Straight Girls

[sTaRiA]

Ok have had my lil dummy spit and am now determined to make a real go of this forum!

So... Some of my straight friends who KNOW I am gay seem to deliberately flirt with me or make suggestive comments (one even kissed me!) even though they have no intent of ever following through!.. What is with that? Do they just want to feel sexy? Is it because its such a tabboo subject or what?

Does this happen to everyone else?

[billyg]

Ok have had my lil dummy spit and am now determined to make a real go of this forum!

So... Some of my straight friends who KNOW I am gay seem to deliberately flirt with me or make suggestive comments (one even kissed me!) even though they have no intent of ever following through!.. What is with that? Do they just want to feel sexy? Is it because its such a tabboo subject or what?

Does this happen to everyone else?

Yep Sis.....it's a combination of forbidden fruit and the old 'what's it like???' and because you're a friend they see it as a safe place to play and fiddle round the edges.....
Mind you....would be nice if they were just up front about it....
I've had it happen and they're not even sure what team I bat for:confused:

[velvety]

Hey staria, I would say i have the opposite to you, i know a large group of lesbian girls and though we are all in relationships and our partners are there, we all hang off each other! Then, when it comes to straight girls they wont go anywhere near me!!

Maybe your friends think because your a lesbian its okay to be alittle bit more " touchy" with you, ie like hugs, kisses and flirting. Most straight girls hate other women touching them, but maybe because your there friend and comfortable with you and your a lesbian its okay to show you affection that otherwise they wouldnt show anyone else??

What i never understood is why when you come out to them, they say " Thats great but dont hit on me im straight" ( or variations of this sentence) and your all like ewwwwing and stuff cause your like " if i thought you were hot, and my type and gay im sure id have done it years ago"

[sTaRiA]

Argh!!! Exactly!!! And do they think they're that irrisistable that of course we would want them?! I dont know how many times I've had to explain 'Just because your a girl and I'm a girl doesnt mean I'm atttracted to you. Are you attracted to every guy you see?!' And then they're like 'Ohhhh well when you put it like that...' DUH! One girl at work totally freaked when I came out to the point where I was making a sandwhich next to her and she snapped 'Can you get any closer to me?!' Its funny though, now that she's realised I dont want her body she's one of the most supportive friends I have! She even brought me a showbag from 'Sexpo' with magazines, DVDs and Vibrators in it!

[Jody Ekert]

I love it when you explain you're not interested THEN they get all miffed and want you to be interested. I had a roommate who was scared I hit on her, when I gave her the "I'm not attracted" line she then became the sauciest minx in town - getting undressed around me, flirting with me in the bars, carrying on and putting in a tonne of effort to look good.

And I mean, seriously there is only so much of that you can take before perhaps being a little curious and then pinning her against the nightclub wall. Or maybe, that was just me and her. Funny. Became great friends after it was all said and done.

[sTaRiA]

And I mean, seriously there is only so much of that you can take before perhaps being a little curious and then pinning her against the nightclub wall.

Ha Ha! Very valid point Jodes :)

[dreadcircus]

LOL love this thread. I remember being @ Arq one night and watching a bunch of str8 girls kissing each other in front of a group of hooting str8 males and wanting to vomit. Later that night I ended up in the toilet like you do to pee and upon re-applying makeup a few of the girls where at the sink when one of them turned and said "Wow are you a tranny, thats so cool they let your kind in here".................................

Erm I swear I wanted to wipe her face across the wall but then that would only damage my nails. I think its funny looking back :)

Also this year when my band toured Melbourne I had broken up with my partner 2 months before and certainly was not looking for a girl. Well I may not have been looking for a girl but it seems there were a few hunting me since my break up. So at one of our gigs a girl came along to the soundcheck watching us set up. When we finished she came over and asked if I wanted a drink. I looked at her and thought she seemed familiar. Well she sure was familiar. When I was 20 in my previous incarnation of the gross male form playing in bands this girl used to come to our shows. Now this is like 16 years on and I'm now a female and she actually remembered me. total spin out I can tell you. The story thickens here also. Back in the day I remember heaps of my friends telling me that she was "into" me. Hell I thought she was hot and out of my league and my mates were stirring as usual.

