What's really attractive?

[Christian Taylor]

This week we're looking at alternative notions of beauty - namely the rise of the Bears and the Chubby Chasers. (http://www.samesame.com.au/features/925/The_Rise_Of_The_Chubby_Chaser)

Okay, hands up if you're tired of seeing endless images of buff, bronzed, preened and photoshopped bodies? Who's ready for a more diverse, broader definition of what's 'hot'?

What d0 we think of the 'chubby chasers' and the bears? Have they seen the light? Have they won out over a multi-million dollar industry hell bent on sending us to the nearest gym and salad bar?

When was the last time you saw a bear without a smile on their face? Seems there's something to be said for body acceptance and loving oneself regardless of how you look.

Thoughts?

[meezon04]

But aren't bears and cubs usually also into S&M and leather?

i dunno, throw me a line here :)

[cheyne67]

But aren't bears and cubs usually also into S&M and leather?

i dunno, throw me a line here :)

No darlin' - youre getting bears and cubs mixed up with Politicians and High Court Judges

[Tristianity]

Okay, hands up if you're tired of seeing endless images of buff, bronzed, preened and photoshopped bodies?

I'm not tired of seeing endless images of buff and bronzed. That's my definition of sex! Bring them on and Chrisian you can send them to me, i'll let you have the "over 35's" ;)

[Christian Taylor]

Bring them on and Chrisian you can send them to me, i'll let you have the "over 35's" ;) Oh, the cheek! :)

[Maximus83]

hah.. in the Bear community there is just as much (if not more) emphasis on body image -- it's just a *different* body image.

You might be shocked to know how much time various Musclebears and cubs spend pumping iron. I mean you trade cardio and salad for weights and a pizza, but it's still the same thing.

I don't think it's fair to push conformity of any one form of body image on people.

That said, y'all can have the twinky fairy boys and I'll take me some chunky bears and cubs :)

[Tim D]

Very interesting point Maximus, I never thought about the image pressure coming from the bear community as well.

[Maximus83]

Being skinny and twinky and hairless in the Bear community is a little like being fat and hairy and "mature" in the DNA-underwear-model-esque gay world.

[robbie]

great comparison Maximus. I guess for my first 7 years of gayness I was certainly attracted to the cute, toned, twinky type of poof, but when I reached 30, I started to find that chest hair and hairy legs can be sexy, that older men with 3 day stubble makes me weak at the knees, and brand whores were not as appealing as they once were. I guess my taste is maturing (or I'm getting desperate! haha) - I'm even dating older men for the first time in my life.

[genkij]

Liberties !!!! Christian!! that Tristianity !!

[doodle_chaser]

As a chubby chaser from way back, I think it’s great that people are acknowledging that beauty can be found in other, less conventional forms. Yes, I aspire to the DNA-style body, but only for myself. For those I choose to share a bed with, I definitely want (and need) a larger and softer form. This often proves to be a confusing fact for people to get their heads around. In the past when I’ve told my toned, twinky friends who I would like to spend my bedroom time with, I’ve received looks like I’ve just told them I’m going to paint the house some weird, out-there colour. It’s also confused the chubs that I’ve showered my admiration on, with them looking all hurt and angry as they think I’m taking the piss and winding them up.
And, yes, it’s confused even me. I’ve tried dishing up a response to that inevitable question time and time again, and I still get those funny-coloured paint expresions. “Why do you like fat blokes?”
When it comes down to it (or when it comes to me going down), it’s just what I feel attracted to and comfortable with. I am sure we could psychoanalyze it and explain it down to the ground, but that would give away the magic and turn my attraction into the mere mechanics of a machine.
It’s just the way it is.

[atomic-teddy]

lol - i thought i was crazy!!!!!!! Iv noticed that alot more guys are choosing chubbier over skinnier - and its great ^^

im a little cubby XP and atleast NOW i feel like i have some chance!!!

[doodle_chaser]

Once you've had Fat, you never go back.

Fat. It's the new Black.

[Asherbella]

interesting

[Phazz]

Different strokes for different folks.

