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[fcukmy318i]

Ok - so i read the phone - The message read "Hey sexy - just finished work, laying in bed thinking of you Im naked, when can you join me"

For the purpose of this i will call my BF (J)

He (J) wouldnt tell the truth but then why would he - he just got caught with his pants down....

So hartbroken i swallowed my wound - not before I took down the number - So that i could get some truth - I am an easy going guy - I am just after some simple values and honesty... So I called it..... I said i wanted to meet him and i organised to be outside his work ........

Amazingly for hours and hours, this guy and i sat in the front seat of my car i just rambled as i do and he listened, trully listened to everything i had to say, and then he talked told me about his past and his experiances....

It was weird having this conversation - I sat in my car having a conversation with the guy who wrote the text message above... Funny thing is he told me the truth - more than (J) ever could - they did not F%$K - they did kiss... He (J) did not tell him that he was involved.

Anys - like i said i picked up my heart - I stood up as proud as I could, had a shower - got ready and went to work.... Where unfortunately sitting on my desk is a picture of the two of us - Happy Smiling.... I just looked at it - and for the first time dropped a small tear... I walked out of my office - into the company directors and said i needed assistance with something. I explained what had happened - maybe i am lucky i am the only gay at work - they look after me.... The Maintenance guys from work all got in work vechiles and i moved, in four hours, into a company unit.

My work stood up and offered me a home and a sholder. I will be greatfull for a long time. Anyways with that also comes the opportunity of promotion as I will push forward within future developments - Our CEO always to afraid to ask me to advance forward because I have been with (J) and an advancement of my career would alternatively had effected the relationship that i was in....

Since - I have had two dinner dates with Mr X - the guy from the text - and he has stayed over. He has taken me to lunch, and just speaking with him is easy - everything that i always wanted from (J) but never got. He is funny, makes me laugh, my god tickled me, held my hand.

I now have a call from (J) wants us to work this out - realises that he has a long way to go - bla bla bla - thats how i feel about it. Sorry that he did what he did - realises his mistakes - wants me back, willing to work on it.

In some way the trust is broken in that for me - (J) threw 19months in the shit box.

Should I continue with either - Should I see what happens with Mr X, just as a friendship level; Should i give (J) the chance. Should I take a promotion which was offered to me because I am now single...

WHAT THE HELL - Someone? Please have been through this.

[timmeyboy]

Wow, thats a lot to take in!!!

Firstly hope your doin ok!!
Secondly "J" is a doucebag of the highest order

Don't take him back, would you wanna be in a relationship where you checking his phone every time he leaves it by you, or havin a fit every time he says he's goin out with mates.....it's not worth it and you deserve better.

With Mr X it's up to you, there's always worry of the rebound factor but depends on how you want it to play out, is it just friends or do you want more?? It's your choice and hey you should just have fun if thats what you want, 19 months is a long time so maybe you shoukld have some fun first and see where it goes....

[peeter]

good advice Tim, "J" doesn't deserve a second chance since he lied when he was caught (the lowest form) .. he dug his own grave. I'd stay single for a while, take Mr X on the side and seriously think about the promotion! Best of luck.

[Cheetah77]

First of all fcukmy... kudos to you for having the balls to call and confront this guy and to sit and talk things through with him. Good on you also for not holding him responsible and putting the blame wholeheartedly on the J where it belongs! I agree with Timmey, don't take him back. Even if it was just a kiss, the fact that he lied to you after he'd been found out tells you he was ashamed and that in his mind, he'd probably already done the deed, in not in reality.

Secondly, although there is the chance of the rebound thing, I say if Mr X and you get along well, not forgetting that he was man enough to front up and talk to you after confronting him - a lot of guys would have run for miles - then he's probably a person of substance and to let him go may be a mistake.

I say go for it (carefully and steadily) with Mr X and see what happens... you'll never know if you don't give it a try!

[Cheetah77]

Oh, and as for your work... go for that promotion too! A boss and a team who'd support you as much as they did is a team you want to stay involved with and by taking a position your boss has been wanting you for would be a really nice way to say thank you to him, and would be a great opportunity for you.

The new guy can take your new position as part of the package...

[atomic-teddy]

what if you and Mr X end up dating >.> its not THAT unrealistic ya knows...

[fcukmy318i]

Well - I just thought that i would post an outcome to this topic - so that you can all read what i have to say......

(J) Is a Fool - he has lost a great thing, I am a fucking great thing. I have a faboulous life, an awsome career and oportunities to move forward with that, my kids love me, I am not half bad on the mirror.

I had coffee with him - I just felt still - nothing - not a care - could not have bothered if i was there or not - it was just to much of an effort to give this person my time - so i left. I am numb. I have absolutly no feelings for this person anymore - I just gave a giggle and said babe, you will be ok - see ya round well have a drink if we see eachother out. And i walked away.

Mr (X) wow, just consumes me. So we will have a few slow dates - i will get to know him - we will see where it goes - absurdly we seem to have so much in common.

I had my tarot cards read last night - Amazing, i already knew what they said before they were read.

I am moving on and I am wonderful.

[timmeyboy]

Good for you mate - hope things all fall into place for you!!
You will have to keep us updated with progress!!!

GOOD LUCK!!!!