As it now turns out my friends were not bullshitting and she was actually infatuated with me for many years. She had heard I changed gender and saw I was in town so she thought she'd catch up. By this time she has had a baby girl and is now split from the partner. So we had a drink which lead to another 4 when out of the blue she tells me she wants to sleep with me. Ok so this is pretty cool, but she is str8, never been with a girl let alone a transsexual woman. Well not long after we hooked up and the deed was done...

I ended up spending the entire time on tour staying at her house with her awesome daughter
and it was great. We were never going to date it was more a case of old friends catching up and finally breaking through many years of attraction. I have to admit it was hot! and I'm glad to be her first girl. We keep in contact often also.

To this day I'm still blown away by these events as most girls in the lesbian scene still think of trans women as men and I'm far from that. But to score a hot blonde str8 girl totally rocks my world. Wish there were more who were more adventurous. LOL

[velvety]

Wow Dread great story! Would have love to have seen you deck the barbie!!!!

My partner also used to have dramas with one of her straight girlfriends because everytime they went out together, they were mistaken for a couple....which the straight girl used to hate because she was trying to pick up and my partner would be offended cause she would be like " man ive got more taste than that!"

[sTaRiA]

Thats an awesome story Jade!!!

But damn I wish u had of given that bitch in the toilets a belting!!

And I dont know about anyone else but I sure as hell dont think of you as male, Nothing about you comes off as masculine to me. You were obviously meant to be born female.

[sTaRiA]

Last night I think I got hit up for a threesome by a girl I work with and her long term boyfiriend. Have always thought she was GORGEOUS and just an all round top chick and have thought about it with her... But shes quite straight I think and its probably just a fantasy of theirs... a curiosity thing I guess. Gawd I would love to sleep with her... but to haave him to get to her... Jesus I think thats a little extreme right?

[BonkersLuvvyBonkers]

Jade sweetie I'm so pleased the "old flame" so to speak turned out well. You never know unless you're willing to live a little, hey???

Last Friday I was out the back @ work having a smoke break with a new gal from work who persists in telling me the ins and outs of her love and sex life (truly, I've known her all of five seconds...there's just some stuff I don't want to know). The only way I could get her to shut up was by turning the tables and confiding something about myself for once. She was bemoaning her latest date and how she was trying to work out whether it was right of him to pay, when I mentioned I had dated guys and girls, and that I like to pay for myself, because it retains my sense of power in the balance.

She garbled something about not minding being paid for, then quizzed "So are you Bi or something?" to which I replied yes. Time for smoke break to end, as we walked back to the office she casually mentioned a friend of her was bi and that she had wondered about herself sometimes.

Now, this is one fine looking lassie, but (1) she's my workmate and (2) she's my workmate. I don't care about what anyone says, I don't do workplace romance, it's messy in my opinion. And aside from anything else I don't find her personality overly attractive. However, today at work she not only would Not Look Me in the Eye, but studiously avoided going on smokebreaks with me. So who is the stinking rotten ugly bi-woman now, that's what my head told me she's thinking, and what's more that I'm AFTER her. I chose to tell her to test her out as well....I haven't openly told my other workmates my sexual orientation, figuring it has nothing to do with my work, and that they don't go announcing that they're straight, so why should I? My inkling is telling me that this chick won't be able to contain herself and will spill the beans, which I don't give two hoots about.

I do however, care enough for her not to feel uncomfortable around me. Cos it's when I see people like her that I'm reminded of myself as I was 15 years ago, before I came out.

That there closet is a dark and lonely place. I ain't never stepping foot back in it again. I guess I should be decent about the whole thing and treat her with the same kindness I had hoped to be treated with (and was not always!!!).

