Are you in the kind of situation:

http://thewishingwell.us/?p=1834

What would do if you were (either partner)?

SHY BOY
My boyfriend has social anxiety and bi polar disorder. I love him and love spending time with him, but sometimes…it would be nice to go out and be social and hangout with people. Â*Unfortunately thats not really something he can do well. Is it wrong of me to want to go out and do things socially like have a drink with my best friend or go dancing? Â*I dunno, I wish he could enjoy more than just sitting with me having dinners and working out together. Â*Its even hard to get him to go out to the movies, I have to really drag him out. Â*I’m afraid I will start to resent him over this and thats not right. Â*I dunno what to do. I’ve tried getting him to go out with me for a drink but his meds interact with alcohol and make him extra super inebriated pretty quickly. I’ve tried just asking him to just go to dinner with my friends but he’s uncomfortable. I actually adore him so I don’t mind spending all the time alone with him….but it is slightly monotonous some weekends sitting watching t.v. yet again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by poolboy jackson

I didn't read it.
But I'd say dump him.
I had a friend who was Ok but had bladder issues.
Every time we'd go out, he'd be in the toilet before the show, at interval and after.
Dump him!

Doing the beat?

Oh god this seriously sounds like my ex.

When we met, he appeared to be social and outgoing- but as we started dating, I found we started going out less and less.

At first I put it down to the "nesting" period, and I was his first serious boy friend, but as they days turned into months- it became apparent that it was something more.

By the time we were living together- we stopped leaving the house completely. In all reality- I think we may have gone out about, five or six times in the entire three years that we were going out and when we did- he would get so drunk he would start disgracing himself and need to go home.

On Friday nights, he would say he was too tired to go out, on Saturday nights, he would say, he couldnt go out cos "Iron Chef" was on. On Sunday, he couldn't go out, cos the next day was Monday.

In the end, I started working out, that not only was he socially phobic, he was also really jealous of anybody else. If some guy spoke to me, or even asked to borrow a lighter, he would appear and hover right next to me.

Honestly- it was such a head fuck

Mark Adnum probably wants you to discuss the topic on his site. His post is some sort of advertising.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wysiwyg_syd

Mark Adnum probably wants you to discuss the topic on his site. His post is some sort of advertising.

Yeah I know... I thought it was sneaky of him to direct traffic to his site without disclosing his pecuniary interest. So I pasted the story here instead.

Thanks, milk monitor

Dont worry i went to your site and clicked at all your ad banners if that helps?

not unless you bought anything

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark Adnum

Thanks, milk monitor

No worries. If you try being genuine you might be surprised to find that people may be willing to help/assist you...

Ps. It is nothing personal- I am allergic to marketing and advertising.

I've found social anxiety is surprisingly common, and sometimes people get it just at certain points in their lives. One summer when I was 17 it became very difficult for me to even leave the house.

The guy in the story sounds like a supportive boyfriend, that's nice to see. If he understands his boyfriend's stresses then his guy might also try to understand how inportant it is for his partner to get out and about every so often. They should start small, with one friend at a time, and work up. x

Although you have every right to go out with friends and everything, this will not fix the problem in your relationship. It's a question of whether you love him enough to allow him to put you in this situation and if not, then get out ASAP. Are you willing to put a lot of time and effort into helping him?

I think I'm going through one at the moment to tell you the truth.

I have lost all desire to go out and be social and when I do I just want to go home immediately.

I also find I am not as tolerant of people or situations as I used to be.

People perceive me to be a sociable and out going person, which I can be- but on the whole people really freak me out.

I also broke up with a guy who was pretty terrible to me for three years, and after the break up he was doing really weird things- like coming to my house and plastering my front door with copies of emails I had sent him. Appearing at my house to scream about how much he hated me at 4 in the morning.

It's made me just not want to get involved with anyone or anything- and even though I will go out, and have fun and laugh with people etc- I seem to have the world and myself on a very tight leash lately.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Light-Bearer

I think I'm going through one at the moment to tell you the truth.

I have lost all desire to go out and be social and when I do I just want to go home immediately.

I also find I am not as tolerant of people or situations as I used to be.

People perceive me to be a sociable and out going person, which I can be- but on the whole people really freak me out.

I also broke up with a guy who was pretty terrible to me for three years, and after the break up he was doing really weird things- like coming to my house and plastering my front door with copies of emails I had sent him. Appearing at my house to scream about how much he hated me at 4 in the morning.

It's made me just not want to get involved with anyone or anything- and even though I will go out, and have fun and laugh with people etc- I seem to have the world and myself on a very tight leash lately.

Sounds like you might need to find yourself again and re-evaluate your goals in life. Going through something like that, people tend to lose themselves because they have put so much of themselves into the relationship that they change themselves a little. You might not necessarily be the person you once were, but you can find who you are now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by poolboy jackson

Does one measure the clicks to justify increasing the advertising cost?

I'm ignorant of all this?

that's what i thought. apparently clicking is not enuf, you must make a purchase