Mama may be getting old and jaded, but she not buying this guys story. Its makes good touchy feely TV but the reality is that if he really wanted to get in contact with his kids - he could of. His ex partner didn't just disappear off the face of the earth - there's avenues he could have taken to find her and his kids. Anyway - good voice, kinda cute so good luck to him

He's known around the traps in Sydney as JBear... Well at least when Manacle was still open and he sang there.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama Catastrophe

Mama may be getting old and jaded, but she not buying this guys story. Its makes good touchy feely TV but the reality is that if he really wanted to get in contact with his kids - he could of. His ex partner didn't just disappear off the face of the earth - there's avenues he could have taken to find her and his kids. Anyway - good voice, kinda cute so good luck to him

his story is a bit lame - you don't just walk out the door on 3 kids and then get to use it as a get out of jail sympathy card... but a woman scorned can be a really nasty kind of thing I suspect that if he is successful on this show, he will indeed be contacted - by her solicitor demanding back child support payments, alimony and heaven knows what else.
Every time one of these shows begins we get the first version of the back story - and later we get the rest of the story.

You all need to have more compassion. I feel for Justin so much, I know how he feels, how? Because I have lived & am living through a very simular story to his. This is not a simple black & white problem, there are so many factors to consider, there are many sides to this story, but I for one know, that a woman can get very nasty, resentful, scheming & bitter when it comes to ending & marriage or relationship, even more so when the man comes out as being gay or leaves her for another man. Woman has 90% of all rights when it comes to children, the mother can make it so hard for the father that it becomes imposible to be able to be a father. The father can go to court & fight for his children (which he should not have to do) however, unless you have lots of money & want to spend 16 to 18 years of your life fighting her & the courts, sending your self broke & having no life of your own, well then you may get a chance, however, most fathers don't. It certainly does not help either if you are gay, the mother will & does use that against you in any court action. It is quite easy for a mother to rid the father out of their children's life's if she wants to.

As for child support, you can not get away with out paying child support in Australia, at least not for long anyway, Australia has some of the hardest child support laws in the world, the child support agency is ruthless, very difficult & very hard on fathers. Justin would be paying child support, he carn't not pay. What really sucks is, the father must pay no matter what, yet the mother can make it very hard or even stop you from seeing your children, yet the father still must pay child support.

So unless you are in this situation, or you are close to someone who is, my words to anyone that want to criticize Justin or any father, straight or gay, is to STFU, because unless you have walked in their shoes, you have no idea what it is like or how hard it can be for fathers.

The suicide rate for fathers from broken relationships is very high, which I can totally understand, because between a nasty mother & the courts geared always be in favor of the mother, it gets to a point when you just want it to end, as there is nothing more painful then someone or someones stoping you or telling you that you can not see your own flesh & blood (children) especially when you have been nothing but good to your children, it rips your heart out!

There is very little support for gay dads out there, which includes our very own gay community, so we should be giving Justin all the support we can, as he needs it. Lets not judge him, lets open our hearts to him.

I guess Justin is warning us about the problems of marriage.

a person walks away from 3 kids - and then uses that story as part of his audition to get on national tv and jump start a singing career...and you want sympathy? I don't think so.

well of course he misses his kids.
Most probably just the show trying to add to the atmosphere.

He should've waited a few years. I'm sure the 13 year old kid is embarassed his dad came out on such a bad show....

Quote:

Originally Posted by yogi

You all need to have more compassion. I feel for Justin so much, I know how he feels, how? Because I have lived & am living through a very simular story to his. This is not a simple black & white problem, there are so many factors to consider, there are many sides to this story, but I for one know, that a woman can get very nasty, resentful, scheming & bitter when it comes to ending & marriage or relationship, even more so when the man comes out as being gay or leaves her for another man. Woman has 90% of all rights when it comes to children, the mother can make it so hard for the father that it becomes imposible to be able to be a father. The father can go to court & fight for his children (which he should not have to do) however, unless you have lots of money & want to spend 16 to 18 years of your life fighting her & the courts, sending your self broke & having no life of your own, well then you may get a chance, however, most fathers don't. It certainly does not help either if you are gay, the mother will & does use that against you in any court action. It is quite easy for a mother to rid the father out of their children's life's if she wants to.

As for child support, you can not get away with out paying child support in Australia, at least not for long anyway, Australia has some of the hardest child support laws in the world, the child support agency is ruthless, very difficult & very hard on fathers. Justin would be paying child support, he carn't not pay. What really sucks is, the father must pay no matter what, yet the mother can make it very hard or even stop you from seeing your children, yet the father still must pay child support.

So unless you are in this situation, or you are close to someone who is, my words to anyone that want to criticize Justin or any father, straight or gay, is to STFU, because unless you have walked in their shoes, you have no idea what it is like or how hard it can be for fathers.

The suicide rate for fathers from broken relationships is very high, which I can totally understand, because between a nasty mother & the courts geared always be in favor of the mother, it gets to a point when you just want it to end, as there is nothing more painful then someone or someones stoping you or telling you that you can not see your own flesh & blood (children) especially when you have been nothing but good to your children, it rips your heart out!