[Asherbella]

Different strokes for different folks.

Journeys, ages & stages.

The Asherbella of 10 years ago went for 'boy next door'.

The Asherbella of 5 years ago went for lean muscle jock.

The Asherbella of today goes for stocky.

Go figure...

[rudeboy86]

But aren't bears and cubs usually also into S&M and leather?

i dunno, throw me a line here :)

Not always...I know I am though lol.

;)

[rudeboy86]

hah.. in the Bear community there is just as much (if not more) emphasis on body image -- it's just a *different* body image.

You might be shocked to know how much time various Musclebears and cubs spend pumping iron. I mean you trade cardio and salad for weights and a pizza, but it's still the same thing.

I don't think it's fair to push conformity of any one form of body image on people.

That said, y'all can have the twinky fairy boys and I'll take me some chunky bears and cubs :)

This is true...Musclebears seem to be a big thing within the Bear community...

I like them as much as I like the next guy who feels happy with their own body..but please keep those annoying queeny little bitches away from me.

I want the virile, hairy (chest/back/arms), no-attitude, down-to-earth guys...mmm...

[bellsforher]

I need a sense of humour and inteligence. If they also look good, then hey, that's a bonus. But really, I get dead bored around people who only ever talk about looking good and diet, exercise, etc.

only must have - a good head of hair.

[genkij]

I need a sense of humour and inteligence. If they also look good, then hey, that's a bonus. But really, I get dead bored around people who only ever talk about looking good and diet, exercise, etc.

only must have - a good head of hair.

I hear that one sista!

I just get bored of people who aren't interested in having a conversation when they are out ...WHATS with that ??

Is going out all about socializing ?? or did I miss a memo on that one ?? :p

[TheOldie]

I'm not tired of seeing endless images of buff and bronzed. That's my definition of sex! Bring them on and Chrisian you can send them to me, i'll let you have the "over 35's" ;)

We can share them Tristianity :)

and yes agree totally with Maximus. I have bear friends and believe me they try hard at their image just as much as a twink / model type will.

I do love to look at the buffed and bronzed but .......... when that spark hits you would be surprised at who it actually is. Whenever I get that spark with someone it hasnt been a buffed and bronzed. Actually most of the buffed and bronzed have turned out to be a big disappointment ( not all mind you ). One fuck buddy I have is a real country boy dufus to look out...........bowl cut hair, socks that are not rolled down.....daggy shirts/shorts etc but boy is he good in the sack and the cock !
mmmmm mmmmmm.

But going to Parties with my bear friends , they have more mirror time that I do in a week.

Different strokes for different folks.

[marky markywicz]

Well kept guys over 40, HOT !

[badamj2000]

No darlin' - youre getting bears and cubs mixed up with Politicians and High Court Judges
Yes, its very easy to do

[badamj2000]

As a chubby chaser from way back, I think it’s great that people are acknowledging that beauty can be found in other, less conventional forms. Yes, I aspire to the DNA-style body, but only for myself. For those I choose to share a bed with, I definitely want (and need) a larger and softer form. This often proves to be a confusing fact for people to get their heads around. In the past when I’ve told my toned, twinky friends who I would like to spend my bedroom time with, I’ve received looks like I’ve just told them I’m going to paint the house some weird, out-there colour. It’s also confused the chubs that I’ve showered my admiration on, with them looking all hurt and angry as they think I’m taking the piss and winding them up.
And, yes, it’s confused even me. I’ve tried dishing up a response to that inevitable question time and time again, and I still get those funny-coloured paint expresions. “Why do you like fat blokes?”
When it comes down to it (or when it comes to me going down), it’s just what I feel attracted to and comfortable with. I am sure we could psychoanalyze it and explain it down to the ground, but that would give away the magic and turn my attraction into the mere mechanics of a machine.
It’s just the way it is.

Was your daddy a fat cunt, In sorry was your father overweight ? I have a theory...

[badamj2000]

Im a fuckin model. I work it

[naughtylion]

Muscle bears are hot.

