hear that mac??? causing quite a stir.... lol... work it :-)

Quote:

Originally Posted by undawundawoman

hear that mac??? causing quite a stir.... lol... work it :-)

Doing the little dance...LOL.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wonderland

Mac is such a tease! She caused major turmoil with her pic then goes back to a private profile. She'd make a good marketeer!

Hey you.

And teasing is wrong because.....???????.

Gotta a ridiculously busy day today and go figure...I am tired!

Same Same Media Player

Check On It - YouTube

Perhaps this is appropriate, Mac?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mac31

Hey you.

And teasing is wrong because.....???????.

Gotta a ridiculously busy day today and go figure...I am tired!

Nothing wrong with teasing and nothing wrong with stating facts

You're tired? How come?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bar Wench

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1dUDzBdnmI

Perhaps this is appropriate, Mac?

Gee do you think the outfit comes in pink?! LOL

Ok everybody dancin'.

Thats great Bar Wench.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wonderland

Nothing wrong with teasing and nothing wrong with stating facts

You're tired? How come?

[quote=Mac31;571403]Hey you.

And teasing is wrong because.....???????.

Gotta a ridiculously busy day today and go figure...I am tired. Meh tired shmired toughen up princess

Aww you'll be right Flound! You're a tough guy!

[quote=flounder;571615]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mac31

Hey you.

And teasing is wrong because.....???????.

Gotta a ridiculously busy day today and go figure...I am tired. Meh tired shmired toughen up princess

Lol
Big hug!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mac31

Love this - The issues arise when somebody who is comfortable in their own sexuality (whatever that may be) gets burnt emotionally by somebody who is using them as a sexual experiment.

And Love this - "I will always respect and accommodate a partner who is honest and considerate". There has to be honesty and I have found that people struggle with real honesty. To me honesty and respect go together, but then when I say that I get told I need to get "off my high horse" or I am being unrealistic. One day I hope to meet someone who just gets this.

OLD POST I KNOW BUT THIS JUST MAKES SO MUCH SENSE...
BE HONEST AND OPEN WHICH IS RESPECTFUL TO YOUR PARTNER. THEY GO HAND IN HAND

THE THINGS I SEE GO WRONG IN MY FRIENDS RELATIONSHIPS IS THE LACK OF SAFE SPACE TO SPEAK FREELY AS OFTEN BEFORE SPEAKING...THE OTHER PARTY ASSUMES A NEGATIVE OUTCOME..

There is no right or wrong in a proper relationship that is honest and respectful. Its just speaking the mind!

The thing I don't understand about the prejudice about bisexual people is I don't understand how it's any different if a bisexual leaves you for someone of the opposite sex, than it would be if a homosexual person left you for someone of the same sex. You're still being left?

I think the discrimination against bisexual people is sad. :c

Quote:

Originally Posted by ensign-charlie

The thing I don't understand about the prejudice about bisexual people is I don't understand how it's any different if a bisexual leaves you for someone of the opposite sex, than it would be if a homosexual person left you for someone of the same sex. You're still being left?

I totally agree, EC, and I wouldn't suggest that it is actually any different. The issue for me has always been when I'm being used as a stop-gap or to satisfy some kind of curiosity without actually being aware of it. Though I cannot deny that as a lesbian, there is a certain kind of pain that comes from being left for a man. But that is my own cross to bear.

BW..hope you don't mind me asking..that person that left you for a man, was their other factors involved, such as, pressures from family or the fact that may be they had not emotionally come to turns with their own sexuality. Easier to conform to the norm. Like you said in another thread, whoever you are in a relationship with, they need to be comfortable with who they are and not still worried about what others might think seeing them out with another female. I am bisexual but my last relationship was with a female for five years. I was completely committed. If Hugh Jackman had walked in naked and said lets go...no way would I have. We ended because we grew apart and wanted different things...she also was a bisexual, happily married..it was a weird set up but it worked for both of us cos it gave me my independance that I like. It comes down to who you are, your maturity. I live by do unto others. I don't know but from my own experience there are alot of bisexual woman who are not really 50/50, more 70male/30female. It can be understandable that bisexuals get a bad wrap sometimes if they are this way.

