Gay boys and relationships...

[robbie]

My gay Melbourne friends, god bless their cotton socks, keep me entertained with boy stories all week long.. one day all 5 of my gay besties are dating the love of their life, the next week, they're all in tears because it didn't work out.. I give them the same advice week in week out - TAKE IT SLOW but they never listen...

Why do gay boys leap into new relationships with full gusto and then wonder 3 weeks later why it didn't last? could it be that seeing someone EVERY DAY for 3 weeks straight is an unhealthy start?

Derr...

[jackie87]

Because they all want to get to test drive the car before they buy it and ending having not enough driving skills so they end up crashing it into a telephone pole. (interesting analogy)

[timmeyboy]

I guess it depends on the situation.
When I met my fella we were fruit picking, we stayed in the same hostel, in the same room and worked on the same farm, we spent every minute together and when we left Mildura and came to Melb we got a place together.
It's been easy for us although sometimes it's good to have a bit of space and luckily work provides that so when we get home it's good to see each other.
But I guess it's different for everyone, I have to say that if I was back int eh Uk living a normal life I wouldn't have been in that situation but I don't regret any of it.

[robbie]

lol Jackie... great analogy.. some of these boys shouldn't even have their licence!

Timmey, yeah your circumstance is different - different country, hardly know anyone else, very honeymoonish...

[timmeyboy]

Gee thanks!!!!!!
I'm sure there was a compliment in there somewhere beneath off the cynicism hehehehe

[robbie]

i always have a compliment for you sonny Tim.. I guess you 2 are the exception to the rule! :-)

[timmeyboy]

Aww your sweet Robbie baby!!

MWAH xxxxxx

[Cheetah77]

I agree with you Robbie - I've seen the very same thing from a number of my seemingly eternally single friends... they go along for a while getting their bits out all over town then they meet a boy.

They then see that particular boy every day for a few weeks (sometimes more) and like your friends, soon wonder why the "spark has gone" or they've done everything in bed... is it any wonder that a lot of guys who do this feel like they're being smothered or have lost their individuality? Of course not! You've basially changed your whole life in a matter of weeks or months - of course you're going to freak out and rebel against it once you realise what you've done.

I tell them all that it's like having a new toy - the more you play with it, the less special it is and you soon get over it. My advice to anyone entering into a relationship is always to take it slowly and get to know each other properly before jumping in heels and all. Don't invade their life and don't let them take over yours - your individuality is too precious to throw away.

I even recommend abstaining (shock, horror, gasp!) from sex for a while while you work out if it's going to go anywhere so you don't fall into the trap of building a relationship around sex and then fall into a heap when the flames start to lose their heat a little.

Build the relationship with a solid base of friendship first, and you'll be in a much stronger position to work through any issues that come up together, rather than feeling that the person is part of the problem and resenting them for taking your freedom away...

[cheyne67]

I even recommend abstaining (shock, horror, gasp!) from sex for a while

Abstaining from sex???? Im not familiar with this term sorry. Is it anything like abseiling? If so i will have to reinforce the bedroom ceiling to accommodate the harness:)

[robbie]

Great advice Cheetah, if only they would listen.. I guess they'll learn as they get older and hopefully realise their strategy is eternally flawed..

I've definitely abstained for a week or so when I've really like the guy.. makes it so much hotter when you're gagging for it.. hehe...

ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS CHEYNE...

[GenesisInVain]

No sex, no play, makes Jack Gay a dull boy.

My response to this is that, we gay boys just love the fact that we can show off our brand new 'Ken'. The fact that we have that someone to whinge to, to 'play' with, to cuddle and all the things you do as a couple...is such a great feeling. It keeps you satisfied unless you have a wondering eye or COMMITMENT issues. But with the state of the GAY WORLD at the moment, the notion of gay lovefools rushing in is commonplace, as we haven't had that significant history of an entrenched, established relationship. What I am trying to say is, we haven't had those 'model relationships' to model our relationships on. If we tried with a heterosexual couple (aka Adam and Eve) it just wouldn't work because the fact is, they aren't gay!

And to the point about gays boys never listening, when do we ever?
Society says: "Straight is the way to go"
GAY community: "FUCK NO! PRIDE"
Get?

In conclusion, my response to: 'Why do gay boys leap into new relationships with full gusto and then wonder 3 weeks later why it didn't last?' can be summarised as its just the way we've been socialised. For most of us, being gay and not out was unstable, relationships wheter the one night fuck or the 4 years of commitment offers us stability.

ANSWER: Stability.

I Swear I don't make sense.

Feel like I've written a HSC essay!

[Thatguy]

Great point Robbie - and I think your right about taking your time - Relationships can be great, they can also be the cause of a lot of heartache.

Here is a recipe for a great gay relationship

Ingredients
2 Sparkling eyes
2 Cups of laughter
also it is good to have a firm banana

Directions:
Just like cooking risotto, keep the heat low and steady. Take your time, add the ingredients and stir. If you turn up the heat too quickly - you will burn everything.

A relationship is like a little plant, when it starts it is very special, but fragile and over time with some sunshine it can grow into a huge tree. So, it take time and keeping the heat low and steady will ensure that you have the best chance of success.

P.S. My boyfriend made risotto last night, and it was just perfect (just like him).

[pinkyboisyd]

I always reckon that gay boys date the opposite way to straight people

Straight People-

You meet, you date, it works. You Fuck. Everyones happy.

Gay People-

You Fuck, you fuck, you fuck.... You Learn his name. It doesn't work, you fuck - you part ways.

Lesbians-

You date, you have sex once, you get married. You buy a cat...



But personally give me a date over a fuck any day.... but i'm a hopeless romantic..

[Brad]

Yeah the key is to take it slowly. When graham and I first met he suggested that we go "back to his house" - I was like "sorry im here with my friends tonight" so just pashed him in the middle of stonewall with friends cheering me on.! :)

We swapped business cards but I lost his and he didn't call. *grrr* Anyway it was about a month later and a mate and I were downstairs at ARQ getting very drunk. Anyway Graham rocked up (also drunk) and I realised who he was but couldn't remember his name, age, job.. anything really just that I wanted to get into his pants. :D My friend came to the rescue and got us chatting and before too long I had at my place naked in bed. *yippee*.

After that night we then started "dating" . We went on a serious of dinners, movies, had DVD's at home and strangely enough very little sex - not that I wasnt trying, but the timing was always a little out as I was always having to work at a club or party or event or something.

It wasnt until Sleaze Ball weekend that we decided that we were both having lots of fun, had been dating, "doing" and were really liking spending time with each other so we decided to progress things. From us meeting to saying we were boyfriends was about two months.

This Sleaze Ball marks 6 years of "doing" and still no regrets.

We are though somewhat strange to some boys as we don't live together, we are 5 mins walk away from each other and spend a fair amount of time at each others places but we both have great flatmates that we don't want to give up. He lives in a great terrace house, I live in a fab apartment. Eventually we would live to live together but see no reason to do anything whilst we are enjoying living with our house/flat mates.

[jackie87]

No sex, no play, makes Jack Gay a dull boy.


I can tell you from first hand experience that has been quite true at the moment lol

[meezon04]

Lesbians-

You date, you have sex once, you get married. You buy a cat...


LMAO!! Maybe i should show this to the girls next door

[jackie87]

What about you harass some dumb young gay guy to donate his sperm and have a child............maybe a little harsh