question for the girls

[velvety]

I am so full of self doubt right now, its stupid. My relationship that i thought would go on forever as stalled. She doesnt know what she wants anymore, and me...i wanted what i had...there forever bit...the one where you wake up next to someone and fall asleep next to them.


What i wanna know is....if you see a pattern emerging how do you change it?....for example mine is....i find someone...they always need some sort of assistance.. my ex husband is a good example...he lived at his sisters place in next to squaller conditions i took him in....watered and fed him well, pushed him in the right direction thru school he got himself a better job...more money....more friends....then bang....im outa the piture right there. Fast forward to current GF...similar story...and im picking the outcome is looking at being the same.


How do i stop it? I feel i cannot keep going on like this...i feel squashed and trooden on...used up....

[gold_femme]

that's a tough one darling, i hope your ok.

i think that its so important to not change who you are, you need to hang on to that lovely nature that lets you look after someone in need..but you just need to change who you share that with.

life keeps teaching you lessons until you finally learn them, and the lessons get harder and more obvious if you ignore them.

i changed my pattern by spending alot of time on my own and really delving into who i am. in the last 6 months ive emerged from the depths an improved version of myself..ive changed but im still essentially the same woman - just stronger, smarter and more confident.

it may seem unlikely now but i know that you can get through this.

xxx

pm me anytime for a chat

[girlsOngirls]

Im usually in a pattern, but seeing what i was doing and knowing what i was doing wrong allowed me to change little things. Its worked out. I hope that whatever happens in your current situation benefits you. A little bit of pain can be a huge realisation. Well it was for me.

Good luck =o)

[velvety]

Yea...im at that point where i realised it was a pattern and i hope ive now broken it.......though to end the story we are still trying to work it out and save the relationship so....things are good about now...so....she didnt leave and we are working thru things.....i hope things go okay...its looking up for the moment.....

for the moment...hahaha

[Prescotwench]

I find a good dose of indifference helps. Cry in secret never show anger or hurt, just complete and utter indifference. Also travelling overseas, buying myself presents such as a 42 inch LCD tv, going out and getting laid, preferably with the current partner's best friend and if all else fails a couple of straight vodka's will do the trick. But I would settle for indifference and sex with someone else I call it subtle revenge.

[Dash80]

I find a good dose of indifference helps. Cry in secret never show anger or hurt, just complete and utter indifference. Also travelling overseas, buying myself presents such as a 42 inch LCD tv, going out and getting laid, preferably with the current partner's best friend and if all else fails a couple of straight vodka's will do the trick. But I would settle for indifference and sex with someone else I call it subtle revenge.

Best advice of the year!!!!

[velvety]

been broken up with her since gawd....end of jan.....didnt really work did it....nevermind....im hoping that i pluck up the courage to start dating and going out soon....

[xxxVioletxxx]

Whether it's trying something new or getting back out there and meeting women again, just get out there and do it girl! I finally took that advice from a friend a while ago and it's been great! Haven't met the right girl yet, but I've made some friends and had funon the way, doing things I was scared to do, like abseiling to Salsa to paintball. There is nothing to lose, and shiteloads to learn and gain.
Best of luck chick.

[naughtylion]

I find a good dose of indifference helps. Cry in secret never show anger or hurt, just complete and utter indifference. Also travelling overseas, buying myself presents such as a 42 inch LCD tv, going out and getting laid, preferably with the current partner's best friend and if all else fails a couple of straight vodka's will do the trick. But I would settle for indifference and sex with someone else I call it subtle revenge.

I think you might be funny! I've been stalking ur posts and I think I like you...

[gold_femme]

I think you might be funny! I've been stalking ur posts and I think I like you...

yeh number one fan right here

[naughtylion]

yeh number one fan right here

:)

[Prescotwench]

Thank Gawd someone has recognised my humour. Usually gets me into all sorts of trouble.

[Happy to be me]

Awesome advice guys!!
I hope velvety is feeling better.
xo

[velvety]

yep feel fine thanks hun!!!! that was such a while back....yet to get back into the dating scene not particually intrested i must say...happy in my singledom...