Coming out

[Aussie-Asian]

Hey guys

Well, i came out to my friends and now ex gf. just, im too scared to tell my parents. how should i tell them?

[GoodFella]

congrats on taking these 1st steps and i wish you all the best. only you will know what is the right thing to do in your circumstances.

fortunately there are a number of other young guys on here in the same situation as you, it's great that you're reaching out and i hope you find the support to deal with what must be a very tough decision

[ernesto_1]

one more time...

lets all sing it together now

" i take it up the ass sweetheart- deal with it"

[Aussie-Asian]

isnt that a bit harsh?

[badamj2000]

one more time...

lets all sing it together now

" i take it up the ass sweetheart- deal with it"
LOLZ

[GoodFella]

one more time...

lets all sing it together now

" i take it up the ass sweetheart- deal with it"


lol @ ernie's theme song

[simonlau]

let's all come out =)

[bobbyandmimmi]

let's all come out =)

haha I luv ur pic simonalu it always makes me laugh and smile :)

[Marc]

one more time...

lets all sing it together now

" i take it up the ass sweetheart- deal with it"

GAWD Ernie.....you would have to be either the most insensitive and opinionated A-Hole I have encountered here.... or a comedian to rival Joan Rivers.....and only every shut the F**K up to swap feet!

[Marc]

Hey guys

Well, i came out to my friends and now ex gf. just, im too scared to tell my parents. how should i tell them?

Who says you have to? OR are you seeking their approval/acceptance?

[simonlau]

Who says you have to? OR are you seeking their approval/acceptance?

i presume its an asian thing, you need approval on pretty much everything
haha I luv ur pic simonalu it always makes me laugh and smile :)

:p

[ernesto_1]

look. the thing about coming out is like having a baby. u want to do it and u dont want to do it. its like having an exam that u think u might fail.

its like wotever.

instead of "focusing" on it, focus on this: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lzp2sqTmQ4o/TVvAH6gM8CI/AAAAAAAAD_I/hs-tkrLxcRo/s1600/ManuelDeBoxer01.jpg

[ernesto_1]

baby baby baby O

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fwSfkOPuUNo/TVu_NoZKORI/AAAAAAAAD9Y/02kVlRbdSMY/s1600/ManuelDeBoxer15.jpg

[blaah]

Hey guys

Well, i came out to my friends and now ex gf. just, im too scared to tell my parents. how should i tell them?

Take your time. Do you have siblings and have you told them yet?

[simonlau]

ernie are you into bears? you should totally go sircuit last night

[marky markywicz]

Who says you have to? OR are you seeking their approval/acceptance?

My thoughts also :)

[ernesto_1]

simon i cant compete with u... ur too hot and sexy and ull get all the bears

[ernesto_1]

everytime i go to sircuit it is always OLD bears... like 40+ who wear leather pants with their butt cut out. UGH

[ernesto_1]

ets keep an air of mystery shall we..

guys are much hotter when they are mysterious and sexy

[TheOldie]

Hey guys

Well, i came out to my friends and now ex gf. just, im too scared to tell my parents. how should i tell them?

Congratulations.

You come out to them when you think its a good time. You be the judge of that and dont be forced by what others think.

[ernesto_1]

and always remember...

friends are important but it is better to have a million dollars in ur bank account so when the shit hits the fan u can say

fck youzzz bitches fuck youuzzzz...

and escape to santorini... where u'll spend the remainder of ur lfe as a fishersmans help

[Aussie-Asian]

I kinda have a tight net family. and i know that some one is gonna slip and theyll find out and all hell will break loose

[ernesto_1]

then make sure u have a hot ass so that some rice queen down at the sircuit will take pity on ur situation and u can move in with him and u can have hot sweet wonderfuly soul shaking earth shattering sex in his bed


did i mention he will be hung too?

oh that is my fantasy...

carry on

[TheOldie]

I kinda have a tight net family. and i know that some one is gonna slip and theyll find out and all hell will break loose

as in what type of hell ?

will you be kicked out/disowned ?

or just a lot of crying ?

