Mental Health in Lesbian Women Survey

[SapphireRose]

Found this on Facebook, thought some ladies in here may be interested in doing this ?!?!

"Hi, my wonderful partner is currently completing her Clinical Psychology Masters and is researching mental health in lesbian women (in Australia). I am helping her out by emailing as many people as I can think of to ask them to please complete her survey and to pass it on to any lesbian that they know. The link to her survey is below. If you could please help her out by completing the survey or passing it on I would be very grateful.
Thanks,
Faith"

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/Mental_Health_in_Lesbian_Women

Mental Health in Lesbian Women Survey
www.surveymonkey.com
Dear Participant,My name is Heidi Jansen and I am currently undertaking a Masters of Clinical Psychology at Bond University.You are invited to participate in a study conducted under the supervision of ...

[pho3nixphir3]

done!

[Neptune]

Done, would be interested to see the results!

[pho3nixphir3]

i wonder what all of our stories are? mental health wise, and otherwise. i'm sure a lot of us have gone through things that we haven't shared. not that we should feel obliged to, but maybe we could?

[Minda]

That's a good idea, phoenix.

[trina2004]

don't be shy ladies...

[pho3nixphir3]

ok well, what's your lowest point that you're willing to share?

[Minda]

I don't have a low point as such. It has been more or less consistent over the past five or six years.

[pho3nixphir3]

is that a good or a bad thing? i mean, have you learned to tolerate it, or is it like constantly drowning?

my lowest point was being stuck in a mental hospital for nearly a week, and at one point having to have someone tailing me a minimum of 3 metres away, and watching me whilst i slept.

[trina2004]

I think this thread could become very sad.

Do you think mental health issues are more prevalent in the LGBT community?
I have no official stats to back it up, but personal experience of myself and the LGBT's I know would suggest yes.

[pho3nixphir3]

i think it's hard to say. the LGBT community experiences a lot more abuse and intolerance, and i don't really know how it works, but mental health issues are a condition, not necessarily affected by the outside.

but yeah, i'm sure more of us are troubled with inner turmoil and outward intolerance, and this has manifested in toxic ways =(

[Minda]

That's a very difficult question. I guess now, I actually know what it is, so you'd think it would make it simple to deal with. I think, though, that it's lasted so long that it has become a part of my personality or something. And I'm still hostile to the thought of talking about it, so I refuse to see anyone about it.

I must sound like such a whiny teenager. . .

[pho3nixphir3]

knowing the problem helps, but doesn't necessarily solve. fair enough. if you change your mind, you can talk to me for starters =P

of course not. you should have seen me before, in high school. disgusting.

[Minda]

Nicely played, phoenix. Nicely played. ;O

[cilipadi]

I've done the survey. I had a little giggle about the question that asked whether I felt bad about my drug abuse, and only allowed me to answer yes or no, when I wanted to say N/A.

ok well, what's your lowest point that you're willing to share?

I have had a series of low points. I'm not sure which was the lowest. I hated the whole coming out experience, I found it brutally painful and it led to me developing fairly crippling social anxiety. I still struggle a lot with that. So I didn't much enjoy adolescence.

I think this thread could become very sad.

Do you think mental health issues are more prevalent in the LGBT community?
I have no official stats to back it up, but personal experience of myself and the LGBT's I know would suggest yes.

I am sure that they are more prevalent. I don't really have anything to back this up either, other than anecdote and personal experience. I have a family history of mental illness, so I would probably be susceptible to it no matter what, but I also know that a large amount of my problems with depression and anxiety stem from being gay.

Also, I think that being gay makes it harder to get help and harder to reach out to people - for instance, I remember seeing a counsellor when I was 19, and not daring to tell her that I was a lesbian - so everything I told her was a half-truth, and I left only half-healed.

So I guess I think being gay can cause mental health problems, and it can also exacerbate unrelated mental health problems.

[pho3nixphir3]

yeah, that drug thing kinda confused me.

oh dear =(. i had an ok coming out, never really had too much trouble with that. but i'm not out to my family, so there's that.

yeah! i saw a few counsellors, i only told my recent one i was gay, and vehemently denied it to the others, which probably didn't help them to help me.

definitely. you are wise, cilipadi.