The muscle mary thing gets a bit boring, true, but that's not saying it's not hot as fuck either. I get tired of the barbie-doll attitudes of most of them though...

Buffed, plucked, preened, bronzed, it's all very nice, and I really do appreciate the effort people out in, and I bet they get a kick out of it from day to day life... but I can't help but thinking they kinda blend in with the background when they are out partying. I generally find it's like maccas - taste fucking awesome but it's pretty cheap. Walk into any gay bar and they're a dime a dozen. And you usually get the attitude for free.

I'm not a bear whore, but a little roughed up is good. It's just something a little different.

That being said though, anything with a pulse...

[badamj2000]

Stop flirting with me.

[naughtylion]

Stop being so fucking hot.

[badamj2000]

Stop being so fucking hot.
;)

[Asherbella]

Well kept guys over 40, HOT !
Yes.
:)

[Raoul Duke]

I get called a cub, probably because i'm young, have a beard and hairy chest, but im not that big, not skinny either, not that muscled either, just pretty average i think haha... not sure where that would put me...

[Asherbella]

I get called a cub, probably because i'm young, have a beard and hairy chest, but im not that big, not skinny either, not that muscled either, just pretty average i think haha... not sure where that would put me...
You're not a label. Nobody really is.
The term *bear* is a fun indicator when on the scene.
Treat labels as fun indicators to help you attract your preference, Mr. Duke.
*Put* yourself in the place where you're the most relaxed about being the guy that's gonna give you a shot at being happy to be part of the gay community.:) Now that's REALLY attractive.

[Raoul Duke]

haha, yeah i don't place much weight into labels and such. I'm pretty alright with just being me, don't need more of a distinction then that! Since i'm pretty new to the gay scene i found it odd that i needed further catagorisation! doesn't bother me at all, but not something that i feel i'm going to need to place a distinguishing tag or whatever on myself and change who i am to fit a stereotype!

[marky markywicz]

Well kept guys over 40, HOT !

Add hairy, wog, uncut to that and I am mesmerised for sometime. ;)

accent bonus points.

Short and stocky = I'm putty :D

God help us Ash if were were at a club together (I SAW HIM FIRST!) #LOL

[Anthony Mahera]

A few years back I kinda had a fettish for cute cubs. It's just kinda came over me ;) but the problem is that I wasn't a bear so none of them where interested in me.

One thing I find in he gay community is that you have to chnage your physical self to fit into a specific part of the communtiy or to attract a specific type of person. Bears are usually not intreseted in anything other then cubs. So what chance does some twink or what ever have picking up or dating a cub/bear?

[honey-prawns]

never say never

[GenesisInVain]

WHat about the heroin chic boys Christian? The waif men. YUM. They are definitely a new brand of 'men'. I'm not talking about models either.

[joejoe84]

I've always found the bear scene a bit unwelcoming and just as shallow as the 'twinky' scene, I'm one of those types who will get along with anyone but because I'm skinny and young looking for my age, I feel that when I have spoken to guys that come under the bear category, they have been pretty dismissive or rude for no apparent reason (although i don't believe them to all be like that). Having said that, I've always prefered beary stocky/bigger types that myself...

[bascia2]

A few years back I kinda had a fettish for cute cubs. It's just kinda came over me ;) but the problem is that I wasn't a bear so none of them where interested in me.

One thing I find in he gay community is that you have to chnage your physical self to fit into a specific part of the communtiy or to attract a specific type of person. Bears are usually not intreseted in anything other then cubs. So what chance does some twink or what ever have picking up or dating a cub/bear?

They have an excellent chance with all the "bear-ish" and "cub-ish" guys who don't identify with the bear and cub scene and who are interested in "twinks" or whatevers. Just because a guy has the physical characteristics of a bear does not mean he necessarily conforms to the bear and cub stereotype. John likes daddy bears. I am older than him and slightly bear-ish but I am also tall and into sports and not particularly into cubs. John is not a cub-ish guy physically and I like small athletic men preferrably younger. John is younger but not small or athletic.

