Quote:

Originally Posted by someoneinatree

....they seem to be missing the point.

A preference is a positive thing, and is not a blanket statement.

Actually that is the point. a preference isn't a blanket no it's just a not right now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by someoneinatree

"I prefer bananas" is a very different statement to "I hate oranges"....

As I said I do agree with some points of the OP to some degree (ie the negativity) however I'm yet to see a whole heap of profiles that say "I hate..." as opposed to "No ...". Hate is different to preference.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJames

half-wit .... WEAK, SHALLOW and INCONSIDERATE.....
....chauvinistic....
....shallow, discriminatory and hurtful....

Just the points I found most interesting for someone preaching love, understanding & acceptance. Seriously you make way too many assumptions & really not quite enough objective points.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJames

....the rage I feel towards you....
....sadness and heartbreak for you....
....we're not interested in carrying you along with us....

Now for the actual response. Oh dear. Did you really take offence to the fruit comment? LMAO. Preference is preference after all. Whether that be for one thing or another. There is a big difference to "presenting a united front" & blindly following or denying ones individualism. Actually I do have the right to be shallow & hurtful if I so desire. There ain't no law against being a douche but it was nice of you to recognise my right to an opinion. You may want to discuss you're acceptance of some rights & denial of others with some of our wonderful politicians. Maybe a common thread there.

Just to finish, might be an idea to refrain from making unfounded assumptions about someone on a forum as a result of an opinion, post or point they were trying to make. But it's true I was once vunerable & hurt by the gay scene oh please carry me with you to this wonderful existance you describe......LOL. To quote Mrs Brown "I used to say Fuck Off now I just say That's nice".

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dsquare

No, but when that rejection was given face to face rather than to a faceless torso people may have been a little bit more civilised about it.

I don't know about that. I have seen some nasty stuff in my time that was all face to face. That said though the net does remove the ability to relay or react to someones body language but I guess that's a trade off some people are willing to accept in the interest of access, time & possible outcomes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schmoodle

So I ges u r 1 of tha guys dat say dis kinda shit or u would not b saying it was cool.

First you need to lose the dumbass text talk and second, no "dudes" did not use this language "be4" the internet days. They actually went to a club and met people in person, shock horror! People actually had social skills!!

u assume 2 much dude. neva sed i used grindr & neva sed it was kewl. sed its a hookup app & dudes will post wot they want/dont want 4 a fuk. & they do, dont they?

i guess u missed out on th "social skills"u were talking bout, man. at least i dont disrespect othas in th right 2 have a diff opinion. BTW, found an old 80s porn mag. aussie ed. with personals. 1 dude wrote - "no fatties, no effeminates". so guess ur wrong there 2, dude. LOL.

Oh dear Lord – Are we still banging on about this?

Whether it is wrong or right you are never going to stop this sort of language being used on profiles. Do you really think Hung_Guy_Oz or Want_Cock_Now really give two rats arses about how others feel after reading their profiles? There’s no restorative justice here and these guys will never have to come to face to face with the people who are hurt by their words – they are safely ensconced behind their screens and there’s sweet fuck all you can do to change them.

Mama’s advice – if you don’t like these sites or can’t handle the comments – don’t use them! We live in a highly critical world and there will always be folks who openly express that they don’t like the way you look, act or think. In most cases there are laws to protect you from this but in the case of Grindr etc, these folks aren’t breaking any laws so you need to toughen the fuck up or you’ll go under - coz no amount of bitching and moaning is gonna change it. Either that or go start your own dating site where the guidelines state that only positive language can be used and any profile not adhering to this will be banned.

Re the use of “I prefer….” instead of “No…..” – Mama thinks it’s a crock of shit. Posting “I prefer caucasian, masculine, slim guys” sends the exact same message as “No Asians, Blacks, Fats or Fems”. You can argue the semantics of the two sentences all you like, but too an Asian, Black, Fat or Effeminate guy the message would be the same – don’t bother contacting the owner of this profile.

I guess people were more often more polite in turning people down face to face.
Perhaps grindr etc etc need an other peoples comments on people then potential sexual partners can see if they are engaging with a cnt or nice guy.In the old days if you were rude in a bar your reputation soon got about and people treated you accordingly.
Just out of interest when flocks of gays attend these same sex rallys how many are on grindr etc wanting no stings sex?

technology has really shown how fucked up most gay men are lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by crazzymikey

technology has really shown how fucked up most gay men are lol

Scratch out the words "gay men" and replace them with "people" and that sentence is still true.