[The Owl]

Not sure but I do have my fair amount of anxiety being gay. I used to like this school girl and we became really close. When I realised that I actually have fallen in love with her, I was very shocked. I didn't have anyone to talk to about my feelings and I ended up distancing myself from her, causing both of us great grief - she still didn't know why I did that in the past. And when I was dating my first, I had to endure a lot of gossips behind my back and pretended that I was straight. I didn't come out to my close friends and family until I was 21. I think the main thing about being gay that's stressful is because it's difficult to find someone to talk to about my problems.

[pho3nixphir3]

oh owl =(. i had that with my first crush. but i was a pine-y puppy, quite gross. do you ever plan on telling her? well you have a whole ladies lounge to talk to now =)

[The Owl]

oh owl =(. i had that with my first crush. but i was a pine-y puppy, quite gross. do you ever plan on telling her? well you have a whole ladies lounge to talk to now =)

Nah! Never...she's still a good friend of mine. We're not as close as in the past but we still talk. She recently came to Melbourne for her honeymoon and stayed with me. What about you? Did you tell your first crush?

[Minda]

I'm in the same boat as Phoenix. My close friends from high school know, and I don't keep it a secret now that I'm out of school, but my family's yet to find out. I just always thought that it was none of their business, and I know they suspect. But I always found the most stressful part of coming out was coming out to myself, not other people.

[pho3nixphir3]

i told her. i wish i hadn't.

it's not a secret, and because of my looks it's *obvious* that i'm a lesbian. to most people. which is fine for me. it really is noones business. i did have inner turmoil- i wanted to keep it a secret to the grave =P

[Minda]

A secret like that is too big to take to the grave. I'm glad you chose against that.

[pho3nixphir3]

i think it kinda exploded out of me. hehe. gay explosion. i'm glad too, i'm pretty comfortable.

[Minda]

gay explosion?

................... that's what she said.

[The Owl]

Ah well...we're all on the same boat........................to recovery!

I think it gets better over time. When I had short and spikey hair, I used to enjoy the attention I get - looking like a lesbian! I get better and better at telling people. There was once when I was talking to this smart-arse colleague. He likes to use the word "so gay" as a negative adjective. And when he asked me if I was attached. I said "yes" and he asked me 'what does "he" do' and I said '"she's" a lawyer'. He was shocked and from then on he was more careful with his words! Heehee

[pho3nixphir3]

minda ;).

aahahaha that's awesome! you go girl =D. urgh i hate people like that. like that douchebag doing my course. what an arsehole.

[Minda]

Phoenix. =O

I am only recently growing a problem with the phrase "that's so gay". Probably because it makes the person who says it look like a moron that the best adjective they can come up with is "gay". In my mind, "gay" connotates rainbows and shiny pants.

[pho3nixphir3]

i don't have a major problem with it, but that guy pissed me off. he was talking about kurt on glee: he's so gay. he's such a faggot. wow, he's so gay. he's so gay.

fucking wanker.

yeah, gay as an insult is really wacked, but i don't take it seriously at all.

[Minda]

Oh my gosh, I love Kurt! And how protective his father gets over him! ^_^

I don't like words like that. "Fag" or "dyke". Unless it's a fellow homo saying it, so it's in good humour.

[pho3nixphir3]

yeah, same with 'chink'.

[Minda]

Or "ranga".

[pho3nixphir3]

i'm going to make a note to be more sensitive from now on =). i mean, it's fine to have a joke, but not if it upsets someone else who doesn't deserve it.

[Minda]

About the word "Ranga"?

Good! As an occasional ranga myself, it hurts sometimes.

=D

[trina2004]

Oh my gosh, I love Kurt! And how protective his father gets over him! ^_^

I don't like words like that. "Fag" or "dyke". Unless it's a fellow homo saying it, so it's in good humour.

I like dyke. If I feel the need to come out to someone, especially in a casual setting, I'll say dyke instead of lesbian.

[SapphireRose]

I thought that considering i put it up i should also do it, so i did. Thanks to the ladies who also did so. This sure has created an interesting thread. Some of the questions or points in said survey were interesting to say the least. As for the drug one, it seemed to go on for a long time.

[pho3nixphir3]

yeah, thanks for that sapphire. i like answering questions. it irritated me. i couldn't select what i wanted to.

