Should We Be Given The Right To Breed?

[Christian Taylor]

The spotlight on gay parenting continues this month. All families - not just gay families - take many forms, and while it's hard to argue against gay couples fostering and adoption children, things get a little blurrier when it comes to us having babies of our own. (http://www.samesame.com.au/features/1334/Why_Are_We_Breeding)

It begs the question - should gays and lesbians be given the rights to breed using IVF?

[Tim D]

Fascinating article Christian, you raise some really valid points - is all of our equality fighting pushing us back in the other direction?

[robbie]

Awesome article Christian.. you've put it into a different perspective for me.. made me think.. to rebut your innate biological limitations argument it could be said that if god didn't want lesbians to have children he/she wouldn't have given them a uterus! :)

[Christian Taylor]

oh come on, it takes a little more than a uterus to make a baby robbie.

[MattH]

Very good article, and I guess the point that stood out for me is the lack of rights that could fall on us (again)(and that is not to sound like an "us" and "them" scenario), with custody issues. It is all well and good to make the decision of having a child, but where do we stand when it all turns sour (I don't mean that to sound inevitable). Also, it's a concern when the talk is focusing on the process, but not as much with the outcomes. I say this with little knowledge so it may be a naive point of view. Anyway, a good read all the samesame. :)

[alikat]

hmmm... This is a sticky one... i see IVF (originally) as an invention of 'last resort' for straight people having fertility issues who want to have a baby 'of their own'... so maybe, if we're talking about population 'au naturale', IVF shouldn't really be granted to anyone... Should it? Are straight people not playing 'God' by using IVF, also? Is an infertile straight woman or a sterile straight man in any different position than a gay or lesbian person wanting to have a child 'of their own'? Tricky-tricky...

I am of the opinion that the world is already over-populated and we don't need me to add to the problem out of vanity - which is, really, what it is in this day and age while the earth is struggling to feed the people here already, and while there are SO MANY kids out there without parents to love and raise them. I am in a position where it will never be a mistake to have a baby. And I feel I have more of an obligation to really think my options through before taking the plunge.

( Sorry if that comment offends anyone - its worth a thorough think through, tho.)

[Jody Ekert]

I agree with Alicat. IVF for all or IVF for none. I could cope with no IVF as an option if it was also taken away from those straight old farts who are having kids in their 50s.

After all us gals with the uterus can still find a way to get pregnant - most lesbian couples don't even go the IVF path, but rather just artificial insemination with sperm injecting at the right time of month.

But what would the straight folks to instead? If there was no IVF it would be really funny having them turn to our community for advice on turkey basters and donor rights.

[timmeyboy]

I'm not maternal/paternal at all, to me there is nothing worse than a child crying and not in a Ahhh makes me wanna pick it up way. But i understand that for some reason people want them. I don't see why, we're not meant to add to the population, we're natures birthcontrol, we can't add to the population so we kinda help keep the numbers down. I understand adoption, some really tough kids out there need a hand etc but then again I guess it's personal choice. I agree with the option for people if they want it but I don't see why having a child is such a big deal - except when it comes to your bank balance!

[Jody Ekert]

I don't agree with the argument about us being nature's way of keeping population down. Say we really are 10% of the worlds population of 6.7 billion. So that is like 670 000 000 of us not breeding. Do you really think that will make any impact on the other 6.03 billion breeders? It makes no logical sense.

There have been some studies that attempted to prove being gay as a bonus for passing on DNA. If gay folk don't breed, the theory goes, then they are more likely to take an interest in close family offspring - nieces and nephews perhaps. Which means there are more adults around to look after these kids then just Mum and Dad. So when a lion comes to snatch a kid from the cave for lunch Mum, Dad and Gay Uncle all react. Kid is saved and goes on to pass on his DNA - and maybe the gay DNA bit as well so the next generation has more adults to look after kids and thus it becomes a trait that is selected for.

Personally I reckon if that is a true theory of evolution of the gay gene it's probably not serving us that well any longer. We don't really live in extended families any more and I'm not sure how many of us are molding our lives around helping to raise our nieces and nephews!

[alikat]

that's interesting, Jody, and makes sense.
i had a Great Aunt (sister of my Nan) who never had kids (she wasn't gay, tho - its a whole 'nutha kettle of fish) and she really had a major hand in raising my mum and uncle, and in turn she became like a second maternal grandmother figure to us. She had disciplinary rights as well as all the fun stuff and she had a huge influence on me and there is a definite imprint of that influence in the 'who' that i am today.
i think i am aspiring to take her path and be the Aunty who teaches everyone how to use the lawn mower, or lets them run loose with the paddock basher up on the farm, or takes everyone to Bingo on Wednesday nights with the other 'old chooks', but is still in reach of the reigns if any slack needs to be taken up.

[vikkieh]

As a lesbian mother, in my experience its very hard for the children of a same sex couple. Society does not accept, and the children do get picked on. The nightmare of putting next of kin, and who is the mother can be fraught with problems. Most schools dont want to know, and many other parents stop children from socialising. Although these things can be overcome, they need to be part of the decision making process.

[vikkieh]

As a lesbian mother, in my experience its very hard for the children of a same sex couple. Society does not accept, and the children do get picked on. The nightmare of putting next of kin, and who is the mother can be fraught with problems. Most schools dont want to know, and many other parents stop children from socialising. Although these things can be overcome, they need to be part of the decision making process.

[fcukmy318i]

As a gay father, I have no friggin clue as to what Vikkieh, is talking about...especially when it comes to your children being picked on... Maybe you are in the wrong community.... My kids are well adjusted and so is there school life - my sons grade 1 class even taking the liberty to learn more about familes - having Gay parents is soon becomeing no less than having seperated parents or living with an extended family... My sons class mates actually becoming jelous of him while making Fathers Day gifts cause he had 3 Dads to make things for.... Its not offen you get that - or get to live and have all 3 of us in your life. Maybe i am a little luckier than some....