There is very little support for gay dads out there, which includes our very own gay community, so we should be giving Justin all the support we can, as he needs it. Lets not judge him, lets open our hearts to him.

Hmm are we still talking about this guys story or yours?

Both. It does not matter who's story it is, nor should it, it's just the truth for many fathers, so, show some compassion. All I am trying to do is show people that it is not as simple as some of you think it is, in doing that, I may include some of my own experiences, there is nothing wrong with that. None of us should be judging anyone.

his "reasons" 4 wanting 2 appear on x-factor sound pretty lame 2 me. if he wanted 2 see his kids he woodve done anything besides using it as an excuse 2 gain sympathy on a national telly program. ur expecting me 2 believe he wood nothave done sumthing by now 2 see the kids he luvs. pfftt. smells of publicity 2 me & u need that edge 2 get u favour with the judges over other singers as good as u. lame. v lame.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dougster

his "reasons" 4 wanting 2 appear on x-factor sound pretty lame 2 me. if he wanted 2 see his kids he woodve done anything besides using it as an excuse 2 gain sympathy on a national telly program. ur expecting me 2 believe he wood nothave done sumthing by now 2 see the kids he luvs. pfftt. smells of publicity 2 me & u need that edge 2 get u favour with the judges over other singers as good as u. lame. v lame.

I agree. Spot on Dougster. It seems ALL reality TV shows require some "sad story" from contestants just to get to qualify to get on the show. It is actually so overdone, I tune out now. Even from Masterchef to Farmer Wants a Wife...they all have a story and I agree...from a parents point of view, I would NEVER come out on TV and discuss this situation and embarrass my kids.

Mama stands by her thoughts that this dude is using the kids story to win sympathy votes on X Factor. He's been on TV before (beauty and the bear), he was named Mr Manacle in 2005, he's even got a profile right here on SameSame. Did he use all these opportunities to try find his kids or discuss gay fathers - no he used them to promote his career as a singer.

Ouch Mama !

xxx

Have we turned a corner here? It doesn't seem that long ago that we'd be heaping praise and encouragement on an out gay person on TV. The knives are also out for the gay guy on Big Brother. I hope the cynicism is more towards the format of these shows - which thrive on sob stories - rather than Justin himself. He's a really sweet and genuine guy if you ever meet him or see him perform live.

A role model for gay dads everywhere - get married, have your kids, abandon them for 13 years while enjoying gay lifestyle, then after all the responsibility for raising them is done, go on tv show to let them know that you missed them (and not to mention sell a few million records). Yeah, I buy it... BUT if he were a straight man, I would have my doubts....

some corners are made for turning.....

I feel sorry for the kids.. I dont know whether the guy's doing it for publicity or if he has genuinely not been able to get in touch (who am i to judge that anyway) but either way I bet the kids are both embarrassed and heartbroken for no fault of theirs!

Quote:

Originally Posted by dougster

his "reasons" 4 wanting 2 appear on x-factor sound pretty lame 2 me. if he wanted 2 see his kids he woodve done anything besides using it as an excuse 2 gain sympathy on a national telly program. ur expecting me 2 believe he wood nothave done sumthing by now 2 see the kids he luvs. pfftt. smells of publicity 2 me & u need that edge 2 get u favour with the judges over other singers as good as u. lame. v lame.

Well it's clear the guy can sing, so it's not like he is just on the show for one thing, he is not using the show for sympathy, he is just bringing attention to some thing that effects a lot of gay men, which needs to be talked about more in our commuity, instead of Kylie all the time. Sadly our gay commity likes to pretend these kind of problems are not there, as it's not part of the "gay" culture. A lot of gays are in their own little world, if it does not effect me, so why should I care, right? It' a very selfish attitude, which is one of the biggest failers of the gay commuity & the youth, if it does not effect me, well i dont care or ill turn a blind eye to it , & even judge somone, when in fact we know nothing about what we are judging. I agee there is a bit of an over kill on these shows at times of sad stories, however there is a lot of good stories as well, but we tend to hang on & critizise the sad ones. Everybody has a story, good or bad, & we like to be able to tell our story & be heard, its important to our mental heath to tell our story, how one takes that story is up to them. But, we must always think out side our own little box & think it should only be one way, the way I think, which is norrow minded & provokes limited thoughts. Justin has most likely done everything in is power to find his children, this would be his last resort. He also may have limited resources & money. Unless we know what he has or has not done, we should not be passing negative uninformed judgement. The show can do what it likes, if someone does not like it, then don't watch it. When a person is opening their heart & telling others of a very personal painful story, yet others judge & criticize them, shows a major lack of compassion within them selfs, unfortunately I find this a lot in the gay community, it's sad, because compassion is fundermental to our own happiness.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mac31

I agree. Spot on Dougster. It seems ALL reality TV shows require some "sad story" from contestants just to get to qualify to get on the show. It is actually so overdone, I tune out now. Even from Masterchef to Farmer Wants a Wife...they all have a story and I agree...from a parents point of view, I would NEVER come out on TV and discuss this situation and embarrass my kids.