[Blue-bird]

Yeah I dont mind 'thats gay' cos my friends and I say it and I know we dont mean it. I dont like dyke or faggot or poofter but almost anything can be offensive when its used derogatively. I dont mind what my friends say or call me cos I know they're cool with it and love me anyway :)

[pho3nixphir3]

i can't see poofter as non threatening, unless its by a gay man jokingly. faggot is also quite aggressive.

[The Owl]

I suppose it depends on the context? Some say it in an obvious joking harmless way. Others are more deliberate.

[cilipadi]

yeah, that drug thing kinda confused me.

oh dear =(. i had an ok coming out, never really had too much trouble with that. but i'm not out to my family, so there's that.

yeah! i saw a few counsellors, i only told my recent one i was gay, and vehemently denied it to the others, which probably didn't help them to help me.

definitely. you are wise, cilipadi.

lol... not wise at all. I have a very mixed-up, muddled-up, messed-up mind. I always think of myself as a defective raggy doll who only got through the quality check because the checkers were a little absent-minded that day.

Raggy dolls, raggy dolls... dolls like you and me... :p

[Minda]

But raggy dolls are so cute! ^.^

[pho3nixphir3]

minda, do you mind ginga ninja?

ginga ninja minda. does have a nice ring.

[Minda]

Any name that incorporates the term "ninja" I love.

[pho3nixphir3]

i hoped so =)

[Minda]

^_^

[noodles]

I definately think gay women have alot more challenges in life, especially if you dont look like a typical lesbian (whatever that may be in other peoples eyes!!) & people u work with ask about your past relationships (or current) I have found myself saying 'he' instead of 'she' or partner ect.., I've gone home hating myself for lying & why didnt I just say who I really was (fear), probably didnt feel like explaining myself or wasnt ready for the whispers or being judged-whatever the case its like a protection blanket.
I used to suffer severe panic attacks almost daily from it & shut myself of from the world, not really understanding why-like I was ashamed of myself.
In my experiences, opening up about being gay can make women uncomfortable & men insecure- dam straight its hard on mental health - pardon the pun
Im going to take the survey if it can help others, Shappire Rose keep us in the loop I hope it helps for better understanding

[bellsforher]

I am concerned with my love of completing surveys. Lol!

I'm too tired right now to go into my exhaustingly long history of mental illness, but I can tell you, it is good to finally see some improvements. it'll take a lifetime probably, but I am so glad you lot didn't have to put up with me as a teenager. Christ I was a mess!

[The Owl]

I am concerned with my love of completing surveys. Lol!

I'm too tired right now to go into my exhaustingly long history of mental illness, but I can tell you, it is good to finally see some improvements. it'll take a lifetime probably, but I am so glad you lot didn't have to put up with me as a teenager. Christ I was a mess!

Don't worry, am sure you're not alone. I reckon being a teen is hard enough but to be a lesbian teen - whoa! :p

[pho3nixphir3]

noodles, there are problems when you look strikingly lesbian too. i understand your fear about honesty. are you out to your workmates now? i'm sorry to hear you had panic attacks and shut yourself off. it is an uncomfortable subject, and it's hard not to act awkward or cause awkwardness in the other party. imo it's easiest to start off on a good note, if you don't act weirdly, they'll be less likely too. but it's hard when the other person feels threatened in some way.

i love surveys too bells! and i'm glad to hear about you improving =)

[munijy]

Oh my gosh, I love Kurt! And how protective his father gets over him! ^_^

I don't like words like that. "Fag" or "dyke". Unless it's a fellow homo saying it, so it's in good humour.

Hm.... Recently, one friend was accusing me (in a joking manner), saying "Oh you're such a lesbian!" I was actually really flattered. I just said, "WOW! You're so sharp! How'd you find out?" :D

Her shocked face was quite amusing and it made my day. :)

[pho3nixphir3]

=D good going!

[Minda]

Hm.... Recently, one friend was accusing me (in a joking manner), saying "Oh you're such a lesbian!" I was actually really flattered. I just said, "WOW! You're so sharp! How'd you find out?" :D

Her shocked face was quite amusing and it made my day. :)

Haha, that's adorable! I love coming out stories like that.

