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Gay new York vs gay Sydney : the verdict is in!

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davewb +

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Default Gay new York vs gay Sydney : the verdict is in!
Sure new York has its fair share of prissie little queens wearing their fashion labels, and te usual smattering of waxed/steroid enhanced butch wannabes, but there is also a vibrant and visible culture of normal, everyday gay guys here in Chelsea. These guys are friendly!!L! My two casual hook ups ( thus far )gave me their numbers and offered to show me around. Very friendly guys.

You just don't get those nice guys in the Sydney gay scene.

So yeah, come to new York to experience a REAL gay community. It highlights how terrible and piss weak the Sydney culture is.

Sydney is like that kid at school or person at work who thnk theyre so fookng fabulous, but in reality they are the biggest dorks.

I am now ashamed to be called a Sydney sider.

Grow up Sydney queens. You're not as fab as u think u are.
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maybe you should stay there Dave.

You seem happy.

p.s. and am saying that in a nice way. You didnt seem happy here at all.
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I really wish I could!!!!!!
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def happier

you even reply to posts !
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I just find the Sydney queens very detached from any emotional connection with each other, and they seem to make themselves feel good by judging others negatively based on the most meaningless and inane reasons.

I know I've been very very mean on SS recently, but it's about time those nasty fuckers got some of their own medicine.

P.s nearly 7 am here and not a wink of sleep yet ready for a full day of touring. NY really is the city that ever sleeps lol.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by davewb View Post

Sure new York has its fair share of prissie little queens wearing their fashion labels, and te usual smattering of waxed/steroid enhanced butch wannabes, but there is also a vibrant and visible culture of normal, everyday gay guys here in Chelsea. These guys are friendly!!L!.

You just don't get those nice guys in the Sydney gay scene.

Agree - I have found the majority of gays I have met in NY way more friendly than Sydney. As you said there are still jerks there but they don't seem in the majority.
I can't tell the difference when everyone's pretending to play ball.
Now I'm all for resistance but I can't take it anymore.
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Everyone I know that goes to NYC doesnt want to come back. Id love to go. Ive been in Sydney my whole life and seen really big changes in the last 10 years and to be frank I really need to get out. It wasn't always as bad as it is now, in the 80s and 90s it was great. Not sure what happened but yep the scene here really sucks now. Not really anywhere to go out and so many deluded narcissistic bitchy queens when you do.
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Originally Posted by MyHorseLikesYou View Post

Agree - I have found the majority of gays I have met in NY way more friendly than Sydney. As you said there are still jerks there but they don't seem in the majority.

Do you think it might have something to do with the fact that your not just another New Yorker, but a quirky Aussie from down under. We seem to attract attention particularly stateside, I found Americans at home to be fucking friendly as and wanting to show off their place.

I have also heard heaps of overseas guys say how friendly Aussies are to overseas visitors.

Just saying.
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Originally Posted by flounder View Post

Do you think it might have something to do with the fact that your not just another New Yorker, but a quirky Aussie from down under. We seem to attract attention particularly stateside, I found Americans at home to be fucking friendly as and wanting to show off their place.

I have also heard heaps of overseas guys say how friendly Aussies are to overseas visitors.

Just saying.

No I think it has more to do with the fact that sydney is a boring shit hole populated by boring pretentious people. Lets face it Australia is a derivative culture. Just about everything we do is copied from the uk or usa.
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I guess it's my turn to add my experience of gay NYC and gay err Melbourne?

I'm still exploring so I don't think I can give a fair assessment yet but in one area though I've noticed a big difference - asking guys out on Grindr/Scruff.

I think I have met up (and just meeting up for coffee and/or lunch/dinner) more guys in a week here than I have in an entire year in Melbourne (for example, last year I think I may have met up less than 5 guys? 3 maybe?)

So, if by this simple comparison alone - it seems like the gay guys here are friendlier, genuine and accommodating than the gay guys in Melbourne?

Any other Melbourne dudes who's been to NYC wanna comment on this too?
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Last edited by azulmelb: 28th May 2012 at 04:50 PM

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and yet if you asked a New Yorker they would probably say that NYC guys are awful.
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Originally Posted by trina2004 View Post

and yet if you asked a New Yorker they would probably say that NYC guys are awful.

What do you mean?

Are you suggesting that the gay guys in NYC won't think their guys are any better?

Probably - I know some have said that.

I'm in NYC now (possibly my last day couchsurfing on the Upper East Side )and I could ask around...

Gimme a set of questions anyone would like me to ask some gay or queer New Yorkers...
"Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.''
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new york has more people than sydney + melbourne

new york >2x more people than sydney + melbourne.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by trina2004 View Post

and yet if you asked a New Yorker they would probably say that NYC guys are awful.

was gonna post the same thing.