[gold_femme]

sTaRia im sooooo glad u posted this.. straight girls have confused me for many years..i think im ok with it, i think i get it and then it all gets weird again.

i think that straight girls like flirting with me and hanging off me cos they get to express the sexual side of themselves without it really leading to anything - cos they 'trust' me.

sometimes its really hard to deal with, like now when im single and i have a couple of girls that i work with that are actually quite hot, but i would never be with them - they get all weird and jealous of each other about me. they're extremely touchy and feely and always tell me how hot and pretty i am etc etc. its ok but a girl can only take so much!

ive questioned myself alot over this - is it because im a femme? is it because im a pushover? etc etc...but i think a part of it is that im approachable and my general nature is to try to make people around me feel good about themselves ..

so sTaRia - i think you're probably a great chick and straight girls cant help but want to be around you - good or bad you most likely have a star quality that is extremely attractive to all :) now use your powers for good - not evil!

[velvety]

Depends on what sorta person you are and weather you could stomach having him too...as much as she would be extreemly hot...i couldnt do it...i couldnt go there...ooo maybe we should start a thread like the boi's for all the hot chicks!!!!

[sTaRiA]

Awwww :) Thanks Gold_Femme! You made my day!!

And Velvety! Thats a great idea!

[velvety]

ive never started a thread so...here i go!

[trina2004]

I love this thread. I've only recently come out to most of my friends, and I've been down to Syd maybe 3 or 4 time total so far. (I'm from the central west).

I seem to get all the str8 girls coming over all butch on me. I mean, I'll be chattin to one, she'll tell me she's str8 and I'll tell her I'm gay, then we'll dance together and they shoo away any boys that come near. I guess its probably cause I'm a bit shy and not used to the constant groping that seems to happen on Ox St, but everytime one of them tells a guy to fuck off cause i'm with her, I get a little crush. :-)
and then I'm sad cause they go home to their boyfriend.

and yeah, I've had the "don't worry I'm not into you" conversation with almost all of my girl friends.

[sTaRiA]

I love this thread. I've only recently come out to most of my friends, and I've been down to Syd maybe 3 or 4 time total so far. (I'm from the central west).

I seem to get all the str8 girls coming over all butch on me. I mean, I'll be chattin to one, she'll tell me she's str8 and I'll tell her I'm gay, then we'll dance together and they shoo away any boys that come near. I guess its probably cause I'm a bit shy and not used to the constant groping that seems to happen on Ox St, but everytime one of them tells a guy to fuck off cause i'm with her, I get a little crush. :-)
and then I'm sad cause they go home to their boyfriend.

and yeah, I've had the "don't worry I'm not into you" conversation with almost all of my girl friends.

I hear ya sweetheart. This girl was allll over me just tonight and went home with some guy. And its a bit low really. I mean who do they they think they are leading us on all night and going home with a man?!... and I honesty dont think I could do the whole threesome thing and be with a guy just to get close to a girl...

[velvety]

Welcome trina first!!!!


I'll be chattin to one, she'll tell me she's str8 and I'll tell her I'm gay, then we'll dance together and they shoo away any boys that come near...... Maybe they see the need to protect you from the boys since your gay??? I went out with a group of straight guys and gals to a dumb hetro night club and the gay guy and i pal up cause its like a ill protect you...and you can protect me...

Maybe they're not intentionally leading you on as i said before they might just be " touchy" sorta chicks after a few beers and think cause your gay its okay....( mind you when i told a few of mine i was gay i got the total opposite...) I agree though, it is a tad low to lead a chick on that you know is gay then go home with a bloke....If you have a enough guts...and you see her leaving with the bloke go up and say " Just curious as to why your leaving with him when clearly you have been hitting on me all night" then at least you will know the answer!!!

Ewww no...couldnt do the threesome thing.....not unless there was like three women and one man....he could play with the other chicks all he likes...just keep yer wang away from me...im a sharing sorta chick.......

[sTaRiA]

Ewww no...couldnt do the threesome thing.....not unless there was like three women and one man....he could play with the other chicks all he likes...just keep yer wang away from me...im a sharing sorta chick.......

LMAO!!!

I love the word 'wang' cracks me up!!! :D

Got hit up for a threesome on Thursday night. Never one on one, always a bloody threesome! Why?! Maybe I just look like the threesome type. I aint gonna go touchin some nasty ol sausage just to get to the taco!

[velvety]

i wouldnt either....there such nasty lookin thangs too...( sorry guys but they are!!! I dont have anything against ya...) As i said though i would do a threesome/foursome and a man...as long as he knew not to touch me and i wouldnt him....If the man wasnt there would be better but i feel id be asking to much :P Damn hetro men always get in the way....