[The Owl]

Hm.... Recently, one friend was accusing me (in a joking manner), saying "Oh you're such a lesbian!" I was actually really flattered. I just said, "WOW! You're so sharp! How'd you find out?" :D

Her shocked face was quite amusing and it made my day. :)

that's really cool! good on you. sometimes by saying it so naturally, people also don't kick up a big fuss about it? :)

[Tatsuya]

I dont know about anyone else, but I never had a problem with my sexuality, except the crazy fucked up nut job gf's, lol.
I'm comfortable with my sexuality in society, but that being said, i dont go out of my way to tell everyone i come across, at work i say "My Partner" to avoid purposly saying 'She' and making them uncomfortable, as well as to avoid lying and saying "He", most people i work with just ended up figuring it out.
my previous job as an auto electrician was harder, working with 16 fully grown rather rough around the edges blokes... they weren't so bad to me, they treated me like one of the guys, but that had it's downfall too, i just had to drink a cup of cerment and take it "like a man", but they were so derogative to my GF at the time (she was short, skinny (not so much now), huge rack, and blond, as well as well.... ditzy blond lol [she cheated on me with a married man, LAWL! go figure])

[bellsforher]

my previous job as an auto electrician was harder, working with 16 fully grown rather rough around the edges blokes... they weren't so bad to me, they treated me like one of the guys, but that had it's downfall too, i just had to drink a cup of cerment and take it "like a man", but they were so derogative to my GF at the time (she was short, skinny (not so much now), huge rack, and blond, as well as well ditzy blond)

Ah, yes. Had that problem with male co-workers in the past too - except for the cement thing :eek:
Obviously because I was a lesbian i was more a bloke than a woman in their eyes and thus became the honourary "man". And then had to endure countless conversations where i'd be expected to objectify women the same as them...and wolf-whistle and so on.....:rolleyes:

[Tatsuya]

Ah, yes. Had that problem with male co-workers in the past too - except for the cement thing :eek:
Obviously because I was a lesbian i was more a bloke than a woman in their eyes and thus became the honourary "man". And then had to endure countless conversations where i'd be expected to objectify women the same as them...and wolf-whistle and so on.....:rolleyes:

it gets a bit much sometimes, and being the really rough neck guys they are, your right, they objectify women, and i felt bad going along with it just to get through work "my woman" comments and etc.

It was a rough industry, and sometimes slanderous comments would be sent my way, but i just had to harden the fuck up, and be quick witted enough to dish it back, or i had no respect in the workshop, it's just one of those things.
the automotive industry is a rough place for a girl...

[bellsforher]

yeah, i admire your guts Tatsuya....what's weird is, the guys I was around at that time were art students! You'd expect more from them, wouldn't you? obviously not. I guess artistic men are just as good at objectifying women as the rest of them.

[noodles]

and the amout of times I've been asked by a guy to have a 3some when you out yourself...really, men can be very silly!!
The cement post = very funny :-)

[noodles]

noodles, there are problems when you look strikingly lesbian too. i understand your fear about honesty. are you out to your workmates now? i'm sorry to hear you had panic attacks and shut yourself off. it is an uncomfortable subject, and it's hard not to act awkward or cause awkwardness in the other party. imo it's easiest to start off on a good note, if you don't act weirdly, they'll be less likely too. but it's hard when the other person feels threatened in some way.

i love surveys too bells! and i'm glad to hear about you improving =)

Hey its all good, gets easier as u get older...I have dropped enough hints at work, you'd have to be short a sandwhich from the picnic basket if the penny didnt drop-great news though I have been offered a plum role which I start next week- feeling great about starting fresh ...:D
Thanks for your post- me thinks your a really nice care bear x

[ammonite]

these studies seem to always find higher levels of mental illness in LGBTs.

it seems too high to be a coincidence.
it could be massive, widespread bias.
or it could be true.

which leads to the chicken and egg type question; are we crazy because we're gay, or gay because we're crazy?

[pho3nixphir3]

good going noodles! =)

if it's down to that noodles, i would have to say i'm gay because i'm crazy, because i'm not crazy because i'm gay.

[Minda]

I've never thought that I'm crazy because I'm gay. Although you can understand why depression and anxiety would be higher amongst LGBT, given the widespread hate, gay bashings, etc.