I could never understand why many gay guys get all hung up on appearances and then keep complaining that they never meet Mr Right. I ask them what happens if their Mr Right is not their Mr Rightnow? What if their soul mate is not their fantasy man? What are they missing out on?

[Anthony Mahera]

They have an excellent chance with all the "bear-ish" and "cub-ish" guys who don't identify with the bear and cub scene and who are interested in "twinks" or whatevers. Just because a guy has the physical characteristics of a bear does not mean he necessarily conforms to the bear and cub stereotype. John likes daddy bears. I am older than him and slightly bear-ish but I am also tall and into sports and not particularly into cubs. John is not a cub-ish guy physically and I like small athletic men preferrably younger. John is younger but not small or athletic.

I could never understand why many gay guys get all hung up on appearances and then keep complaining that they never meet Mr Right. I ask them what happens if their Mr Right is not their Mr Rightnow? What if their soul mate is not their fantasy man? What are they missing out on?

As Joejoe was saying, in my experiance they have been dismissive and very rude.
And my previous partners have not been my idealist man, in fact the last guy I dated I wasn't physically attracted to him whatsoever when we meet, over time I fell in love with the man and once that happened he was the hottest thing on the planet to me.

My point was that the gay scene is very superficial regardless of what part of the community you might hail from.

[badamj2000]

As Joejoe was saying, in my experiance they have been dismissive and very rude.
And my previous partners have not been my idealist man, in fact the last guy I dated I wasn't physically attracted to him whatsoever when we meet, over time I fell in love with the man and once that happened he was the hottest thing on the planet to me.

My point was that the gay scene is very superficial regardless of what part of the community you might hail from.
Bears = clones out to pasture ( but in a good way)

[bascia2]

As Joejoe was saying, in my experiance they have been dismissive and very rude.
And my previous partners have not been my idealist man, in fact the last guy I dated I wasn't physically attracted to him whatsoever when we meet, over time I fell in love with the man and once that happened he was the hottest thing on the planet to me.

My point was that the gay scene is very superficial regardless of what part of the community you might hail from.

I agree completely with your point Anthony. My additional point was that guys participating in the gay scene (which is all about appearances) should not complain about it being hard to find Mr Right or about being rejected based on appearances. Thats how the scene works. A broarder approach is required.

[Totka]

Went to the Chunky party last night. What I found really attractive was the fact that the men there obviously felt safe and comfortable with being in that environment. Men who I often see in other venues being awkward and self conscious were smiling and "bear"ing all. Thats instantly attractive to me. I had a great dance, and lots of hilarious chats and a really sexy time :p Happy birthday Chunky!

[Phazz]

I don't like being labelled or type cast. It's pretty limiting and small minded. Judging and scorning a person based on not fitting the criteria of these labels is discriminatory. When you think about it heterosexual and homosexual are just labels too.

[Ru4Real]

Being a bear type myself and just having lost some weight, I hit the gym a bit now, am alot more careful with with I am eating etc and have now been getting told that soon I will be able to call myself a "muscle bear" .. I havent pissed myself laughing so much in a long time. I dont need a label, I am who I am and taking on a slightly healthier approach to life is for me, definately not for anyone else.

In saying that though I do also feel very insecure when I am around the "pretty" people and do feel alot more at ease around in the bear scene, which, although on the outside seems open and friendly can still have its internal clicks as such. For me personally I find the numerous gay scenes all the same just with differing ideals of what perfection is.

A couple of people on here (that I would call nice looking men) have said that by not being a bear or a cub they dont get a look in. If I was at some bear outing and some nice looking guy (good body, pretty face etc) came and started talking to me I would freak and think it was joke. Then of course my mind I would would start to think "shit, if I had sex with him and rolled over I'd squash him" ..

Fat, thin, hairy or smooth .. alot of us just need to learn to be happy with what we have.

:)

[Asherbella]

God help us Ash if were were at a club together (I SAW HIM FIRST!) #LOL
*swoons* then ponders the idea of moving to Victoria...lol
I know you're all coupled up, Marky.
I'm not a homewrecker, but it is nice to fantasize about you, too.
x