I wonder what NYC gays think of NYC gays ?

I travel a lot and have always found the tourist/accent thing always attracts more attention whether its just someone
in a shop / restaurant / bar or the gay venues.
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Agreed that anywhere you are on holiday is going to seem more fun/friendly. But if you have talked to more people in one week in NY than one year in Melbourne I think that says more about you than either place! A lot of people are more outgoing when travelling (especially alone). I am. You have to be to make the trip memorable! I don't doubt New York's gay scene is bigger and more exciting than Sydney's. It bigger and more exciting than pretty much any city in the world. But I see an awful lot of self flagellation on samesame lately about how awful gay men are and now how awful Australia is...as an Aussie who has been living overseas for the best part of decade, I would say that Australian are still friendlier than many other nationalities, and its one of the things I miss about Oz. And this constant negativity about "little queens" is rather depressing.
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Originally Posted by one aus man View Post

new york has more people than sydney + melbourne

new york >2x more people than sydney + melbourne.

This is statistically a valid point. and the fact that NYC has a higher number of not only residents but also visitors.
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Originally Posted by wysi View Post

This is statistically a valid point. and the fact that NYC has a higher number of not only residents but also visitors.

How many gay guys in NYC would be genuine 'new yorkers' and not guys who moved there in the last 2-3 years from other american cities or towns.?
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@Flounder - Very good point. I think it does have something to do with being Australian in NY to some degree but I also think it stretches a little beyond that. I mean I am just speaking from my experience but whereas the majority of people I come across in Sydney seem to be eyeing you off (& not in a good way - more a judgmental exclusionary way) I found NY'ers to be alot more open so to speak. Whether that be in regard to new experiences, "putting themselves out there" or even just being more accepting of diversity within their own community. Well it seemed that way to me. One point is that of all the guys, especially black guys I met there the general perception (stereotypically of course) was that Aussie guys have horse cocks. Maybe your rep has spread far & wide.

@Trina - too true - alot do say that - but on the other hand from my experience the majority I have met seem to have a respect for other new yorkers whether that has something to do with how hard life can be in NY or not I don't know.

@ilbonito - I personally didn't mean to generalize that Aussie/ Sydney gay men are awful. Just really what I said that I found NY'ers to be more friendly etc. Not trying to excuse but people seem to naturally complain more than they praise. I don't really think it's about being more outgoing though. Maybe the best way to describe it would be to say that (& remember my experience etc) when NY'ers find out you've just arrived in town or whatever they sort of take you "under their wing" whereas in Sydney it seems to me to be more about proving yourself or something. Personally I just found it interesting that davewb (& now Azul) had a similar experience.

@Virgindirk - Not trying to be an ass but I don't get the point. How many guys in Sydney have moved there from somewhere else?
I can't tell the difference when everyone's pretending to play ball.
Now I'm all for resistance but I can't take it anymore.

Last edited by MyHorseLikesYou: 29th May 2012 at 12:46 AM

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Originally Posted by ilbonito View Post

Agreed that anywhere you are on holiday is going to seem more fun/friendly. But if you have talked to more people in one week in NY than one year in Melbourne I think that says more about you than either place!

A lot of people are more outgoing when travelling (especially alone). I am. You have to be to make the trip memorable! I don't doubt New York's gay scene is bigger and more exciting than Sydney's. It bigger and more exciting than pretty much any city in the world. But I see an awful lot of self flagellation on samesame lately about how awful gay men are and now how awful Australia is...as an Aussie who has been living overseas for the best part of decade, I would say that Australian are still friendlier than many other nationalities, and its one of the things I miss about Oz. And this constant negativity about "little queens" is rather depressing.

Err what makes you think I've done anything different when I'm chatting with people in Melbourne and when I'm chatting with people in NY now?

I do the usual - I chat them up or they, me and I eventually tell them I prefer/love to carry the conversation and discussion in person by having coffee or a meal.

In Melbourne, last year I believe I was regularly chatting up to 15 guys over that year and it seemed like the conversation was never going to move onto real life.

Whereas last week, after a few chats - I have met up a guy living in Rego Park for lunch (originally from Texas), another guy from North Carolina living in Greenpoint and I've met up 2 Upper East Siders - one of whom invited me to hang out with him* that nite (to an underground event) even though we only chatted (for 3 hours though) earlier in the day (and no, he's not interested in me). I would have met up with more dudes but some of the guys I was chatting had gone away for the long Memorial Day weekend.

I'm not saying ALL of them jumped at the opportunity to meet up - true, some weren't interested and there are many, many douchebags and tools here as well BUT the point I was making was that it seems there were still more guys willing to meet up for coffee or hang out than the guys I was chatting in Melbourne.