Well Mac, I haven't actually ever been left for a man, but generally my bisexual girlfriends have gone straight on to have sexual relationships with men, at least for a while. Whether it's through convenience or the grass being greener... who can say. But I do find it particularly cutting to know that they've done that. I can only guess that it exacerbates up the feelings of inadequacy that tend to accompany a relationship breakdown.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bar Wench

Well Mac, I haven't actually ever been left for a man, but generally my bisexual girlfriends have gone straight on to have sexual relationships with men, at least for a while. Whether it's through convenience or the grass being greener... who can say. But I do find it particularly cutting to know that they've done that. I can only guess that it exacerbates up the feelings of inadequacy that tend to accompany a relationship breakdown.

Yes I can understand it would.....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bar Wench

Ammonite, I always enjoy your posts because you strike me as somebody with a solid point of view. But I feel as though this particular line just inverts the tired old arguments around there being an 'authentic sexuality' in a way that conveniently places you in the moral high ground, and suggests that those who identify as lesbian do so because they know no better.

It goes without saying that I strongly disagree with this. [...]

Yes I see exactly what you mean. I'm not sure if you're right about the idea, or right about my attempt at writing it.
((To be clear) I wasn't trying to say that everyone is bisexual.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bar Wench

I would like to agree Ammonite, but I'm just not quite there. Back in my Gender Studies days (oh, to shame!) I was really struck by Butler's work on Queer Theory; in short, that in human sexuality, thoughts (desire, fantasy etc) exist seperate to action (performance).

Although I categorise myself as lesbian, I can't say that my sexual fantasies or thoughts are always in keeping with such a label. I am at ease to admit this and feel no confusion as to my sexuality as a whole. I can and do agree with you when you state that to have such disparate thoughs or urges can at times cause great confusion when placed into the more linear concepts of sexuality which are the mainstream 'norm'. This is particularly true of those who are trying to reconcile these concepts for the first time.

I guess experiences such as my own and Vlad's may be a by-product of the confusion that comes from trying to pin down something that is as you say, fluid. Gay and lesbian forums are quite often filled with examples of people confusing fantasy or desire with orientation. I don't believe the two should be so closely associated.

This is a great post.
I feel (Do you agree?) this kind of thought is troubling to people and so dismissed, even though it makes a great deal of sense - because once you separate desire and action, it's a fast intellectual slide into places people don't want to go. If you point out that not everyone acts on every 'healthy' desire (whether or not you can agree on what that means) they have and then assert that this is ok, it becomes increasingly more difficult to defend many arguments relied on by the modern gay rights movement such as suppressing healthy desires is damaging to a person, or that sexual orientation isn't a choice. and it seems quite difficult to do that in the gay community in this current climate of 'born this way' fervor.

OMG!!! Ammonite.. WELCOME BACK!!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ammonite

I feel (Do you agree?) this kind of thought is troubling to people and so dismissed, even though it makes a great deal of sense - because once you separate desire and action, it's a fast intellectual slide into places people don't want to go. If you point out that not everyone acts on every 'healthy' desire (whether or not you can agree on what that means) they have and then assert that this is ok, it becomes increasingly more difficult to defend many arguments relied on by the modern gay rights movement such as suppressing healthy desires is damaging to a person, or that sexual orientation isn't a choice. and it seems quite difficult to do that in the gay community in this current climate of 'born this way' fervor.

Thanks for the (belated) reply, Ammonite... This thread had been assigned to a footnote in my mind until today

I am assuming that you are alluding to the notion that, if taken to its logical conclusion, this train of thought could lead to the justification of the attitude that being gay is a choice, and therefore it would also be possible for all gay people to also make the choice to lead a heterosexual lifestyle even while acknowledging their fantasies or sexual urges are in fact homosexual?

I think it is definitely food for thought. I personally know of a few women who are in long-term heterosexual relationships, even though they claim to identify as lesbians and have previously dated women exclusively. Two of these women happily admit it was a calculated choice based on their desire to have a family, and weighing up their immediate options when the desire struck (so to speak). I can't speak for whether they are truly happy, but they seem content and are both in functional relationships, so I would assume the choice was the right one for them.

I guess that leads me on to my personal view that this debate really does revolve around the ability to choose. I think LGBT visibility is crucial to achieving this - that is, gays and lesbians having 'normal', loving, healthy relationships. When that image is normalised, it hopefully allows individuals to make a choice on what is right for them. When heterosexual/monog/vanilla relationships are the default option it really hinders our ability to comprehend (or legitimise) other ways of being.