BGF Admin
6th March 2009, 12:15 PM
Tell Your Story (Continued from Bobby Goldsmith Foundation)
This is a continuation of the Tell Your Story thread posted on the Bobby Goldsmith Foundation Forum.
To read all previous post go here ( http://www.bgf.org.au/board/viewtopic.php?f=82&t=354)
The last eight posts to this thread were:
From Dithche on Thu 06 Nov, 2008 02:24 pm -
Thought I would tell my story about living with Hiv and this looks like the prefect place to give my 5 cents worth! I was diagnosed with Hiv back in 1985 after having a routine blood test with my then current boyfriend. I remember thinking what if he tests postive as he had visited the states, how would I feel(remember this was a long time ago and fear was rife) as it turned out I was the postive one and he was negetive. I remember the doctor calling me in to weigh me and not my partner which seemed strange..... He then called us both in to the office and I saw this pamplet with a red cover on his desk and my blood ran cold!( Iwas reading this pamplet while I was waiting and it said 'what if you test positive') A horrible day and we were both in shock for a few days after that, however he was supportive and it helped me in the years to come.Went back a couple of weeks later and had more tests and was heathly and I virtually put it out of my mind( for a while anyway)
I continued to work full time for the next 12 years feeling like I had this terrible secret and lived in fear evertime I saw that ad on Tv with bowling balls... and who remembers the cover of Time with a red cover saying something about Aids.
My friends started dropping off like flys and it was a stressful time thinking I was going to be next! Every cough or cold I thought it was going to be the end, I had seen my friends go in and out of hospital getting thinner right before your eyes, it was truly a horrific time, like walking on egg shells every time I thought about it!I lost some of my dearest and nearest friends, boy I could do with them now..... Made it thru to the mid 90s, although I had a lot of rashes and other strange things happening, I then started to lose weight and nothing I could do would put it back on, the doctor gave me a prescription for AZT and toyed with the idea of taking it, but had a bad feeling after seeing my friends do badly ( such high dosages back then) I left work cos I just couldn't get up any more and spend 10 hours on my feet. The Doctor put me on the DSP and I thought this is the end of the line...
Then the triple thearpy came along and changed every thing, put the weight back on and had a new lease of life, and for the first time felt happy and contented, been able to stay ( and afford) my beautiful apartment in the eastern subs.
Met a guy in a similiar circumstance and thru good management and a bit of luck bought a small property up in the northern rivers. A big and scary move but thought why not, spend the rest of our days in the beautiful country...
Fast foward to present time.... Athough I love my little property I do miss the fun of the big city, people are harder to get on with I find, and are now quite isolated, people seemed to get bored with each other faster up here, maybe because there is less to do and talk about, I also think the "alternate nature" of many people lends to more arguments and generally harder to get on( I say thats black, no its white type thing)I dont mind people having a diferent point of view but can;t help think it just people wanting to be " little Miss difference" and be contary to any thing I say..
Discrimation is alive and well in the gay community up here and puts me off socialising, the reality is I couldn't afford to move back and couldn't cope with Sydney which would have changed since I lived there 10 years ago. I am a different person nowdays, little stuff upsets me now, people hard to talk to and generally little fun is had. I dread to think what changes are ahead for people in my position( I have a morgage) and wouldn't be able to cope very well if I lost the DSP. Peer support is non exist for me now and I miss just chilling out with like minded people who arn't too hard going...
To any one wanting a change to the country beaware of what you are giving up, there are no luncheon clubs friendly gay bars or symathic people with a kind word to say like in the city
Having said that I am always one to make the best of what one has got and enjoy the small things in life, Pets hobbies and the fact I am still here after years of fear and struggles with keeping alive!
From northernnick on Fri 07 Nov, 2008 10:35 am -
Hi Dithche,
Gr8 to read your story m8........
Were you aware that we do have a luncheon club up here that has been meeting every fortnight for the past year? It is a community venture and self funded and acon kindly handle our funds for us till we get better organised........If you would like to attend just call Neil@acon 0266221555 for location details......Acon has also been running peer support group meetings too for the past 5 months.............Neil can advise you on those too. Maybe a good idea to get on a mailing list for rainbow news (acon's news letter) so you can get some info about what's happening in the area..............Don't know how far from town you are but for me I'm 44klm from Lismore and although it's only a 35min drive many other locals think it's very isolated......guess up here if you don't meet people with reliable vehicles you probably won't see them that often as there is little or no public transport anywhere.........There are monthly gay events at the workers workers club in Lismore too and although I don't go to them know that there is little/no homophobia in that venue.........also we have NORCOWAM which is an on line group for poz people I set up a few years ago............we have 40ish members and if you want to throw a bbque and meet a few people you can just post details on there and every one gets notified...........let me know if you like to join up with us.