[Aussie-Asian]

Huge possibilty of being kicked out and an even bigger one of being disowned

[ernesto_1]

id love to be disowned..

id love to be kicked out


life isnt one static thing. it is a string of experiences that shapes u and makes u..

u know... when one door closes another opens... as long as ur living and breathing who knows what will happen. and that is half the excitement.

[marky markywicz]

and always remember...

friends are important but it is better to have a million dollars in ur bank account so when the shit hits the fan u can say

fck youzzz bitches fuck youuzzzz...

and escape to santorini... where u'll spend the remainder of ur lfe as a fishersmans help

Wise beyond your years.
You should also be writing film scripts :)
#justsaying

[ernesto_1]

well thats wot i would have done

[ernesto_1]

and i'd throw in the double middle finger too!

[ensign-charlie]

ernie aren't you a massive closet case who lives off his parents?

[trina2004]

Oh! How much fun it must be to entertain the idea of being thrown out of home and sleeping on the streets while one makes plans for his latest international sojourn...Yes, yes, Marie Antoinette was on to something when she said "Let them eat cake."

+10000

[simonlau]

Huge possibilty of being kicked out and an even bigger one of being disowned

so maybe you should wait till you are at least financially independent

[badamj2000]

Yeah, porno scripts...

[marky markywicz]

so maybe you should wait till you are at least financially independent

Yes do think this through young man.
My Nana says... do not cut off your nose to spite your face.

I always wondered if she thought I was that stupid? :(

[ernesto_1]

wow the witch hunt is on me tonight...

[jonteevee]

so maybe you should wait till you are at least financially independent

Agreed. If you do not think they will take it well, wait till you are able to move out

Brave guy coming out at such a young age.

[ernesto_1]

one of my friends came out at 18 and he is doing well with his folks... they have dinner with him and his boyfriend all the time.

[jonteevee]

Tend to think that more traditional asian families are a bit different in relation to coming out. My parents were mortified when I told them. I know plenty of other asian guys who reckon that coming out to their parents would cause a lot of trouble not worth having and would rather that their parents never know.

[Stouey]

Congrats on coming out to your friends Aussie-Asian! I must say at your age, I was still finding out who I was... 10 yrs on from then, i'm only finally ready to come out, partly because of confusion when I got to uni, but moreso financial independence and the fear of being kicked out of the home just like you. As some people may have read in another forum, I plan on telling my parents in just a months time to make sure I have all my backups. So thats where I'm at...

But essentially, think out how it all might affect you if you come out, what scenario's may play out etc, also take the time to see how they feel about the issue, if they're fully opposed to it. I'm sure theres many more angles that you could analyse it.

My point being (as what most people have said) is do it in your own time and when you're ready to face the 'potential' consequences that come with it. You have my support if you're ready to do it now though buddy! As jonteevee put it, "Brave guy..."

[Marc]

wow the witch hunt is on me tonight...

That's because you are the most idiotic person posting on here perhaps with a mindset even younger than the poor bugger who started this post. At 15, in a cultural bind I'd suggest he needs a bit more than your social tourettes induced quips trying to be funny!

Fair go Ernie, at 15 there probably isn't too many places he can go to either ask questions, vent his pain, or gain some sense of community.
Naturally you don't have the same needs, yours appears to be the sort that attempts to show how witty you are- attention seeking me thinks.

[ernesto_1]

marc,

u are so patronizing in offering him the blah blah blah kind of support that is nice to read but wont go down shit with his parents.

If I was 15, I'd probably find comfort in what you have to say, but as a result, I would feel even more worried because you make it sound like such a big deal. What Im doing is giving this person some perspective.

That there are other choices he can make. He should have this authority and control that I am empowering him with. This fuck you attitude, this arrogance, this protective thick skin that will get him through life way more effective that your flakey advice.

I make it sound like its funny for a reason... because I refuse to believe you "have" to respond in one way. You can say ... you know what... fuck you... if you don't want to make it work, fine. Im not the one with a problem. Coz being fucked feels soo good.

