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DanM82
13th August 2007, 10:00 AM
I was game (and in reflection stupid) enough to log into a chat room over the weekend. From the half hour I spent in there (I logged out because my eyes were bleeding), I noticed a few things:

I remember when I started chatting and to find out about someone you had to type A/S/L. Being that I wasn't in it for anything more than a chat I generally ignored them and said I was only chatting. They ignored me after that. Chatting in a chat room - ABSURD!

Since the days of ASL, we have no advanced forwards into the days of profiles. Some of these profiles are humorous, some are erotic and others just obscene. Though I must say, I did find others hypocritical. "No Pic, No Pvt". Sweet, I'm in. Granted my picture is about 6 months old, I don't have that hair cut any more and those sunglasses got broken but that's beside the point. I opened the profile... there was nothing there. All the answers were "prefer not to say" and the picture was a nice generic one provided by the site.

I started to chat to one guy and we eventually took it onto msn and continued to chat. Same pic in there as in chat. We were both bored and decided getting out of the four walls and having coffee would be ideal. I got there first and secured my usual table (the staff there know me by latte size and amount of sugar) and waited. He arrived. What was with the pic? Was it like 10 years old? Instead of this average build guy, I was confronted by a bohemoth with bleached orange hair and a shirt was accentuating the swell of his gut rather than his chest. We chatted and it was quite light and politically correct. He tried to rub his foot against my leg and my jeans started to corrode.

Two coffees and I "oh course I'll give you a call" while conveniently forgetting to get his number, I ran for my life. I think I took out two Asians, a small child and side of a mini van making my escape. I got back inside the unit and leant my back against the door, chest heaving. After doing domestics, I went back near my computer and there was an email "that was fun, again sometime. You forgot to get my number it's xxxx xxx xxx". Shit, power failure - dammit, lost the email.

I decided to log into a different chat site and read some of the profile names like youngnslim and cutebeachguy and sexcman. My God! What is the ACCC's number? FALSE ADVERTISING! One I think was my coffee friend (term used loosely) with a more recent photo, the beach one looked like that albino from The Cell (y'know the Jennifer NOpez thriller) and had most likely thought that going to the beach consisted of going to his sandpit out the back wearing SPF 90+ and the sprinkler going. Sexcman... don't let me start. I'm sure he WAS sexc... maybe in 1940.

I was flattered by all these men privating me... could one of them please be sub 40, have a photo that was taken within the last 12 months or have some sort of skin pigmentation? Am I asking too much? I'm not as discerning as others, a pulse would be good. Personality a plus but not essential and looks... well... they all look the same face first in the pillow.

This was a rant designed for some reason, I have no idea what it is now but I've finished... now please, profiles aren't scary. They're quite easy to write (if not, see an arts student - they can BS anything) and given mobile phones and digital cameras these days - pictures aren't all that hard to get hold of.

By the way my answer to A/S/L... legal/not if you're offering/at home.

meezon04
13th August 2007, 10:18 AM
I'm not as discerning as others, a pulse would be good. Personality a plus but not essential and looks... well... they all look the same face first in the pillow.



LMAO

Awww you poor guy! :P People hang out in chatroom's for a reason. Hot guys generally don't associate the word(s) 'chatroom' with getting laid, they are usually out there launting what they got.
Sometimes you can get lucky though.

Good luck in future!

Cheetah77
13th August 2007, 11:41 AM
:) thanks for the laugh Dan... I remember those feelings all too well from my days trawling "those sites" just looking for ppl to chat to. Especially relate to thinking "Who's mirror were you using" when ppl's profile names include the words "cute", "hot" or "boi". Most of the time "cute" means has more than 3 teeth, "hot" means he's had a haircut in the last 6 weeks and "boi" means under 60.

Very occasionally you find someone decent to have a conversation with and even rarer when you can take it into the real world and not only do they look exactly as their picture, but they can speak with any level of intelligence as well!

Good luck Dan but my advice is to stay in here where it's not so scary, people have opinions and personalities and they generally have some idea about the real world as well!

GenesisInVain
13th August 2007, 11:44 AM
yay! we're sane people *shifty eyes*

Cheetah77
13th August 2007, 11:52 AM
I didn't say that Genesis...

GenesisInVain
13th August 2007, 11:57 AM
true. some of us are not sane

DanM82
13th August 2007, 12:50 PM
true. some of us are not sane

Of course where some of us are insane, others are neurotic and others slightly deranged.

People in whole see what they want to see, do what they want to do and be who they want to be. That's a song isn't it?

So now to rebutt the other comments:
Meezono - duly noted and I'm sure that there are the occasionally good looking (or hot) guys in chat rooms flaunting it. Then there's the rest of us.

Cheetah - I love the chatroom meanings... they are usually thoroughly amusing:
*Do you chat here often - have you heard about my reputation yet?
*I like reading - I have a copy of the Gay Karma Sutra, want to help me try some of it out
*I live being outdoors - I'm into public sex
*I like all sorts of movies - As long as the guys are cute, naked and in a bedroom
*What do you like to do - Are you a top or bottom?
*Are you here for long - That way no one will know if I add you to my list of random roots
*I'm here for friends - with benefits of course
*Do you want to meet for coffee - We can make our own whipped cream

Ok that maybe that was a little cynical...

robbie
13th August 2007, 01:02 PM
too funny DanM82 - I still say meeting people in a non-cyber gay environment is the way to go... the eyes never lie...

mjm078
13th August 2007, 01:41 PM
I agree Robbie - I would love to hear from any one on same same that met their beau in a chatroom......for that matter has anyone actually tried their luck here on samesame??

