Why gays can't have proper relationships

[hotstuff]

Rupert Everett who was out her for Mardi Gras, gave a pretty full on interview in England this week and made some pretty full on comments.

"Coming from a Catholic military background, when I found myself to be homosexual it was terrifying. All my early sexual experiences took place in terror - a fear of being caught.

"Your brain cells still give you that message years later. The irony is that as you get older, you reconcile things better. But by now you're out of the habit of relationships, you're used to doing your own thing."

Is that why gays can't have proper relationships?

[timmeyboy]

I have my own theory:
No one steal this cuz it's mine ok!!!

It all comes down to Genetics & Nature.
firstly being gay is Nature's birth control, we can't breed so therefore we keep the population down (but no ozzies can have 1 for mom, 1 for dad and 1 for country!!!!!) but we're still males and genetics take over.
As men it's our duty to propogate the species, make as many babies as possible so we don't die out. These genetic urges are still strong, it's part of our survival insticnt, all that happens is when you get a lot of men together the urge is stronger especially when there is any kind of attraction.
Basically what i'm saying is that it's easier for gay men to be promiscuious becuase as men it's in our gene's to be.
That makes sense??

[Cheetah77]

it does make sense Timmey cos basically, men are just a bunch of horny fuckers.

I don't know if you can necessarily say it's because we can't breed tho... seems a little tenuous to me. :)

[burgjo]

Is that why gays can't have proper relationships? Is this a "grand" generalization? I know alot of guys (including myself) who have had "normal" relationships and some that against current "straight" relationship times are leaving them for dead!

Is it really that we "cant" or is it that some just chose not to? Is it another aspect of that if we just acted "normally" we would blend to well into general society and thus would that be the death of our identity as a minority group? Are we sacrificing happiness for an identity?

[Tim D]

A big call, but I'd hate to think that there actually is a grain of truth in there somewhere.

I think the reasons guys - in general yes - seem to have less success in long term relationships has more to do with social constructs and mores than anything else.

[Thatguy]

Relationships are changing - most marriages end in divorce - straight people have trouble finding relationships that work as well.

I don't think it is a very useful question to ask why gay folk can't have "proper" relationships. Proper in who's eyes? A more interesting question is to explore exactly what makes them different from straight relationships. One of the biggest differences is that gay people tend to be more honest with their relationships and are less likely to stay with someone if things are not working out. So, in a sense those in gay relationships who stay together are probably happier than straight people - cause they are not staying together "because of the kids" or religion or because of trying to keep up appearances.

So, I recon we could build a case for gay relationships being actually happier than straight ones. There is so much pretending in the straight world, so much of what appears to be love - but isn't.

[robbie]

Totally agree with thatguy.. some of our parents, and our grandparents have the same job for their entire working career - 40 - 50 years with the same company, or in the same industry, BORING, thankfully that trend is swiftly dying. I think it's a similar trend for relationships. We no longer settle for mediocrity and security. Today's society desire variety, want spice, and search for constant intrigue and entertainment, in all aspects of life - including relationships.

While I know there is "the one" out there for me, I won't be settling or staying with someone when I know it isn't working. And I am as happy as a fluffer on a Bel Ami movie shoot.

[taylor-dayne]

yes, i would be reluctant to say we can't have proper relationships... sure, there may be more blurred lines due to social rules and expectations, but that's about it. i know some gay people who have some amazing relationships - ones that would be the envy of anyone - gay or straight. it's all about love, being with someone for the right reasons and actually wanting to be in that relationship - about rising above the undertone that there's always something better around the corner...