[trina2004]

I hear ya sweetheart. This girl was allll over me just tonight and went home with some guy. And its a bit low really. I mean who do they they think they are leading us on all night and going home with a man?!... and I honesty dont think I could do the whole threesome thing and be with a guy just to get close to a girl...
no, me neither. I love my male friends, but the idea of having sex with them...eww. it'd be even worse with some random.

Yep, its low. oh well, stuff happens. I'm not losing hope;)

[hurricane]

I have a friend exactly like this. It's always "if I was into girls you'd totally be the only girl I'd sleep with" or "let's get drunk and make out". Then she turns around and assures me she's straight. Is it just an attention thing or what?

[trina2004]

I don't know...I think its they trust you, like you, and also like attention. So you're a safer option because they know you wouldn't take advantage.

What do I know tho, it happens to me too.

[sydney_guy83]

grrr...there's this chic in our group that TOTALLY flirts with a lesbian in our group...

...when she gets flirty back, straight chic acts shocked and gets annoyed that she keeps on coming after her because she's straight and it makes her uncomfortable

sooo annoying, i want my friend to get hot girl action!

[sTaRiA]

Ever since Lindsay and Jess made it cool to be a lesbian, my gaydar is totally out of wack. I can never tell whos genuine and who just thinks its in to make out with a chick. I give up...

[trina2004]

Ever since Lindsay and Jess made it cool to be a lesbian, my gaydar is totally out of wack. I can never tell whos genuine and who just thinks its in to make out with a chick. I give up...
I don't even have gaydar..its unfortunate. I spent three hours stuck on the train with the girl of my dreams and in all that time, and in all the times we've chatted at uni and stuff, never picked up that she was gay until the moment her girlfriend came up and grabbed her hand.
*sigh*
:-)

[sTaRiA]

Dont worry chick, mine isnt great either, but its even more blurry at the moment...

[trina2004]

oh? something happened?

[dreadcircus]

is there such a thing as gaydar? I mean go out to oxford st around 11 at night friday or sat and everybody looks gay cept 70% are str8. I too give up 2nd guessing..

[clear-pvc]

So... Some of my straight friends who KNOW I am gay seem to deliberately flirt with me or make suggestive comments
What is with that?

I obviously can't speak for your friends, but it seems like an immature thing to do, flirting with a lesbian for the sake of attention. Tell them you don't like being messed around with.

[sTaRiA]

Wow... I totally forgot about this thread! How funny that Dreadcircus and I were swapping storries about frustrating faux lesbians and now... 11 months down the track, we are a couple! Thanks for digging this up PVC.

Gawd its so true though... I dont think straight girls realise it and are just having a good time and mucking around but it is so cruel to lead lesbians on. Its hard enough to try and work out if someone is gay or straight when they are being themselves, let alone playing it up as some kind of game...

[ammonite]

oh!!! i didn't realise dreadcircus was your Jade! i'm such an idiot LOL

[PixieGirl]

I have to say I haven't really experienced this, but usually when someone finds out i'm a lesbian it comes with the conversation of "do you have a man/boyfriend?" and i'll tell them I have a girlfriend. And I find that if girls know I have a girlfriend they seem to be a lot more 'normal' with the lesbian thing and don't treat me any differently, because they know that a) i'm not going to come on to them and b) they can't come on to me. So it's like a comfort zone there for me and them.

But I think that your friends might like to experiment with you if you're single because its sort of a new exciting thing and they know they can get away with it because you're a friend. To be honest it would make me really uncomfortable if that happened to me. :s

[trina2004]

Wow... I totally forgot about this thread! How funny that Dreadcircus and I were swapping storries about frustrating faux lesbians and now... 11 months down the track, we are a couple! Thanks for digging this up PVC.




Like:) Told you that you'd find someone awesome Staria:)


...



And I now have two faux lesbian friends who are "dating". As in, they hold hands and kiss in public, then go home and laugh abut how we are all falling for it.