You can dismiss this point all you want by attacking me but that's my experience and if you're afraid of some introspection (for your gay community in Australia), I think that says a lot more about you, doesn't it?

What is it with this attitude that some of you can't take any criticism - and some it can be taken as constructive criticism no?

Do some of you honestly believe that the gay community in Sydney and Melbourne is perfect and is beyond criticism and improvement?


*this is the guy, btw - in case some of you would suggest that he's probably decrepit and ugly and desperate enough to meet someone so soon after one long chat session...
"Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.''
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (January 15, 1929 - April 4, 1968)

Last edited by azulmelb: 29th May 2012 at 02:25 AM

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Age-ist though.
Or are you allowed to be ageist as long as you're hot?
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Originally Posted by trina2004 View Post

Age-ist though.
Or are you allowed to be ageist as long as you're hot?

Oh yeah - I just noticed that when I posted that pic. I only noticed the circ comment and messaged him about that - and that was what our 3 hour chat was about - a discussion/debate on male circumcision. He's fiercely anti-circ.

We're still discussing about it now. I'll ask him about the age thing sometime soon though...

And he's not that hot. He's fairly good looking but he's more clean cut and preppy in real life - not jockish like in the pic...
"Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.''
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (January 15, 1929 - April 4, 1968)
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Quote:

You can dismiss this point all you want by attacking me but that's my experience and if you're afraid of some introspection (for your gay community in Australia), I think that says a lot more about you, doesn't it?

I didn't attack you. I included myself in the comment that people tend to interract differently when they are travelling, thats all.
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Originally Posted by ilbonito View Post

I didn't attack you. I included myself in the comment that people tend to interract differently when they are travelling, thats all.

It seems like an attack because you just made an assumption about me and you offered the suggestion that if all the gay guys in Melbourne weren't interested in meeting up with me there must be something wrong with me.

And maybe in their eyes there is something wrong with me - maybe I'm not attractive enough for them, maybe I not interesting enough for them, etc. But whatever the reason(s) could be - they could not spare at least 15mins to have coffee with someone (and with some of these guys, I have been chatting with them for several months).

Whereas the guys I chatted with in NYC, took the chance and did.

I didn't click with all of them (the Texan guy for one) but at least they were decent enough to meet up with me even if I wasn't attractive or whatever. So what does that say about the gay guys I chatted with in Melbourne?

And again - I'm not attacking the gay guys in Melbourne (I think I said it in my first post - I'm still exploring NYC and the gay community, so I don't think I could give a fair assessment) BUT can we discuss WHY the attitudes are so different?

Like are people really that receptive to travelers/visitors?

Well, I'm not Australian - and I don't recall many gay guys on Grindr offering me to be my guide when I told them this information. So why is that?

Stop brushing aside any criticism and try to investigate if there's validity to these complaints. If people are interested in caring for one another in this community then take the time to hear people out and offer solutions - not everyone who are critical are critical because they want to tear the community down - there are those who are genuinely interested in seeing the community getting better, kinder and supportive of each other...
"Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.''
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (January 15, 1929 - April 4, 1968)

Last edited by azulmelb: 29th May 2012 at 08:39 AM

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AZ, you're just plain too intense. I almost shit myself chatting with you on Squirt. Take that as you wish.

FWIW, NY, SF, even LA gay men have been great to me every time I visited the US. God I know several American guys who live in Melbourne and they're all really REALLY nice guys.
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I can't comment about NY guys until October, but from my experience, the American guys on holiday/working in Aus tend to be pretty friendly.
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Originally Posted by Phazz View Post

I can't comment about NY guys until October, but from my experience, the American guys on holiday/working in Aus tend to be pretty friendly.

have you applied for US travel authority online?

https://esta.cbp.dhs.gov/esta/

Last edited by one aus man: 29th May 2012 at 01:17 PM

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Originally Posted by Marc View Post

AZ, you're just plain too intense. I almost shit myself chatting with you on Squirt. Take that as you wish.

FWIW, NY, SF, even LA gay men have been great to me every time I visited the US. God I know several American guys who live in Melbourne and they're all really REALLY nice guys.

Yeah - what does that means?

I'm too intense for ppl to meet up with?

So the gay guys in Melbourne are too pussy to meet up with me and the gay guys in NYC are ballsy enough to do so?

Better re-consider your statement, Marc
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Originally Posted by one aus man View Post

have you applied for US travel authority online?

https://esta.cbp.dhs.gov/esta/

Yup and already been approved. Thanks.
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I met two san fran guys around NYE and they were such nice guys. So friendly and open to chatting. It was very refreshing and unlike the very stand offish snobs in sydney who sneer at you when you try to talk to them because they are so up themselves.
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