what to do?

[circus jane]

hey ladies

this is my first time posting on here, so go easy with me!

my first post is really a question. you see, my flatmate has this new girlfriend - they're not really a couple just yet but heading that way from the looks of things. my dilema is about whether i think this new girl is suitable for my flatmate. she's not really the type of woman my flatmate has attracted in the past and she's really messy and her appearance is poor.

i'm concerned that my flatmate is making a big mistake - what do i do?

thanks for your time,

jane

[gold_femme]

brilliant first post! oooo i love it.

1. are you absolutley sure you dont fancy your flatmate? ive been a part of some pretty weird shared household dynamics before so im just gonna throw this out there.

2. if you think your friend can do better but doesnt have the self esteem to realise it then definitely step in and say something - i would have a few wines and casually mention that she could do waaaay better. its also best to say something then let it become some kind of toxic underlying tension to your house.

3. you sure you dont fancy your flatmate? :) ok just being cheeky now.

the above opinions represent my thoughts at this 5 minutes in time, feel free to cast them aside or take on word for word and action accordingly.

xxx

[xxxVioletxxx]

Hello and welcome to you, circus jane.

I agree with gold_femme about avoiding the tension part in a shared household. It can make things really unpleasant.

Does this messy, unkept girl treat your friend well? Does she seem like a nice, funny or interesting person? If the answer's no, then you should definitely say something. Kindly let your flatmate know your opinion and that you are concerned about her. I'm not sure how I would phrase it, but it's best to look out for your friend.

[circus jane]

thanks for your responses so far!

firstly, no, I do not fancy my flatmate - i'm happy with my girlfriend and my flatmate is not nearly the same (in oh so many ways ;-) ). secondly, the girl in question has also become quite rude lately. when a very good friend of mine was over a few days ago, he found my flatmate's new squeeze quite dismissive and confrontational. he spoke to me about it the next day and expressed similar concerns to mine.

now, i'm waiting until she says or does something similar with me. and then i might take your advice and have a quiet word...

hmmmmm, what to do?

[gold_femme]

eugh she sounds like trouble. you definitely need to say something soon to your flatmate..

many many years ago i was having a (straight) fling with someone all of my friends hated. i didnt know it at the time and when we broke up my friends all came forward saying - oh yeh he was not good, you shouldnt have been with him - we didnt like you with him etc etc. the fact that my friends didnt say anything earlier to prevent my pain, hurt me more than the silly boy did. in fact most of those 'friends' are no longer.

so i guess, if you care about her - say something say something..even if she dismisses it she will appreciate it later on.

xxx

[girlsOngirls]

so i guess, if you care about her - say something say something..even if she dismisses it she will appreciate it later on.


yes, i agree. if i was with someone terrible id want my mates to tell me.