[ernesto_1]

ernie aren't you a massive closet case who lives off his parents?

ensign charlie... arent you a massive lesbian with tendencies to stick ginormous ufo's up urself late at night?


if you know nothing about me...don't say anything. Because I am quite capable of making things up about you that sound just as true.

[ernesto_1]

+10000

trina still holds a major grudge against me. but thats just how she is. bitter.

[Phazz]

ernesto, my only advice is before you post something. Read it 3 times and imagine if someone was replying to you with what you have written. If you think it's ok, then click post reply. I'm sure the response you get from other forum members will be less hostile.

[ernesto_1]

phazz u should tell this to marc trina and ensign charlie because their posts are just plain rude.

[badamj2000]

Oh Ernie is a good guy. He is amusing and quite harmless and well mannered in real life. Not like me....:) I enjoy his glib irreverence and youthful playfulness. No animals were ever hurt. His 'over-confidence' and sluttyness can even be made permissible if it is considered as a clever ruse, a protective mask through which he can explore his sexuality with a sense of equality/empowerment. OR some shit.

Oh yeah and he is like OMG like sooo dizzy. Bless

[ernesto_1]

like i said before... JAYTEE was a MAJOR hater... he was like about to cut my head off after the whole 357 access scandal that rocked same same last yr or something...

and then we exchanged numbers and because best buddies. and we even had an hour long gurl talk over da phone. now that he has dissapeared without a trace.. but

my point is. I only speak zee truth.
it comes out of my head so fast it doesnt have that filter... and u know wot.. u should be appreciative of it because who told the truth since they invented cyber sex?

[badamj2000]

OMG, dont let the truth get in the way of good story dear.:)

[Marc]

marc,

u are so patronizing in offering him the blah blah blah kind of support that is nice to read but wont go down shit with his parents.

MEH I don't give a shit about his parents! HONESTLY I don't. I do however give a shit about a 15 year old who is dealing with it all. Patronising I am not. If he hasn't got the confidence, the support, the plan B when it all turns to shit then I advise he keeps his mouth shut till he does. If he hasn't reached an emotional point where he can give his family the "bird" as he walks out the door and knows for a certainty he can live happily without them, then the issue isn't his family's...it's his!

As you so eloquently put it in a later post:

"my point is. I only speak zee truth.
it comes out of my head so fast it doesnt have that filter... and u know wot.. u should be appreciative of it because who told the truth since they invented cyber sex?"

I would hardly call what you say truth....opinion (like my own).

The fact you recognise "that filter" but choose not to use it irritates the fuck out of me. I deal with people in my job...pumping themselves with Xanax, Lexapro, Risperdal and christ knows a pharmacy of shit, because they're an emotional wreck and they haven't reach 20 years old yet!

By all means be funny .... I love it ....truly I do.... but how about stopping for a brief moment and thinking before you take one foot out of your mouth and put the other back in.

[peter888]

Huge possibilty of being kicked out and an even bigger one of being disowned
You may want to consider that some of your family already know (or suspect) you're gay.

Watch Ang (Brokeback Mountain) Lee's "The Wedding Banquet", for example.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1iQtp-Y2cE

http://miff.com.au/60_years_of_miff/film_archive?movieid=20271

[ernesto_1]

oh peeps meet me in real life and they LOVE me... life of the pAArty

[ernesto_1]

lsiten to peter he and his asian boyfriend have been together for 80 yrs... he knows a thing or 2

[wozzdogger]

oh peeps meet me in real life and they LOVE me... life of the pAArty

HA! who??? I dont like to speak on behalf of others, but im not the only one who cannot stand your presence in the real world.

ensign charlie... arent you a massive lesbian with tendencies to stick ginormous ufo's up urself late at night?


if you know nothing about me...don't say anything. Because I am quite capable of making things up about you that sound just as true.

- you just keep getting more and more pathetic ernie.

I make it sound like its funny for a reason

- I am yet to laugh at something you've said.

