How lonely are you?

[Jayz]

By having a post title like this, I can tell you I'm getting lonely and bored for quite some time. And feeling I can't do much about it. I know I know there're heaps to do, but do you think sometimes it can be bad luck that things are not happening the way I'm hoping to? It sounds like a very bad excuse, but I believe that you don't make friends overnight, or it's something that can't be make happen. I do meet people from time to time, but somehow I just don't seem to have friends to meet up regularly. Is it because of expectation? I just don't know what it is, I feel like when you are getting older, it's just getting more difficult to make new friends. Most of my really good friends that I know for ages.

I'm worried, and I'm really scared by the thought that am I going to live a life like this forever?? I just feel like why some people just make friends naturally without worrying a thing, and I'm the one having no one to hang out with, and thinking about how to make friends. Isn't it sad? :( I am really positive, and know that it takes time and stuff. Then it's been like this for a few years now, should I get some help? I know people will be suggesting to join a community or volunteer work, then I'm not 100% comfortable with going there by myself.

As I'm not living in the city, somehow I think it makes it difficult to meet up, and I also don't drive, it probably makes it even harder. I'm also not a party person ( a bit too old for that) I think I know I need to do something about it, but I just need some advice, and to share with people having similar experiences.....

Please share your thoughts!

[waterrat]

Jayz..I really used to feel the same way, and people would tell me that I needed to be able to enjoy my own company first and 'love myself'. In the end this was kind of forced on me (thank you universe) and it is probably the best thing that has ever happened. I really don't mind now where things are at, I'm equally happy on my own or hanging out with others.

I think expectation has a bit to do with how you are feeling, you may be looking at others and saying 'what is so different about me that that doesn't happen', and the fear that things are going to stay as they are, always make things appear more urgent than they are.

The volunteer path is an awesome idea (heck, there's even a group in here devoted to it, might be worth looking there to see if you can get to know a couple of people who are in the same area, that way if you do go, you won't be alone) If there is an ACON nearby they are a great source of volunteering for different things, go and see them first that way you might know the facilitator at least.

The lifeline course is awesome, and really worthwhile.

I think the real payoff here is, if you do decide to bite that bullet and put your hand up to help, you are automatically there with like-minded people, they are all there for the same reason: to help out. If you go there with that in mind, and let whatever will be, be I'll almost guarantee that you will progress :D

Be yourself, that's all you are meant to be :)

Rat

[Jayz]

Hey Rat,

I'm so happy to see your reply today. I think human emotions are very complex. There's probably nothing changed in these few days after I posted that, but even I got one reply that seems to care, and "help out"! I've already feel better! :)

Yeah, I'll look into a few things see if I can get involved more. I know that I'm the only one to put things into action, and make it happen for myself. I guess at the end of the day, I can't push anything, but I can still say to myself that I've tried my best and done something about it.

Life is definitely not meant to be easy, and I guess (and I hope) anything worthwhile is going to take time. I'm so glad that my books are my good friends that when I need some support or advice, I can always read a book, and feel much better and that brightens my day.

I did actually go to the local ACON a few years ago, even though I'm being honest here that I didn't enjoy it too much. I know I shouldn't have any expectation, but again I can't really force myself to click with anyone that I didn't really click with.
What a coincidence I also looked at the Lifeline course as well, but it costs quite a bit, and it's huge commitment that I think I need to volunteer some overnight shift as well. Having said that, I will keep my options open, and see what comes along.

Thanks again for the reply, I really appreciate it!!

Cheers,
JayZ :o

[waterrat]

Maybe your employer might chip in for it...improved interpersonal relationships ;) always good to have on your resume :D

ACON isn't the be-all and end-all, but it is there, and it does support us, and if you have a particular interest that might benefit from a few of your hours...(maybe you like puppies ;) RSPCA could always use help too) there is always assistance needed wherever you go, and it would probably suit you better to cater to one of your interests rather than the 'default' well I'll help out at the gay place because I am a gay kind of thing lol

keep going :)

Rat.