Think distances up here are more of an issue for people trying to maintain friendships rather than just boredom......As you say most people up here are leading their own alternative lifestyles which can lead to disagreements ................For people on low incomes this area is only going to get more challenging..............Moving back to sydney is not financially viable for many and relocating up here in the rental market is incredibly difficult........I have thought a few times of moving into town to be nearer services and social locations but due to extremely low sas ceiling levels in the 2480 postcode this is not possible as rents in town are already more than $100 per week more for two bedroom accomodation than i'm paying now......I already fork out $240 per fortnight from my pension (inc rent assistance) but would have to pay the full extra rent should move nearer town which would cause even more financial hardship than I experience now.......which although closer to a gp would further isolate me in as much that i would not be able to afford to take advantage of any of the social activities............As I said in my post I do not think that I would have survived had I not moved here all those years ago and find it sad that even poz people who have been well and working/living up here have recently left the area for health reasons and of course housing issues too........Gardening is free luckily and guess I'm lucky to have found that I can say it is now a hobby too.......the gardens here are now 14 yrs old and now established so maintainance is now minimal and find I can still get a lot done even if I only go out and spend 20 minutes a day doing something.........
We do live an area where if we want social connections/activities we have to get off our bums and create them ourselves or we will be left wanting for a very long time.........We at least do have a framework for interactivity with other poz individuals now up here in the northern rivers which is more than many rural areas of the state but as usual it is( like many social initiatives that have been put in place by organizations to address community demands over the years) under utilized at present.
Hope to catch up at an event sometime m8................There is stuff happening up here but finding out about them all is another matter entirely and feel that this forum could be of great benefit for isolated people to let others know whats happening in their region.
wishes for a good weekend,
regards,
Nickx
This is a continuation of the Tell Your Story thread posted on the Bobby Goldsmith Foundation Forum.
To read all previous post go here ( http://www.bgf.org.au/board/viewtopic.php?f=82&t=354)
The last eight posts to this thread were:
From Dithche on Thu 06 Nov, 2008 02:24 pm -
Thought I would tell my story about living with Hiv and this looks like the prefect place to give my 5 cents worth! I was diagnosed with Hiv back in 1985 after having a routine blood test with my then current boyfriend. I remember thinking what if he tests postive as he had visited the states, how would I feel(remember this was a long time ago and fear was rife) as it turned out I was the postive one and he was negetive. I remember the doctor calling me in to weigh me and not my partner which seemed strange..... He then called us both in to the office and I saw this pamplet with a red cover on his desk and my blood ran cold!( Iwas reading this pamplet while I was waiting and it said 'what if you test positive') A horrible day and we were both in shock for a few days after that, however he was supportive and it helped me in the years to come.Went back a couple of weeks later and had more tests and was heathly and I virtually put it out of my mind( for a while anyway)
I continued to work full time for the next 12 years feeling like I had this terrible secret and lived in fear evertime I saw that ad on Tv with bowling balls... and who remembers the cover of Time with a red cover saying something about Aids.
My friends started dropping off like flys and it was a stressful time thinking I was going to be next! Every cough or cold I thought it was going to be the end, I had seen my friends go in and out of hospital getting thinner right before your eyes, it was truly a horrific time, like walking on egg shells every time I thought about it!I lost some of my dearest and nearest friends, boy I could do with them now..... Made it thru to the mid 90s, although I had a lot of rashes and other strange things happening, I then started to lose weight and nothing I could do would put it back on, the doctor gave me a prescription for AZT and toyed with the idea of taking it, but had a bad feeling after seeing my friends do badly ( such high dosages back then) I left work cos I just couldn't get up any more and spend 10 hours on my feet. The Doctor put me on the DSP and I thought this is the end of the line...