[ernesto_1]

its halarious that wozz doesnt like to speak on behalf of others yet he does it in the same sentence

and it is way more clear that he hasnt gotten over me,,, which i think is creepy

[Marc]

So Ernie, let's do coffee, and can we invite our angst ridden 15 year old, my shout.

[ernesto_1]

i dont think he'd like to travel 2 hours to melbourne just to witness a bust up with lots of bitch slapping and hair pulling outside maccas on elizabeth st

[wozzdogger]

and it is way more clear that he hasnt gotten over me,,, which i think is creepy

- wot was i supposed to get over? your lack of holding a 'normal' conversation? or your retarded ears?

the only thing thats creepy, is your new avatar.

[ernesto_1]

ben marshy says ur too serious n he doesnt hang with u now.. i said i totally agree

[wozzdogger]

we havent hung out for months. soo you're making up shit.. again. hes a good guy though, you're not, thats why we dont hang out.

[ernesto_1]

we havent hung out for months. .


and i wonder why? its clear that people cant stand u as well.... so dont try to dish it out when the exact same applies to you.

[wozzdogger]

cos we both have lives and are busy durr. we have jobs, or study for a living and werent given a credit card to live our lives off of. un like yourself.

I had said a little while back that i was over this shit, n would let u be, but you continue to put other same samers down, just cos your a pathetic little twat with no life outside of here or the saunas, and for some fucked up reason you get a thrill out of sharing stupid selfless drivel about NOTHING important. get a life man, your fuckin scum... im out.

[ernesto_1]

i love how u say i put others down and in the same sentence call me a twat and scum?

again, u have this huge habit of contridicting urself and u dont even notice it.

dont ever talk to me. i wash my hands of u

[wozzdogger]

washed my hands of you a very fuckin long time ago champ.

[badamj2000]

OMG, drama!!!

[simonlau]

oh dear...

[ernesto_1]

see wot happens when u guys leave... all hell breaks loose!

[badamj2000]

OMG Ernie broke SS!!!

[Irene]

Before giving Aussie-Asian any advice maybe you should all be aware of his age and try to remember how you felt at that time in your lives.
Yeah, at 14 I wouldn't really bother telling them yet. If you were 18 or 19 and finished school, it would be different. In the meantime, you need the family. Why the urgency to tell them? If you were straight, you wouldn't say to them "hey, guess what? I'm straight" would you? So why bother telling them you're gay? Leave it for a few years.

[Irene]

ensign charlie... arent you a massive lesbian with tendencies to stick ginormous ufo's up urself late at night?


if you know nothing about me...don't say anything. Because I am quite capable of making things up about you that sound just as true.

Except that it doesn't sound true. Coz ensign-charlie is a guy.

[ensign-charlie]

Except that it doesn't sound true. Coz ensign-charlie is a guy.

also, what's he talking about "late at night"? I do that constantly. duh.

[marky markywicz]

Oh Ernie is a good guy. He is amusing and quite harmless and well mannered in real life. Not like me....:) I enjoy his glib irreverence and youthful playfulness. No animals were ever hurt. His 'over-confidence' and sluttyness can even be made permissible if it is considered as a clever ruse, a protective mask through which he can explore his sexuality with a sense of equality/empowerment. OR some shit.

Oh yeah and he is like OMG like sooo dizzy. Bless

He's a little cunt.... but Nanas can't help love him. :o

[marky markywicz]

OMG, then Nana and I read the punch-up and were horrified.

Best not bring personal grievances into the forum.

I am sorry you both cannot get over the fact that things did not work out between you , accept it and move on.
Don't allow that pain to be destructive.
At the moment it's more self destructive.

[badamj2000]

I came-out once....

[flounder]

Im speachless :eek:

[badamj2000]

:)

[simonlau]

sorry i know ernie would be mad at me if i bump this up.
but it feels so different when i read your fight now since i know you in real life.

=O

it feels.....so real.................

[ernesto_1]

dont u just love it. i totally think i should be a star on tv. a reality tv show all about me.

