that's all good 'n' well, but WHAT ABOUT THE DOLPHINS????????????????

Quote:

Ridonculous wasn't made up by your son, sorry Moonbeam!
Also, isn't your 'Jillilquy' the exact same as a soliloquy, it's never been specifically used just for a male..

So the use of an exclamation mark wasn't intended to be rude?
Do you really believe that?
Who else did you mock in this thread?

Moonbeam, I can't see how it could be conceived as rude
Let's move on, eh?

If automatic spell check wasn't available, i would be a much worse speller... As for auto correct, well i think that has already proved it's fairly shit!
Despite spell check, i still get caught out . . . all the time

Holy crap that poem was long.

I got to 'Balmoral' and decided that being able to say I'd pronounced every word correct wasn't worth the hard slog.

AVOIDABLE: What a bullfighter tries to do

BERNADETTE: The act of torching a mortgage

BURGLARIZE: What a crook sees with

COUNTERFEITERS:Workers who put together kitchen cabinets

ECLIPSE: What an English barber does for a living

EYEDROPPER: A clumsy ophthalmologist

HEROES: What a guy in a boat does

LEFTBANK: What the robber did when his bag was full of money

MISTY: How golfers create divots

PARADOX: Two physicians

PARASITES: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower

PHARMACIST: A helper on the farm

POLARIZE: What penguins see with

RELIEF: What trees do in the spring

RUBBERNECK: What you do to relax your wife

SELFISH: What the owner of a seafood store does

SUDAFED: Brought litigation against a government official

If you really love tractors, and then get over it and don't like them anymore, then you're an EXTRACTOR FAN

I love this thread

If you hold your breath, it's bated. If you exhale, it's debate, and then when you breathe in again, it's rebate. If you're really good at it, you're a master bater

And if you're part of a really big argument, you're a mass debater.

Quote:

Originally Posted by megawatts

And if you're part of a really big argument, you're a mass debater.

I'll be sure to whip that out at my team's first debating meet for the year tomorrow night.
Wow, I'm cool.

Our lights went out, so we called an electrician to fix it - he re-fused

If you permanently bind two things together, they are fused. If you break them apart, they're defused. If you stick them together again, they're refused. If you hate things stuck together, you're confused. If you're one of them, you're infused.

I was just thinking about alliteration... i really like alliteration.
I don't like similes, metaphors are much better. Oh and personification is a good one too. Not a massive fan of onomatopoeia mostly because i can only think of a few examples, zip is the best, followed by drip.. or CRACK!

Crack doesn't make a sound. It's the silent killer.

LFMAO ^^^

I Love acronyms - or, as I have just discovered, chat slang

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly , adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absent-mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

That
Is
Awesome!
ALL OF IT!!!

i especially love 'ignoranus'

Guilty of Foreploy. Love Sarchasm and Intaxication hahahaha

Unfortunately sarchasm happens too often

Yeah, and especially via the ether . . .

Wonderful English from Around the World

In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Cocktail lounge , Norway :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctors office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES ..

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel , Yugoslavia :
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel , Japan :
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET
COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest :
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF
DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS
THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE..

Hotel, Zurich :
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE
BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome :
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

^ Made my day. Hah. xD I love the English language.

Yesterday a travelling companion stated she would be cross if we could not cross the crossing.