Am I alone in Sydney?....or are we all?

[Garthy]

I am posting this to try and get a bit of feedback..
I moved here 2 years ago from Tamworth and since moving here I have gone out and partied, clubbed oxford st till I became bored of it and now I dont know what else Sydney has to offer?...
I dont know why in all this time I have not 'Clicked' with anybody here and became friends...Is it just me or do people here in Sydney have problems being friendly and open?

I am curious how I am supposed to meet nice people along the same lines as myself...I dont do drugs, dont smoke, lead a healthy life and i am happy with myself and my life and job so why cant I find people to connect with?
Is it just me or do people seem very closeminded to accept outsiders...Tamworth is a LOT easier fitting into even though I was the only openly gay guy in the town.
Let me know if I am alone in my thoughts about Sydney...as i am seriously considering moving back there to escape this social isolation.

[pinkyboisyd]

Hey Garthy, i don't think its like that at all...

I moved to Sydney 3 years ago and didn't know anyone. All my friend's i have made from just meeting people out or through work or things like that.

It works in my favour abit that i am very outgoing and am very open to just walking up and talking to people at random. Obviously there is the wrong and right time to do this but i've never had any trouble making friends.
I think the hardest time was trying to get a spark under the friendship so that it would take off... Like making the extra effort to meet someone even if i didn't know them that well... Its really hard especially if you don't have many friends to be patient with this sort of thing.

I agree with you though - there aren't heaps and heaps of gay activities to do if your not into clubbing all the time. Maybe try joining one of the gay sporting groups or even going to Gay Ten Pin Bowls on a Sunday at Fox Studios? Its drug and alcohol free a fun way to meet more people....

[taylor-dayne]

the gay scene is a playground you take friends too and if you're lucky you manage to make lasting relationships - but such things are hard to come by... it's hit and miss making friends in this world no matter where you go or what you do...

[danny corvini]

You get out there.. you meet people.. some are fake.. you get back out there.. you meet new people.. someone rocks your world.. who later lets you down.. but you get back out there.. you meet people.. someone thinks you're absolutely amazing.. you get back out there.. you have the time of your life.. before you know it you're a sydneysider and you can't believe it's been 3 years.

[Garthy]

I have only been involved in one sport or activity...unfortuneately There is a lack of that sport in sydney with having to travel halfway across the city to participate...
I played social Darts for 4 years then started playing competetion Darts ..I really enjoy playing it and I can start a team as well but for some reason I dont know where to look for interested ppl. :(

[Savoy]

Garthy, this website has the ability for you to start up like-minded groups. It offers the chance to do so @ http://www.samesame.com.au/group/create. Perhaps start from there.

Back to the initial post. I am a Sydneysider & know of other Sydneysiders of course and yeah, it's not dead easy to make close friends for someone that has lived most of their life here either. I don't think it has much to do with you being from Tamworth at all. It's just how it is. Making friends usually just happens in natural circumstances.

Perhaps pull back on the partying and go out as more of a treat occasionally. Also lessen the expectations, then if someone or something positive in your life comes along, it will feel more like a welcomed bonus. In other words, take the great importance off it otherwise it will only keep leading to disappointments. Sounds like you may have come to the big-smoke with "stars in your eyes" and when reality hit, you find it's not fulfilling its pomise (Pardon if I sound like a Dear Abbey column, but you asked for opinions).

Sydney has so much more than Oxford St to offer. It's just one small part.

[danny corvini]

Gay darting sounds cool. Move over bocce`!

[Garthy]

Well then what am I waiting for eh?...There is a pub called 'The bat and ball" its on the corner of cleveland st and south dowling st. I have been given the thumbs up from the licensee Michelle to start up a Dart team as they have the room and the available time...all expenses paid till it kicks off. I would have to run it which is cool by me as It is quite fun and easy to do. The only thing is that if I was sick or something happened to me and I HAD to work I would have to cancel running Darts and a LOT of people would be disappointed.
What do I do?..

[Savoy]

Huh? The teamsters need not be disappointed. You just contact the other members of the group (by then you may have their phone numbers, e-mail addresses etc) and say you cannot make it. The others could still go if they wish, no?

[Cheetah77]

I agree with Savoy here Garthy. To me it sounds like you're placing too much pressure on yourself. The great thing about group acitivities, be it darts or something else, is that if you can't make it, the rest of the team can still do it without you. You've done the hardest bit already - you've got somewhere to play. Now you just need to put togetehr a team! Use the groups on here and use this post to get people joining up! You could also try posting on pinkboard or another site like that!

I understand your feelings of letting the team down etc as I'm exactly the same but I thing if you ease up a bit on yourself and just go with the flow a bit, you're bound to meet people and have fun doing it!

I moved to Sydney 10 yrs ago and I had 1 friend. You use what you've got already and you just build on it without any expectations. As Danny said, you will be let down a lot by ppl, but take it as part of the journey. Over time you'll see that slowly you're building your circle until you look back ina few years and go 'Wow! Look at how far I've come!".

In saying that, you're not going to make friends sitting at home wishing you could meet someone you clicked with though - you need to get out there and do things even if they're things you wouldn't normally do just so you can meet them! Check out the Groups on here and see if there's one you can get involved with or set up your own... it needn't be a darts one - maybe just one for ppl who've moved to Sydney and are having trouble making friends?