[simonlau]

totally, lol. I love drama queens

[Tosca]

can we get back on track please?

i came out when i was 14 and i was MAJORLY stressing about it, but then it was just like "omg anticlimax much?"
if they dont like it, tell them that who you sleep with or actually probably dont sleep with isnt really their business. is their (presumed) reaction because they want grandkids?
ma was a bit disappointed when i came out coz it might meant she wouldnt get more grandkids other than my older sisters kids, but i dont want kids anyway (mental health n stuff) and she didnt really mind. but she german so i dont really know how much that would apply to your family.
#notsurewhatimreallysayingbuthopingithelps

[ernesto_1]

and i wonder why? its clear that people cant stand u as well.... so dont try to dish it out when the exact same applies to you.

oh god I was such a bitch :(

[rodneyw]

Dont know what the OP ended up doing, but I hope he does not regret it if he has taken the advice to come out to his parents. You are far too young to flee or be tossed out of the coop.

[ernesto_1]

nah im sure his parents wouldnt disown him. would be too cruel

[Stouey]

I hope his parents didn't disown him. It can be very hard telling asian parents (let alone parents in general) particularly if they're very traditional. To this day having come out to my parents, I don't think I've ever really spoke about the whole thing since, nor have they brought up anything about getting a gf etc... (mind you we still talk much like before)

[Brad_Woodford]

Dont know what the OP ended up doing, but I hope he does not regret it if he has taken the advice to come out to his parents. You are far too young to flee or be tossed out of the coop.

To be entirely honest with you, I wouldnt be surprised if he saw the hissy fit between Wozdogger and Ernie, and that itself was enough to turn him heterosexual, and therefore he no longer needs the advice he was once seeking. :p

[Meow]

one more time...

lets all sing it together now

" i take it up the ass sweetheart- deal with it"

YES.

[ernesto_1]

ugh this thread wasn't my finest hour

[marky markywicz]

ugh this thread wasn't my finest hour

My Nana said she thought the Devil got into you.

I think she was right.

http://www.styleofeye.com/images/sexy-horny-devil1.jpg

[wozzdogger]

My Nana said she thought the Devil got into you.

I think she was right.



hope it used protection :P

[marky markywicz]

hope it used protection :P

Now now Mr Wozz, we don't want to re-ignite or fuel the passion :rolleyes:
My Nana would always say in instances like this.... let sleeping doggies lie. :)

[ernesto_1]

marky u just don't get it no matter how nice I am it is never enough! He never accepts my apologies !

[wozzdogger]

it was a joke, clearly people lack a sense of humour... and they weren't apologies ernesto, if you were somewhat intelligent you would have apologised like a normal person and not write fifty posts on a public forrum embarrassin the shit out of me...

[ernesto_1]

I'll meet u outsides camberwell train station tomorrow at 2pm. I'll be there from 2 -2.15. If u come it means apology accepted. If you don't... Well I gave it a shot.

[wozzdogger]

I have no intention in meeting up with you... what I'm gettin at, if you had Pm'd me an apology a long time ago instead of what you did, then it would have been accepted and done with, I don't want an apology now, all I want you to do is learn from your mistakes and get on with your life.

[ernesto_1]

thanks for ruining my never been kissed ending!!

[Brad_Woodford]

You are probably just best to leave it, and move forward Ernesto. Start a new page so to speak.

[littleripple]

Aussie-Asian... If you think your parents aren't going to react well, wait until you're older and have more control over your own life and less reliance on them... that is, unless you like walking tight ropes.

If you're worried someone will let slip and your parents will find out, then just be mentally prepared for that scenario.

Even if it does happen, your parents might choose to ignore it (common Asian thing). Or if it's that bad, you could just deny it. I mean, whoever lets slip isn't exactly going to have photographic evidence of you being gay are they?

If you choose to tell your parents now anyway, try to put yourself in their shoes when choosing what to say. Also, factor in their ignorance and the fact that their understanding of what gay means is probably skewed by the stereotypes surrounding homosexuality.

Good luck anyway... let us know how it goes.