[torilee]

Well... speaking from personal experience, sometimes these so-called 'straight girls' are actually lesbians who are so deep in the closet that they can't even admit it to themselves. That's why they're happy to hit on other women but immediately proclaim "straightness" when things start to get serious.

[sTaRiA]

oh!!! i didn't realise dreadcircus was your Jade! i'm such an idiot LOL

You're not an idiot ammonite. But yeah she's my Jadey :)

[sTaRiA]

Like:) Told you that you'd find someone awesome Staria:)


...



And I now have two faux lesbian friends who are "dating". As in, they hold hands and kiss in public, then go home and laugh abut how we are all falling for it.


That you did Trina! That i did ;)

[just_dance]

And I now have two faux lesbian friends who are "dating". As in, they hold hands and kiss in public, then go home and laugh abut how we are all falling for it.

bringing up an old topic to satisfy my curiousity, what is the point of this?? Why would you pretend to be with another woman when you're not? Just seems pointless to me...

and to add to the original thread... i've never had this happen to me. most of my friends treat me the same. However I lost my best friend because she thought I wanted more than friendship. Even when i *repeatedly* told her that I'm not into her. And I really miss her company :(

[trina2004]

bringing up an old topic to satisfy my curiousity, what is the point of this?? Why would you pretend to be with another woman when you're not? Just seems pointless to me...



Yeah I don't understand it personally. I think it was for attention, but I never really understood it as I hang with a pretty chilled group of people who don't really care who dates whom. I think it was just a lack of maturity on their part, since both were only 18 at the time, and from small country towns where being gay was big news.

[pho3nixphir3]

hmm, i've never had that problem. my friends are ok, they're pretty neutral about it. it's mostly the same as before, but i get nervous when they touch me sometimes, because i'm scared that they'll freak out or think something that isn't true or whatever

[manda-87]

I find some straight girls stay away from me coz it freaks them out, but then the straight ones i get little krushes on like to play with fire nd flirt with me, and try to get me drunk and stuff... i dont get it. I try to keep my distance because ive given into a straight girl before and she used me nd broke my heart, im a better person now but.

[Ellaaa]

It's happened to me twice now where straight friends have played around with me for a couple of years then decide their curiousity has been forfilled then go and get a boyfriend leaving me heartbroken. It would be nice to find somebody that is willing to commit to the relationship and not just do it for temporary kicks. I admit i had fun while being part of their experiment but it sure hurts in the end.

[just_dance]

Yeah I don't understand it personally. I think it was for attention, but I never really understood it as I hang with a pretty chilled group of people who don't really care who dates whom. I think it was just a lack of maturity on their part, since both were only 18 at the time, and from small country towns where being gay was big news.


Well maybe it was for the towns sake or something... but then, 18 year olds are very immature to be honest, with only very few exceptions. (and i can say that because I'm 18! lol) but really... sooo doesn't make sense!

Ouch Manda and Ella. that must really suck :( straight girls can be cruel!! I hope you've both found some lovely ladies now

[peacefrog]

Does this happen to everyone else?



constantly. my straight friends are such homos

[jojjie]

*sigh* ya.

[Prescotwench]

I have red most of the threads on this topic and am so p****d off you all seem to have females hanging of every protruberance straight and not so straight I can't get one. Mut be an age thing or maybe I look too straight and one can't really walk into a place shouting "I'm not straight, honestly" Went to DT's last night and even the boys kept asking me did I have a husband and did I have children and were so shocked when i pointed out to my girlfriend (well now an ex trying to 'try again' sort of situation) and said I have been with her 28 years. In the 21st century is there such a phenomena as looking like a lesbian????

[just_dance]

Haha prescot, not all of us do. just most of the girls in this thread do. I certainly don't. In fact it's only at certain people's parties that I seem to have someone 'hang off me' and they're always bi/gay. Though I did try to kiss my straight friend once... but i was seriously wasted that night!!!

[trina2004]

Hey prescot don't worry, I think there is such a thing as looking like a lesbian, but I don't. The girls I've been with I've met through friends of friends who know I'm gay, cause as much as I'd love to I can't do the short hair thing.

[pandapandapanda]

Having just come out, I don't know how to act around my straight girlfriends. I've always been a very touchy person, but now I worry that they'll feel uncomfortable and think I'm hitting on them if I just behave like always.