Then the triple thearpy came along and changed every thing, put the weight back on and had a new lease of life, and for the first time felt happy and contented, been able to stay ( and afford) my beautiful apartment in the eastern subs.
Met a guy in a similiar circumstance and thru good management and a bit of luck bought a small property up in the northern rivers. A big and scary move but thought why not, spend the rest of our days in the beautiful country...
Fast foward to present time.... Athough I love my little property I do miss the fun of the big city, people are harder to get on with I find, and are now quite isolated, people seemed to get bored with each other faster up here, maybe because there is less to do and talk about, I also think the "alternate nature" of many people lends to more arguments and generally harder to get on( I say thats black, no its white type thing)I dont mind people having a diferent point of view but can;t help think it just people wanting to be " little Miss difference" and be contary to any thing I say..
Discrimation is alive and well in the gay community up here and puts me off socialising, the reality is I couldn't afford to move back and couldn't cope with Sydney which would have changed since I lived there 10 years ago. I am a different person nowdays, little stuff upsets me now, people hard to talk to and generally little fun is had. I dread to think what changes are ahead for people in my position( I have a morgage) and wouldn't be able to cope very well if I lost the DSP. Peer support is non exist for me now and I miss just chilling out with like minded people who arn't too hard going...
To any one wanting a change to the country beaware of what you are giving up, there are no luncheon clubs friendly gay bars or symathic people with a kind word to say like in the city
Having said that I am always one to make the best of what one has got and enjoy the small things in life, Pets hobbies and the fact I am still here after years of fear and struggles with keeping alive!
From northernnick on Fri 07 Nov, 2008 10:35 am -
Hi Dithche,
Gr8 to read your story m8........
Were you aware that we do have a luncheon club up here that has been meeting every fortnight for the past year? It is a community venture and self funded and acon kindly handle our funds for us till we get better organised........If you would like to attend just call Neil@acon 0266221555 for location details......Acon has also been running peer support group meetings too for the past 5 months.............Neil can advise you on those too. Maybe a good idea to get on a mailing list for rainbow news (acon's news letter) so you can get some info about what's happening in the area..............Don't know how far from town you are but for me I'm 44klm from Lismore and although it's only a 35min drive many other locals think it's very isolated......guess up here if you don't meet people with reliable vehicles you probably won't see them that often as there is little or no public transport anywhere.........There are monthly gay events at the workers workers club in Lismore too and although I don't go to them know that there is little/no homophobia in that venue.........also we have NORCOWAM which is an on line group for poz people I set up a few years ago............we have 40ish members and if you want to throw a bbque and meet a few people you can just post details on there and every one gets notified...........let me know if you like to join up with us.
Think distances up here are more of an issue for people trying to maintain friendships rather than just boredom......As you say most people up here are leading their own alternative lifestyles which can lead to disagreements ................For people on low incomes this area is only going to get more challenging..............Moving back to sydney is not financially viable for many and relocating up here in the rental market is incredibly difficult........I have thought a few times of moving into town to be nearer services and social locations but due to extremely low sas ceiling levels in the 2480 postcode this is not possible as rents in town are already more than $100 per week more for two bedroom accomodation than i'm paying now......I already fork out $240 per fortnight from my pension (inc rent assistance) but would have to pay the full extra rent should move nearer town which would cause even more financial hardship than I experience now.......which although closer to a gp would further isolate me in as much that i would not be able to afford to take advantage of any of the social activities............As I said in my post I do not think that I would have survived had I not moved here all those years ago and find it sad that even poz people who have been well and working/living up here have recently left the area for health reasons and of course housing issues too........Gardening is free luckily and guess I'm lucky to have found that I can say it is now a hobby too.......the gardens here are now 14 yrs old and now established so maintainance is now minimal and find I can still get a lot done even if I only go out and spend 20 minutes a day doing something.........
We do live an area where if we want social connections/activities we have to get off our bums and create them ourselves or we will be left wanting for a very long time.........We at least do have a framework for interactivity with other poz individuals now up here in the northern rivers which is more than many rural areas of the state but as usual it is( like many social initiatives that have been put in place by organizations to address community demands over the years) under utilized at present.
Hope to catch up at an event sometime m8................There is stuff happening up here but finding out about them all is another matter entirely and feel that this forum could be of great benefit for isolated people to let others know whats happening in their region.
wishes for a good weekend,
regards,
Nickx