But I've never made the personal connection between why I'm crazy and who I love. I'm not that kind of crazy that it makes sense.

[bellsforher]

I'm crazy AND gay. Both seperate and beautiful parts of the circle of Bells....I dunno how they connect to each other or if they even do...but I hope not.

[Minda]

Here's some food for thought:

"Studies have shown that heterosexual men and lesbians have different standards for what they consider attractive in women. Lesbians who view themselves with male standards of female beauty may experience lower self-esteem, eating disorders, and higher incidence of depression."

[pho3nixphir3]

so what do you guys find attractive in women? size? weight? hair colour? dear me =(.

reminds me of the study that found lesbians more likely to be overweight, or something?

[wasabii2008]

Here's some food for thought:

"Studies have shown that heterosexual men and lesbians have different standards for what they consider attractive in women. Lesbians who view themselves with male standards of female beauty may experience lower self-esteem, eating disorders, and higher incidence of depression."

gets you thinking ....interesting minda - thanks for throwing that into the mix, it really makes you wonder.

[trina2004]

so what do you guys find attractive in women? size? weight? hair colour? dear me =(.

reminds me of the study that found lesbians more likely to be overweight, or something?

Not the lesbians I know! They're all 'Shanes'.

[Minda]

so what do you guys find attractive in women? size? weight? hair colour? dear me =(.

reminds me of the study that found lesbians more likely to be overweight, or something?

I read a bit about that too. Lesbians who don't comply to the male concept of beauty are less likely to be overly concerned with their weight. Or so the reading implied.

In answer to your other question, I like boyish girls. And I don't know many guys who share my taste, either.

[wasabii2008]

like the androgynous girls?

[trina2004]

so what do you guys find attractive in women? size? weight? hair colour? dear me =(.

reminds me of the study that found lesbians more likely to be overweight, or something?

What's up phoenix?

I like all kinds of women. Femmes, butches, andros, all that. People who fit none of the above.

Curvy girls with something up top;), androgynous girls. Not fussy. lol.

[HNF7781]

Wow, how surprised am I to find Heidi's survey here!
Heidi is my lovely parnter and her survey only takes 15 mins to complete. A summary of the results can be made available to anyone who would like them. The survey is open until August 2011, so it will be a while before any results will be available though.
Please forward the link to any lesbian between the ages of 18 and 100 that you know. It is extremely important that Heidi gets a large sample (over 1000 participants at least) so that the data can be meaningfully interpereted.
If you would be interested in ditributing posters to your local gay and lesbian venues, please send me a message and we will arrange to send them to you.

Thanks again for everyone's support, this research is so important for our community.

Faith :)

[Minda]

like the androgynous girls?

Yeah. It must be the naive side of me, being attracted to women who are obviously gay.

[SapphireRose]

Hi there HNF7781, I came across this survey posted on the profile of my local Born Equal gay/straight support group/alliance page and thought I would share it with the ladies here in the lounge. I hope you get heaps of people to do the survey, I and others here would be interested in the results when they are processed.

[pho3nixphir3]

i gotta say i am fussy =/. i like femmes.

[SapphireRose]

I wouldn't say your fussy Pho. You know what you like, that is good. Just gotta find you a girl now. That could relate to a lot of people here lol. Even me, oh well.

Out in the other world everyone isn't attracted to everyone of the opposite gender, so why should it be so here? We are all individuals with different opinions, experiences, preferences and this is great I believe. How boring would this world be if everyone was the same? I can't even contemplate that.

For me it comes down to labels or a preference for none. However at times they come in handy. I grew up with a label, I have an older brother with disabilities. I was stared at, given weird looks and they wonder why I wouldn't talk to anyone, doh!!! I certainly make up for it now :)

My hope for each and every one of us is that we are able to be ourselves, be happy and find friends and supporters who can let us be us. If by chance we happen to find someone who clicks, great. We all deserve the best.

Just one other thing. Do you hear people out in the other world greeting each other with "Hi my name is.............................and i'm straight." I Haven't. Just food for thought, don't want to start a brawl here lol. Please:):)

[Minda]

i gotta say i am fussy =/. i like femmes.

Somehow I'm not surprised.

