View Full Version : Dirty 30 Or Mellow With Age?
15th May 2007, 06:26 PM
I had a little chuckle to myself when i read on a different forum thread a younger member talking about monogamy, and how a lot of young guys think about playing the field when they're younger and settling down with the one boyfriend later.
And I thought...
I mean, I remember having similar thoughts, but now I'm in my thirties I haven't exactly noticed a huge amount of guys changing their behaviour and settling down with "the one" - in fact, I think it's often more the opposite!
What do youse think??
15th May 2007, 08:16 PM
when i was younger i was sure i was going to meet mr right and be happy forever.. now im just a jaded old queen
i used to also tell people i wouldnt never date anyone who had slept with more than 10 people
in my old age im currently sitting somewhere in the 300-400's ( at a guess )..
does this count as "fucking anything that moves" cheetah?
16th May 2007, 12:40 PM
Dirty 30! (with a bf! :))
When I was younger and had bf's we never thought of playing the field and thought that guys who did had no idea.
Well how things change. Graham and I have been together for 5 1/2 years and don't mind the occasional "play" with other boys. Its really simple - its all about trust and communication!
We actually know quite a few guys who have "settled" down or who are in relationships - that said I think everyone of us had has major ups and downs over the years. There is no "gay relationship" handbook!
16th May 2007, 04:38 PM
The Dirty 30s!, Sounbds like a great name for a queer rock band.
16th May 2007, 06:32 PM
Yeah I was thinking that Adrian, or maybe a gay mag for the thirty plus!
19th May 2007, 09:51 AM
does this count as "fucking anything that moves" cheetah?[/QUOTE]
Sorry for the delay, I haven't been reading all of the forums much lately but I guess it all depends on your perspective Hazy... for you, I'm guessing that you wouldn't see it as that but for me, yes it would.
But you knew that already didn't you ;)
19th May 2007, 10:35 AM
But to answer this thread, I'm definitely in the mellow with age category.
Having done the 'fuck anything that moves' thing (see Hazy, I have been there too!) when I was younger, i found myself making lots of stupid choices and one day I looked around at the friends I had, the people in my life and my life in general and I realised I did not like much of it. After all, who would like the nickname "Homewrecker 1" (my best friend was HW 2). Also, I found my friends were mostly a bunch of bitchy queens who had no aim or goals in life other than getting to the next weekend and fucking new boy. I didn't want to be that person so I decided to change the way I dealt with people and the type of person I would attract, moved to Sydney and haven't looked back.
I think back to how unhappy I was at the time and how after every shag I would be left feeling empty and unfulfilled.
Compared to my life now, I wouldn't change a thing!
19th May 2007, 04:50 PM
you moved to sydney to get away from bitchy queens that had no aims or goals in life?
seriously tho, good for you..
but just understand that not everyone is going to find forfillment from shacking up and going the mog..
20th May 2007, 07:13 AM
When I first came out (at 30) one of the things which surprised me was how different attitudes were about sex and relationships. Things which were unthinkable in the "straight world" were discussed at dinner parties. Several years on, I am more comfortable with my sexuality but still easily shocked. Perhaps gay guys are just more honest about their relationships than the straight world?
I think that everyone lies. Younger guys lie to themselves that they are just playing the field before they get too old. Older guys lie to themselves when they say that it is all about trust and communication, and everyone lies on their gaydar profile.
As gay men we like the chase, and I don't think anyone likes the idea of settling.
A friend said he wants to meet
a man who had a dirty mind and a sexy lover
a man who is his best friend,
a man who he can take home to meet the parents,
a man who will laugh at his jokes, and
a man who has a spark in his eyes
And........ lets hope that none of them meet each other!
21st May 2007, 12:37 AM
In my late teens and early twenties, I was involved in two LTRs. One lasted for eight years, one for seven. Each of which I was convinced was "The One". Both relationships ended because each of us changed so much in the time that we were together, that we were no longer compatible. I'm 31 now, and still feel that I'm still very much looking for the man I'm meant to be with. As we mature, we get to know ourselves and without knowing ourselves, we cannot possible love ourselves. If you don't love yourself, you are looking for someone to fill that hole in your heart. It's like one half looking for the other half to complete the equation and thus, have a great relationship. Doesn't work.
For me, at least, it has just begun that I love myself without reservation and don't feel that without that I have much to offer another man. This kind of spiritual development comes with age. For me, the time is about right. I learned a lot from my previous relationships, mostly that I wasn't ready to fully open my heart to them or myself.
21st May 2007, 07:57 PM
i would love to meet the right guy..
i just dont think im ready yet.. and i have yet to meet mr right.. ( ive met a few mr wrongs )
so until then im quite happy being myself and enjoying myself..
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