To say that Justin is embarrassing his kids is pretty poor form, how in earth could his kids be embarrassed by seeing their father that they have not seen in a long time on tv singing, sharing how much he misses them & loves , then makes it through to the next stage, they would be so happy & proud. My god, what a shallow world you must live in. I bet you don't have children, or don't truly understand how they think.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama Catastrophe

Mama stands by her thoughts that this dude is using the kids story to win sympathy votes on X Factor. He's been on TV before (beauty and the bear), he was named Mr Manacle in 2005, he's even got a profile right here on SameSame. Did he use all these opportunities to try find his kids or discuss gay fathers - no he used them to promote his career as a singer.

You can think what you like, people do, it's just sad when people can not think out side their own norrow minded limited thinking to see pass it, try putting your self in someone's else's shoes. So what if he has been on other shows. What's wrong with promoting your career, for fuck sake everyone does that, who doesn't, especialallly when your a singer, the guy has to eat & pay his child support, which would be a lot of money. Tell me, would you want to post personal & heart breaking things about your self on a forum that, 1, most don't give a shit, 2, most don't want to hear it, 3, who is really going to help him, 4, people on here & everywhere else in the gay community are just going to judge & criticize him, think about it, for most part our community does not care about this stuff, they don't want to hear it, they just want to brush it off, say your problem not mine. Just maybe, if people think out side their own heads & experiences, they may realize that until now it has been a very sad & painful time for Justin, in which he has not been able to talk about, a lot of people find it hard to talk about painful events in their life, it's human nature, to judge that is very unfair.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DavoJimbo

A role model for gay dads everywhere - get married, have your kids, abandon them for 13 years while enjoying gay lifestyle, then after all the responsibility for raising them is done, go on tv show to let them know that you missed them (and not to mention sell a few million records). Yeah, I buy it... BUT if he were a straight man, I would have my doubts....

some corners are made for turning.....

If this is what I read you meant & how I took it. Pretty cruel poor & unfair statement there, totally unjust. Are you a gay father? Do you personally know Jusin & his story. Very narrow minded limited thinking you have, shame on you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by guynextdoor

I feel sorry for the kids.. I dont know whether the guy's doing it for publicity or if he has genuinely not been able to get in touch (who am i to judge that anyway) but either way I bet the kids are both embarrassed and heartbroken for no fault of theirs!

Not Embarrassed, if you understand kids, they would be very proud & happy

Jeez Yogi, if you love him so much why don't you just marry him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bar Wench

Jeez Yogi, if you love him so much why don't you just marry him.

See this is the kind of immature negitive response I would expect on this forum. Grow up! I don't know the guy. If you bother to really read & take in what I write & trying to say, it's not just about Justin, it's about bringing attention to a important concern with gay fathers. I am trying to make people think & ask them selfs questions, also bring attention to the narrow minded one sided negative hurtful comments that people make here & in the out side world, why do we always think the worst? Why do we assume things we know nothing about? Why do we not support our own community? Why do we have to be bitchy? Why are we lacking in compassion for others? I am sure if Justin reads some of these negative nasty comments on here he would be very hurt & upset, I know i am a little sad & disappointed by some of the comments on here.& it has nothing directly to do with me. Think about how our words may effect others before we write them. We are much better then most the comments on hear.

^ You must forgive her. She is a thirsty student.

Quote:

Originally Posted by yogi

Not Embarrassed, if you understand kids, they would be very proud & happy

Teenagers happy and proud of their parents? What alternate universe are you living in?

Obviously not one that includes the term "Dad-jokes".

Quote:

Originally Posted by mark_

^ You must forgive her. She is a thirsty student.

Oh Mark. How I enjoy our spirited exchanges. One must not carry an argument over from another thread though, ok?

If you simply must cast aspersions on my character, I suggest you take the time to read my profile and maybe, I don't know... get your facts straight?

Much obliged. And that's ok, I would never dream of an apology

fair enough

Quote:

Originally Posted by yogi

If this is what I read you meant & how I took it. Pretty cruel poor & unfair statement there, totally unjust. Are you a gay father? Do you personally know Jusin & his story. Very norrow minded limited thinking you have, shame on you.

there is a difference between "could not find" and "did not look very hard". If he wanted to find them so much, he could have taken a second job a mackers, if need be, and hired a private investigator to locate his kids. This is 2012 and Australia - not exactly the best place on the planet to hide 3 kids.

This is a reality tv show mash up - and that is fine - we all love a good back story. He is good looking, can sing, and the story is good for ratings.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JayTee

Teenagers happy and proud of their parents? What alternate universe are you living in?

Obviously not one that includes the term "Dad-jokes".

I happen to know of many that are, my your universe is a little limited. If your implying that what you wrote was funny or any of this is funny, don't give up your day job