Think about the first thought you had when you woke up this morning. Being that you're in the Ladies Lounge, it was probably something very succinct and poignant, yet damp and mooshy with feeling and flakey sentiments. It probably wasn't even your first thought of the morning, because you lie to yourself and everyone else around you. It doesn't matter - any thought will do.

Now, imagine that thought is a bird. What kind of bird is it? Is it a galah, flying up into the high branches to fluff it's feathers and chatter with its friends? Is your thought a crow, sitting on top of a rubbish bin, screaming at everyone? Or is it a flightless bird, scurrying about anxiously on the ground while it's eggs are being eaten by a stoat?

Now, imagine that bird suddenly exploding, as if it has swallowed a grenade. Bloody chunks and feathers fly in all directions. Think about the dull thud that a chunk of meat might make when hitting the ground or the wet splat of blood hitting the side of your face.

Lastly, imagine one bloodied feather, lying in a small pool of blood, next to half a beak.

My first thought was, "I'm still sick" followed by "I wonder if that new fish died over night". I think the thoughts were a pair of seaguls, trying to steal my chips and pooing on my car.

So I'm glad they exploded, they both deserved it.

Ha!