[pho3nixphir3]

i do have that problem with being touchy feely- and how straight girls will react. i wasn't usually touchy feely, but i like that physical closeness- even just the type that close friends have. but it is a problem, some people do get paranoid after they know =/

[erinbot]

Ok have had my lil dummy spit and am now determined to make a real go of this forum!

So... Some of my straight friends who KNOW I am gay seem to deliberately flirt with me or make suggestive comments (one even kissed me!) even though they have no intent of ever following through!.. What is with that? Do they just want to feel sexy? Is it because its such a tabboo subject or what?

Does this happen to everyone else?



Maybe they never thought they could be with a woman, but you tempt them? I have had some 'straight' girls say similar things to me. It's a little inappropriate. Like straight men asking if they can watch imo.

[erinbot]

Having just come out, I don't know how to act around my straight girlfriends. I've always been a very touchy person, but now I worry that they'll feel uncomfortable and think I'm hitting on them if I just behave like always.


I was worried that some of my long standing female straight friends would freak out and think they I had crushes on them, or get defensive when we muck around etc. BUT all my friends were totally awesome and have not changed the way they interact with me one bit. Hopefully you find the same!

[peacefrog]

i think my friends are like that because we're all art students and a little bit weird in the first place.

[jojjie]

I'm touchy-feely with my work friends who know I'm a homo, they don't care, I don't care, I love em, they love me, we're grown ups. Who cares. (I'm tired, hope this isn't sounding horrid.) I have sometimes been touchy-feely-flirty with other friends, pre-gf, again, just lovely, whatever. I just feel that if someone has a issue with a gay person touching them *because* they're gay they should get a life. But of course if they don't want to be touched by someone, they don't want to be touched and there's nothing worse than someone invading your personal space.

Just seems such an immature thought pattern to me, the idea that because someone touches you they must want to shag you. Sheesh. Effing sheesh I say.

[peacefrog]

it's also incredibly self absorbed. just because someone has a vag doesnt mean i want to shag them! i have standards, man!


:D

[pho3nixphir3]

this reminds me of a book...there's a gay character, and another boy gets freaked out about him, and the gay guy says something like: don't worry, even among us there's such a thing as good taste.

[symphony]

i wouldnt either....there such nasty lookin thangs too...( sorry guys but they are!!! I dont have anything against ya...) As i said though i would do a threesome/foursome and a man...as long as he knew not to touch me and i wouldnt him....If the man wasnt there would be better but i feel id be asking to much :P Damn hetro men always get in the way....

I was only ever invited for a threesome by my English Teacher at High School ( who smartly and legally waited until I had completed school - by about 4 days) and her new male. The divorce from her husband still had wet ink on it and there were 2 small children in the picture. We had a very hot, passionate f**kfest. When you are 18, full of hormones, from a Catholic Ladies College and making it with a teacher you have fancied for 4 years, integrity flies out the window. Then she asked if I would participate in a threesome with this new male. I have never even seen one :eek: (a wang) and have never wanted to, so my negative answer resulted in her never speaking to me again and eventually she went back to the UK with the new male. Ironically, they are also now divorced!

[tweety]

I don't know...I think its they trust you, like you, and also like attention. So you're a safer option because they know you wouldn't take advantage.

What do I know tho, it happens to me too.

i think straight girls also do it coz they know straight guys think two girls together is superhot so to turn the guys on, they try it on with us?

straight girls should be very grateful for the fact that we don't play along with them coz if they would find out that girls are far better kissers (and lovers) than boys, they'd never go back to men! :D

[Happy to be me]

Hey is it possible to be a frigid lesbian?
Whats the word for prick tease ?

I always flirted with guys (but secretly thought the girls were my cup of tea !)

I am too shy to flirt with chicks cause like you say you dont know if they r putting on a show for the men....

[trina2004]

Hey is it possible to be a frigid lesbian?
Whats the word for prick tease ?

I always flirted with guys (but secretly thought the girls were my cup of tea !)