Quote:

Originally Posted by local_warming

I look forward to you controlling my life in future - what will you permit me to have for breakfast

How about something that tastes like your own medicine?

i dont mind these negative taglines. it makes the job of blocking people with such attitude much, much easier! it's a blessing in disguise.

For me it's ok to say no Asians as I never talk to others first except 1 time be4. Still lots of guys talk to me although 90% of them would ask for sex which I replied directly with no or something like that. Sometimes I may click some profiles them and these preferences also can help me to block them.
Only nice guys like the author can write out such article as they really have come across these rules or discriminations which only make sense for those who believe they are logic naturally and are meant to Be in existence.interestingly, Asian countries even have more serious discriminations as massive gay men are self discriminated out of physical deficiency etc.(all r their own reasons) and have fetish for Caucasians out of very weird reasons(at least to me) that have led them to discriminate each other after making comparison with they-believe Caucasian merits.
Things Some ppl know, they always know, some ppl don't know, tones of efforts made to help them to know are always useless-just like constantly flushing the clean toilet rolls in the closestool-just don't waste resources as which should give to ppl who really need.
Unfortunately nice ppl have always been the minor but that's hope, hope alway seems to be hopeless but some day it will go wild although that sounds helpless, again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJames

How about something that tastes like your own medicine?

And im waiting......

Spot on Mama !

and Crazzy its not limited to gays . Shows up everyone. As Mama says they are behind a screen.

Look at the Facebook / Twitter stories hitting the headlines !

I'm really happy that we're finally beginning to talk about this issue within our community, because its been a long time coming. We are part of the information age generation, yet we've been extremely dishonest with ourselves.

Mobile apps such as Grindr have provided the means for a shocking amount of sexist and racist behaviour to be freely expressed in a digital space, and there haven't been open discussions about the adverse affects this is having on the mental health of a community that puportedly celebrates 'diversity'.

We're happy to apportion blame to heterosexuals with conservative or discriminatory views, but some of the worst offenders of discrimination are us. It's high time we owned up to that truth; it's high time we stop regarding homophobia in terms of a simple dichiotomy between gay and straight, with gays being on the defensive--no, we are as much the pepetrators of our own bigotry by pepetuating the homophobia we've learnt.

We have ethical responsibility to police hateful, discriminatory behaviour online (be it direct or masked), and it saddens and disgusts me that we've made outlets for internalised homophobia, heterosexism and racism normal and 'acceptable' within our online communities by not acting upon discrimination--so much so that marginalised groups almost seem to expect that they'll be the brunt of the hate that the unspoken-about caste system produces (which, yes, is a power institution that very much exists)...

Perhaps instead of 'no femme Asians' we should be writing 'no intolerant morons'...

Another thing, why is Grindr so eager to censor any profile that shows an inch or two more flesh than it should and yet it is so reluctant to censor racial and sexual hate? I'm sorry, but this doesn't speak very well about the priorities of a supposedly-allegedly social networking tool (aka online beat)....

:)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kembi

I'm really happy that we're finally beginning to talk about this issue within our community, because its been a long time coming. We are part of the information age generation, yet we've been extremely dishonest with ourselves.

It's been talked to death since the first hook-up sites (Gaydar etc) started. And, in fact, as someone pointed out earlier, even before digital hook-up services existed people put ads in personal columns of the gay rags that said things like "no fats, no femmes, no asians" and the hand wringing started then, so it's hardly a case of "we're finally beginning to talk about this issue".

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kembi

Another thing, why is Grindr so eager to censor any profile that shows an inch or two more flesh than it should and yet it is so reluctant to censor racial and sexual hate? I'm sorry, but this doesn't speak very well about the priorities of a supposedly-allegedly social networking tool (aka online beat)....

Because those are the restrictions that Apple has placed on Apps - they can't be rated as adult.

Do you really think that any creator of hook up apps truly cares about their clientel?

Same goes for saunas.