[trina2004]

i gotta say i am fussy =/. i like femmes.

aww...:(

lol;)

Nah its not fussiness. You just know what you want. good for you. :)

[cilipadi]

Here's some food for thought:

"Studies have shown that heterosexual men and lesbians have different standards for what they consider attractive in women. Lesbians who view themselves with male standards of female beauty may experience lower self-esteem, eating disorders, and higher incidence of depression."

so what do you guys find attractive in women? size? weight? hair colour? dear me =(.


I guess minda's quote refers more to how women view themselves, rather than what they find attractive in other women. I find the difference between what you like in others and you can't accept in yourself to be quite interesting. I know that I am much harsher on myself than I am on other women. It's as though I have a wide definition of female beauty when it comes to others, but it narrows when it comes to myself.

How about everyone else?

[Blue-bird]

im exactly the same cili. its likei need to be perfect but noone else does. i notice and hate flaws in myself, and notice and adore flaws in others

[cilipadi]

im exactly the same cili. its likei need to be perfect but noone else does. i notice and hate flaws in myself, and notice and adore flaws in others

I like the way you put that :)

[pho3nixphir3]

Somehow I'm not surprised.

is that a bad thing?

and i am kinda glad that i know what i want. but then there's the whole, you can't be looking for a perfect partner if you aren't perfect yourself.

went out with uni friends, and there were couples, i felt so excluded. any of you guys have the same problem?

[trina2004]

went out with uni friends, and there were couples, i felt so excluded. any of you guys have the same problem?

Hmmm not exactly excluded but I get what you mean. It can be frustrating being 'the single person' in a group of couples.

[Tatsuya]

is that a bad thing?

and i am kinda glad that i know what i want. but then there's the whole, you can't be looking for a perfect partner if you aren't perfect yourself.

loving someone isnt always about loving someone who is perfect, but more loving their imperfections perfectly =D

As the the question what i find attractive...

Asians do it for me >.> and the first thing i notice about a person is their eyes, if their eyes captivate me then yeah... lol....

[pho3nixphir3]

very frustrating trina. especially if you're also the odd one out.

asians (y). well eyes are the key to the soul apparently

[VladTheImpaler]

What's up phoenix?

I like all kinds of women. Femmes, butches, andros, all that. People who fit none of the above.

Curvy girls with something up top;), androgynous girls. Not fussy. lol.

Same. I like all kinds of women. Most of all, personality makes the difference for me. Plus, beggers can't be choosers.

Personally, I think I look like shit. My self esteem is completely null and void. Add that to the fact that most people are attracted to confidence and my chances of being found attractive by anyone else are getting slimmer by the day. Catch 22. Ain't life grand?

[cilipadi]

Same. I like all kinds of women. Most of all, personality makes the difference for me. Plus, beggers can't be choosers.

Personally, I think I look like shit. My self esteem is completely null and void. Add that to the fact that most people are attracted to confidence and my chances of being found attractive by anyone else are getting slimmer by the day. Catch 22. Ain't life grand?

I don't know what you look like, but you're very funny, and that's attractive :)

[Minda]

is that a bad thing?

and i am kinda glad that i know what i want. but then there's the whole, you can't be looking for a perfect partner if you aren't perfect yourself.

went out with uni friends, and there were couples, i felt so excluded. any of you guys have the same problem?

Oh, not at all.

I've never heard of that saying before, the needing to be perfect one . I'm not perfect by any means, I still like to think there's someone perfect for me out there.

[pho3nixphir3]

phew =).

it was from a novel. and yeah, i don't believe in the perfect partner, but a perfect match.

[Minda]

phew =).

it was from a novel. and yeah, i don't believe in the perfect partner, but a perfect match.

Most romantics believe in that.

[VladTheImpaler]

I don't know what you look like, but you're very funny, and that's attractive :)

chucks. thanks mate. :P

[cilipadi]

chucks. thanks mate. :P

xD

I tried to make up a thumbs up symbol to do instead of a big grin, but it came out looking vaguely demented and totally out of proportion (see below), so I thought maybe I would stick with the tried and true.

//
@

The @ was supposed to be a fist. Total fail.

And the little sticks were supposed to be further over than the @, but when I post they just go directly above.

[pho3nixphir3]

oh and yes, you are pretty witty vlad =).