I am too shy to flirt with chicks cause like you say you dont know if they r putting on a show for the men....

don't worry if you stay were you are for long you'll soon find out who all the real lesbians are- I've found in a town the size of bathurst we all know each other

[Happy to be me]

Ta I feel like a schoolgirl! lol! It's all still new ...

Can u PM me the details you spoke about?

Lily xo

[Tiarne]

I guess I see it differently, I love it when straight girls jump ship. So very, very enthusiastic. We all have boundaries and it's just a matter of making them clear.

[whatever]

while clicking through the internet i totally coincidental stumbled across this forum and thread and i decided to make an account just to post a reply here. so after this it is likely you won't ever see me again (since this forum isn't in any way my target group and i feel like an intruder to somebody elses safe space already and don't plan to intrude more than i feel is acceptable because i'm trying to be helpful on that matter. hell, i don't even live on your continent.).

ok, so i consider myself a straight girl and i've been around a lot of gay girls when i was playing american football until i injured my knee a couple of years back.

so, have i been flirting with my gay team mates? no. but have i been tempted? yes.

and after reading through this thread i began to reflect upon the reasons. ok, so here are my results:

in my opinion nobody ever is a 100% straight or a 100% gay. it is a grey zone for everybody but to a different extend, and that changes a bit (not totally) over time. and since one would go crazy declaring to the world "well, right now i feel like 85%straight but three years ago it was more like 90% and ten years ago i had a short periode when it felt more like 65-70% blah blah blah one decides to take a side or, if it is quite even, like 50/50 or 60/40 to not take a side at all.

so, now, when you meet a person, or know a person quite well, and you like that person very much and feel a great closeness to that person, whether this person is in your definition of sexual interest or not you decide to go for a relationship or for a friendship (strongly simplified, because i don't jump every guy i feel close to either - i do have male friends that i love but never even considered dating). additionally: if you know/feel from the beginning that the other person will never be interested in you you usually don't even think about hitting on that person - why bother if you know you will get denied.

but, what if it turns out that there is a person you feel very close to that you thought would never ever be interested in you because you are in the wrong target group, because most people don't keep the "never 100%" thing in mind anyways and tend to paint their mental picture in black and white instead of different shades of grey, what if that person suddenly tells you that you are in that target group (and, let's leave the question of attraction out here, because you always hope you are attractive enough (physically and as a person) so that the people that surround you are not waaaay out of your league) your personal grey area suddenly hits you. the 10, 15, 20 or whatever percentage it is for you suddenly scream "WHAT IF?" what if the right person for you is not in the main peoples pool of your attraction but in the smaller one that you have ruled out for you personally because you would go crazy if you had to deal with that every day in a world where everything is supposed to be black and white?

and then, if you are not careful, you find yourself flirting with that person, regardless of gender and of what you thought before, you begin to doubt your own sexual orientation, you begin to get the hots for people you would never have considered dateable before, and you are curious how it would be to change sides. but while the percentage of what you are interested in might change a bit as i mentioned before it will never totally flip to the other side, so if you are not close enough to 50/50 to consider yourself bi, then sometime between the very nice touchy-feely friendship kind of thing, or even kissing the other person, and then actually getting intimate the whole "what if" bubble vanishes and you know that after all this isn't for you.

well, i'm a very cautios and considerate person, so before i gave in to the temptation of flirting with my gay friends i visualized what the flirting might lead to and i noticed that while i would have been ok with kissing a girl i would not have been ok with me touching/caressing her boobs or vice versa, so i knew that i was (and still am) too straight to follow through and so i was careful not to start flirting with them. but a person that isn't that self-reflective might not even think so far before starting action.

so, at least from my point of view that might be the reason why your straight friends start hitting on you once you tell them you're gay or why girls hit on you while telling you they are straight.

i hope i could help you view the situation from a different angle and maybe understand what is going on. maybe, if you are the confronting type you can use that information to make further inquiries (sp?) about what they are feeling/thinking in that situation.

thank you for reading through my ramble, and i wish you all the best,
kat

[Happy to be me]

oh Kat this site is so ok for you too ! We dont discriminate ,gay, straight, bi -all are welome :)
And all members are from around the world too !

Hope you continue to visit ,its great to hear thoughts from brave people :)

Good luck and hope you find yourself xo

Lily x