They are just in it for the $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

Mamas decided she going to design her own app in opposition to Grindr. Its called Blindr and will only allow profiles from guys who are blind to other guys physical characteristics. No doubt a huge number of men will want to use this app rather than that dastardly Grindr that has the audacity to let them state their preferences - so within weeks Mama will be be able to retire from the millions of dollars she will receive from advertisers vying for a chance to advertise on such a popular app. Anyone want to get in on the ground floor and invest - form an orderly queue now

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama Catastrophe

Mamas decided she going to design her own app in opposition to Grindr. Its called Blindr and will only allow profiles from guys who are blind to other guys physical characteristics. No doubt a huge number of men will want to use this app rather than that dastardly Grindr that has the audacity to let them state their preferences - so within weeks Mama will be be able to retire from the millions of dollars she will receive from advertisers vying for a chance to advertise on such a popular app. Anyone want to get in on the ground floor and invest - form an orderly queue now

Will emotional and spiritual preferences be allowed? For example, would it be a problem if my profile said "No buddhists"?

All that talk about love and peace shits me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dsquare

Will emotional and spiritual preferences be allowed? Sometimes I think they're far more importan than mere physical characteristics.

Hell to the No. We will not be offending anyone on Blindr. The only preference you can make is that your potential hook up be breathing

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dsquare

Will emotional and spiritual preferences be allowed? For example, would it be a problem if my profile said "No buddhists"?

All that talk about love and peace shits me.

Or perhaps it would be better to say "I prefer men who eat meat and have an aversion to incense"?

Of course that also cuts out 75% of the population of Newtown, but I can live with that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama Catastrophe

Hell to the No. We will not be offending anyone on Blindr. The only preference you can make is that your potential hook up be breathing

That's never been a prerequisite of mine before.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama Catastrophe

Hell to the No. We will not be offending anyone on Blindr. The only preference you can make is that your potential hook up be breathing

same as Dsquare ! breathing has never been a prerequisite

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama Catastrophe

Mamas decided she going to design her own app in opposition to Grindr. Its called Blindr and will only allow profiles from guys who are blind to other guys physical characteristics. No doubt a huge number of men will want to use this app rather than that dastardly Grindr that has the audacity to let them state their preferences - so within weeks Mama will be be able to retire from the millions of dollars she will receive from advertisers vying for a chance to advertise on such a popular app. Anyone want to get in on the ground floor and invest - form an orderly queue now

It will be the first non-smart phone app for smart phones, seeing as how there will be no option to upload/exchange photos, because after all, it will be the soothingly sweet words from the profile that gets you in

Does anyone have old copies of Outrage magazine with the meet-market supplements? There were some doozies in those personal ads back in the day and they make the profiles on Grindr etc... look very politically correct in comparision.

Preferring one piece of fruit over another *is* discrimination. Not that Wikipedia is the most authoratative of sources but, "Discrimination is the prejudicial or distinguishing treatment of an individual based on his or her membership - or perceived membership - in a certain group or category," and in this situation you prefer bananas to oranges. The difference is that oranges don't give a shit that you prefer bananas (although orange growers might...) But I agree with your general premise. Saying you prefer one thing over something else does not mean you think badly of the other, but we have to cop it on the chin and accept that we're descriminatory. The rest of the world will figure it out someday. : )

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mama Catastrophe

Mamas decided she going to design her own app in opposition to Grindr. Its called Blindr and will only allow profiles from guys who are blind to other guys physical characteristics. No doubt a huge number of men will want to use this app rather than that dastardly Grindr that has the audacity to let them state their preferences - so within weeks Mama will be be able to retire from the millions of dollars she will receive from advertisers vying for a chance to advertise on such a popular app. Anyone want to get in on the ground floor and invest - form an orderly queue now

How sexist!

This is an app for guys to hook up with guys. But wont women who want to sleep with guys who want to sleep with guys get offended that they are being shut out by sexist gay men who don't want to sleep with women?

Totally agree with you Evan; there is a lot of hate among our own and we need to pull up our own socks before we can begin to have people take us seriously.

good article Evan

I don't think that not wanting to hang out with a guy who wears high heels is a sign of internalized homophobia. It could very well be cautious pragmatism as most people want to safeguard first and foremost their own personal safety

Could you imagine going out with a guy wearing heels on a Saturday night in one of our vile cities full of drunken scums?

Let's not kid ourselves, a guy can get away with wearing heels in San Francisco perhaps but certainly not in any Australian city

saw "No Asians" in someone's profile? live and let live. do not be offended.

for the same reason that most Asians only want white guys. practice what you preach.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dsquare

That's never been a prerequisite of mine before.

I have to agree with Dsquare.

A pulse and breathing is very good .........

Warm & dead less than 30 minutes, maybe negotiable!