I would say 99.99999999% of gay men only use chatrooms to pick up a quick one.......

DanM82
13th August 2007, 02:05 PM
too funny DanM82 - I still say meeting people in a non-cyber gay environment is the way to go... the eyes never lie...

Before or after how many cockatils?

MelbLouie
13th August 2007, 02:22 PM
See sometimes it's hard to find a genuine people on profiles and chatrooms.

I wanted to meet and make friends via here but liek mjm07 says most are after a quickie.

It's sometimes more harder if you are disabled or hearing impaired. I am honest with my profiles and when i first started years ago, I mentioned i was hearing impaired in my profile, i didnt get much response. However when i decided to rid of the words hearing impaired off my profile and i got MORE responses!!! I was like this sucks!

Also i once chatted to few guys in a chatroom and when i mentioned i was hearing impaired soem were rude and just ended teh conversations even though it went well. One even swore at me. I was really offended.

Thankfully these days it didnt happen,and i am slowly meeting nice people and making friends.

DanM82
13th August 2007, 02:26 PM
Also i once chatted to few guys in a chatroom and when i mentioned i was hearing impaired soem were rude and just ended teh conversations even though it went well. One even swore at me. I was really offended.

Isn't it delightful we're a caring and accepting community. That really sucks Louie, sorry to hear you went through it.

MelbLouie
13th August 2007, 02:30 PM
Dan,

Thanks mate.

Yeah. it was horrible time then but i got over it. Now i just let it go. It's not worth crying about. All i know is there are nice fellas waiting for me.

:D

hazyinseptember
13th August 2007, 06:29 PM
dunno what chat rooms you guys are hanging around in..

i tend to meet pretty nice people usually in chat.. lots of friends and current contacts actually

even the lovely guy im seeing i first spoke to in a chat!!!

i have three general rules for weeding out bullshit and wankers
1) talk to them MORE THAN ONCE..
2) make sure that if your not looking for a hookup you have it in your profile.. and make sure people know when asking you for a hookup ( " what? cant you read profiles? " is always good! )
3) yes there are rude, ignorant liars out there who have nothing better to do than prentend and cause trouble.. but there are also plenty of people who just want to chat with someone else..

DanM82
13th August 2007, 07:37 PM
Louie...
It helps to remember that for all of us, Mr. Right is out there, he's just taking his time and hiding under a rock. Mine's probably stuck under a boulder knowing my luck the silly prick.

Glad to hear that you haven't let the pass wear on your current and future.

Thatguy
13th August 2007, 10:36 PM
A little less conversation, a little more action, sang Elvis Presley

Lots of guys say that friendship or a relationship is their main goal on their profiles, not just sex

Liars.

I am not saying you can't find a relationship in a chatroom, but it's a bit like watching a porn DVD and expecting to see Dreamgirls.

Are most site useful for anything more than just ...what you want, when you want it? Regardless of how many bad dates, strange hookups, hours of advice from friends - some of us continue to try the online world hoping for a relationship. However, I think there is a simple rule - nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Regardless of the envionment, meeting and connecting with someone is going to take effort, time and emotional energy. I met my current boyfriend online, and he is a delightful guy. However, I did kiss quite a few frogs before we met.

You can meet someone special online, but it is the real world where the magic happens.

DanM82
14th August 2007, 02:47 PM
I've read the posts on here and it's taken me the better part of the day to try and decide how to reply.

When I started this thread, it was not to make an attack or make the sweeping stereotype that men are liars. I actually meant it as a humorous anecdote and maybe prompting some people to look at their own profiles and re-evaluate.

You're dead right ThatGuy... a little less conversation, a little more action... wouldn't that be a good incentive to make sure that profiles are up to date? After all, when you knock on the front door you'll either be welcomed in or it will be slammed in your face.

There are, believe it or not, people who go into those chat rooms to *near faints* chat and make friends. I know, absurd as it sounds, it's true.

The other point of the thread was that we are now past the age of ASL... we are in the age of profiles... fill it out. I put time and thought into my profile and I get a touch miffed when people ask me questions which are clearly spelt out in my profile. I don't expect a literary prize for it. Some appreciation for the fact that effort was made and actually reading it wouldn't go astray. If you want my stats (should we be on one of those sites), I've already detailed them for you. If you want to chat... Sweet! What's interesting in your life. Cars? Football?... ok, you haven't read the profile either where it kinda indicates that I'm more likely to be a library than a football stadium.

So guys, why not try it. Go to your profiles here on samesame, gaydar, gay.com, manhunt, dudesnude or whatever else you may be on and look at your profile. Is it up to date? Is the photo within the last 12 months? Does it reflect who you really are? Just some thoughts... who knows, that one final intelligent thing you have in your profile may be the difference between being trade and being a husband.

Cheetah77
14th August 2007, 04:46 PM
Dan, good call re updating your profile every now and then! None of us stay the same and our profiles shouldn't either!

I went through and updated mine and gave it a bit of a boost a few weeks ago and intend to do it every couple of months or whenever the feeling takes me!

I'd encourage all of you to do the same and actually read everyones profile now and then... What you may have read on someone's profile a few months ago may have changed and you could find that they now have new interests or things in common with you that they didn't have before... and ditto on the pics too... if you have a new look, hairstyle or whatever, update update update!