of women, but my attraction has definitely broadened. Is this typical?

I don't know about typical... the first woman I was ever attracted to (although my ten year old self didn't realise it) was Lucy Lawless. :o

I used to have a Xena action figure as a kid. Don't know what happened to it, think my parents took it off me because I always took her armour off! :D

Since then my 'type' has declared itself to be all over the place! Butch-femme n everything in between n outside of that.

[gold_femme]

Hi Neptune!! Some people do prefer 'they' .. My friends that identify as gender queer don't like he or she.. There's a few variations.

As for hotness.. Definitely evolves!! Although for me I've always had pretty eclectic taste. I do seem to go through phases and suddenly find women attractive that I hadn't considered before. I think alot of it is growing out of social conditioning... Ie The brainwashing we all have that makes us think only skinny feminine women are attractive.

Whatever it is, it's fun. Enjoy!

[Happy to be me]

I use u guys or gals in a friendly way ...But see how it could offend .
I have only been mistaken 4 a guy once in the middle of the outback ai had a hat on but guess the guy thought 2 guys in the middlew of no where made more sense than a husband and wife?

Still it made me feel weird...i'll try to use they more!

And i think she/he is hot too! Kinda Kd - lang ish but more male...

my first crush Trina was Winona Ryder in mermaids i have loved her ever since ....but didnt like the blonde phase she went through!lol! ;)

Lily x

[trina2004]

my first crush Trina was Winona Ryder in mermaids i have loved her ever since ....but didnt like the blonde phase she went through!lol! ;)

Lily x

I like Winona too. but yeah, with dark hair. I like her look from girl interrupted.

[ammonite]

i just use They
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they

it's the most socially excepted gender neutral pronoun
the modern ones are too weird to use in most company - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender-neutral_pronoun

i use He a lot in general conversation without thinking about it though
They is much better

[trina2004]

i just use They
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they

it's the most socially excepted gender neutral pronoun
the modern ones are too weird to use in most company - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender-neutral_pronoun

i use He a lot in general conversation without thinking about it though
They is much better

yeah I've heard of some of them, like zie and zir, but I'd hesitate to use them without knowing if thats what the person in question uses!

[Neptune]

I've never heard of the invented pronouns... imagine breaking out one of those!

They is great in that it's gender neutral, but to me it just sounds strange in the singular... because then you're changing other parts of the sentence.

Like if you're talking about one person:
Does he/she like pizza?
Do they like pizza?

It just seems plural/impersonal/far removed? Guess I'm just not used to it being used in that way.

[Happy to be me]

trina have u seen Reality Bites???
Winona is in that too best movie !
it helped me through my teen years...

Janine garafolo is in it too!

Man i've been in the closet for years!!
WTF did i marry a dude?

Yep girl interupted was great too loved brittany murphy in that!
All those chickens!!

lily x

[Happy to be me]

Hey Neptune!! How r u doing?
Good to see u checking out the sites
hugs x

[Neptune]

All good! Nothing much is happening.. first meet up will be this weekend, then might check out the clubs once I know some people and have someone to go with!

How are you going love?

[sputnik sweetheart]

I always avoid stating 'he' or 'she' unless I hear them address themselves as either.

As a femme I totally related to having to constantly come out everyday! :/

[gold_femme]

I've never heard of the invented pronouns... imagine breaking out one of those!

They is great in that it's gender neutral, but to me it just sounds strange in the singular... because then you're changing other parts of the sentence.

Like if you're talking about one person:
Does he/she like pizza?
Do they like pizza?

It just seems plural/impersonal/far removed? Guess I'm just not used to it being used in that way.


yeh i found 'they' challenging to use at first, i kept asking my friend 'they? who else was there?" like a total grandma.

but now im quite used to it, and you will get there too.

x

[Hessy]

i would classify myself as a lazy femme. :P

[Happy to be me]

All good! Nothing much is happening.. first meet up will be this weekend, then might check out the clubs once I know some people and have someone to go with!

How are you going love?

sorry i missed this babe!
Hope you had fun!!!

i'm well thanks bored but well...

:)

[Miss_Fleur]

Oh I love Ivan Coyote! I get all teary everytime I watch that clip.

I totally avoid pronouns these days too, unless I know for sure what someone prefers.

Do you guys know about Femme Guild in Sydney? And Femme Mafia in Melbourne? They're both on Facebook and are super fab!

Femme love :)

[gold_femme]

went to the femme mafia in melbourne once but wasnt really my cup of tea..the femme front is starting here and will prob be more my thing..i know of the femme guild but it sounds a little mild - is it? im a big fan of the fat femme mafia..although i believe they changed their name recently?

[Miss_Fleur]

went to the femme mafia in melbourne once but wasnt really my cup of tea..the femme front is starting here and will prob be more my thing..i know of the femme guild but it sounds a little mild - is it? im a big fan of the fat femme mafia..although i believe they changed their name recently?

It's funny, a friend of mine said the same thing about Femme Mafia Melbourne. She just wrote an amazing Femme Manifesto :) Glad another group is also starting.

The Fat Femme Front are great, they have a synchronised swimming group!

What do you mean by mild? I love Femme Guild, but then I'm biased ;P

[gold_femme]

tell me more about the guild and correct me for thinking its mild ;)

[Miss_Fleur]

"Femme Guild is a queer feminist collective from Sydney for the promotion of Femme solidarity and visibility.

Femme Guild aims to combat Femme-phobia and Femme invisibility and to celebrate Femme pride."

Femme Guild has regular meetings and gatherings, participates in Mardi Gras and Fair Day, holds super fun parties and is currently planning a Femme Conference.

Check out the website, FemmeGuild dot com.

Really though, I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts about the guild. Feedback can only make things better :)

If you don't want to do so publicly you can always send me a message :)

[gold_femme]

oh constructive feedback? i dont have any of that, just brash opinions based on little to no facts.

its the word guild. reminds me of sewing. im not sure why.

thanks for enlightening me.

the femme front is a new melbourne group - hoping this one takes off and has activities involving hairspray riots and attacking politicians with heavily weighted handbags.


ok im being a shit, im bored. femmes are the best, and im glad to meet another one.

x

[djak]

this is such a hot convo

[velvety]

this is such a hot convo

;-) all femme's are hot Djak

[Miss_Fleur]

the femme front is a new melbourne group - hoping this one takes off and has activities involving hairspray riots and attacking politicians with heavily weighted handbags.

Sounds fabulous! Femmes taking over the world :) Xx

[sputnik sweetheart]

I joined your group miss fleur!

[VladTheImpaler]

it takes something incredible to move me, because i'm intensely cynical, but that clip really moved me.

[gold_femme]

it takes something incredible to move me, because i'm intensely cynical, but that clip really moved me.

purrfect.