If the guys come into this thread to defend themselves it only proves my point.

Who thinks the men on this site are getting a little too comfortable in the so-called LADIES lounge? Fair enough it's a free country but this is supposed to be our safe haven and some of them are not being very polite. *cough*ernesto*cough*.

Especially when they start posting in the specifically titled "Ladies Only" thread.

And when bisexual guys come in here to try and pick up bisexual chicks? Um. That's not what this site is for. Instead why not use any other dating website you can think of.

Does anyone else agree? What should be done about it? Perhaps they need their own space. In any case, their presence is making me and some others uncomfortable.

Good points marisol, I can say that at time even i feel uncomfortable posting due to certain male comments.

definitely supporting you there marisol. a few of you are decent, but a lot of posts are inappropriate for the ladies lounge.

it's the ladies lounge. LADIES LOUNGE. we have this place for us. it'd be nice if you could respect it and just let us do our thing. all the other places are overrun by guys, so you have plenty of choice. it's like straight couples going into a gay club because it's 'in' or a better scene- not what they should be there for.

true on the bisexual part. go ahead and make a bisexual section, it doesn't bother me, i just don't want to see it here in the ladies lounge.

a number of us are uncomfortable and unhappy with the situation but won't rock the boat, so please respect that this is the ladies lounge. used to post in the news and chat sections before, but now i'm rarely there because of the antics of the guys- and now that mess if being brought here.

If anyone has been directly insulted by one of the guys or read something written by the guys that offended them, please post it here, either quote or print screen. This comment in the What's your opinion on... thread was really inappropriate and uncalled for I thought.

when i first started posting in the ladies lounge i found it to be very welcoming and nice and supportive...and for a while i turned a blind eye to some of the guys comments....but now there are things i don't want to be reading... i don't feel comfortable reading about (be it a joke or not) a guy pulling out his penis and stroking it. I Don't think some of the comments go towards making this place a safe place for all ladies.

They can have their opinions, but i can't help but think that we are all supposed to just accept what they say especially if it's obviously rude.

yeah, you mean this one.

Same Same Media Player

Honestly ladies the guys that post here and make trouble do it over in the chat and gossip threads too. They are really only on SS to make immature comments so I don't know how much luck we'll have in keeping them away.

Does naming and shaming in the way you suggest marisol actually work or will they simply spam us more for attention? Since Mr Piss is probably the clone of one of the other people that makes trouble in here like badadamj, who you might have noticed went over to the C&G threads to complain about the cold reception he got here.

I think we should be cautious about excluding people based on percieved gender though. I think it should be about behaviour. I can't blame the boys for wanting to talk here- we're awesome but a little...decorum would be nice.

No-one wants to kick my husband out do they? Cause I might have to get up in arms about that.

nah triana, your husband behaves, he know's to draw the line at respect. So i respect his posts in return.

Quote:

Originally Posted by trina2004

No-one wants to kick my husband out do they? Cause I might have to get up in arms about that.

Apologies in advance, but this did cross my mind.

Does this apply to me??? the LL is like the only place on this site that it DOESN'T feel like EVERYONE is constantly being attacked, which is why I like it, but if you all want me to leave it, I will.

I try not to ruffle feathers or be all "hurr hurr boys hurr" - the "cold reception" badamj got was actually from me. >.<

But yeah, is this in reference to me...?

i'm not thinking of it as naming and shaming, more so as gathering evidence, because some of this stuff is seriously rude and inappropriate. and i know we ladies fight and not all of us play nicely myself included, but it's the ladies lounge. honestly, we're lesbians/bisexual ladies, don't want to have the penis talk here thanks. they talk about rim jobs and whatever outside, just keep it there if that's not too much trouble. and some of us are uncomfortable with it, so why shouldn't we stand up?

i'm not saying no guys whatsoever. but the ladies lounge should remain- the ladies lounge. for ladies. catering to ladies.

See guys want to talk here because its different, its AWESOME! but what seems to be happening is that they're just dumping rude remarks in here to stir it up and make it just like the other forum threads. I'd hate to see the ladies lounge turn that way...

Im thinking about the future girls who sign up to samesame, I hope for it to be a place they can ask for opinions or post without a worry. Somewhere respectful. All comments in my eyes are accepted as long as they're respectful. Is that too much to ask for?

My problem is with reading offensive comments when I just want to have an intelligent and mature discussion. Of course we're not vetoing guys, we're saying this is our space first and foremost and if they want to visit they should be respectful.

And for what it's worth I've never had a problem with ensign-charlie lol.

Should we really just sit back and allow the bad behaviour even though it bothers us? We can at the very least ask them to stop being rude. I don't think it's a lost cause. It shouldn't be that we can't possibly get away from people trying to make trouble. That's what this forum is supposed to be for.

Obviously I'm not against a gender here but the behaviour.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ensign-charlie

Apologies in advance, but this did cross my mind.

Does this apply to me??? the LL is like the only place on this site that it DOESN'T feel like EVERYONE is constantly being attacked, which is why I like it, but if you all want me to leave it, I will.

I try not to ruffle feathers or be all "hurr hurr boys hurr" - the "cold reception" badamj got was actually from me. >.<

But yeah, is this in reference to me...?

No its not about you You're a real lady- good manners all the way

Quote:

Originally Posted by pho3nixphir3

i'm not thinking of it as naming and shaming, more so as gathering evidence, because some of this stuff is seriously rude and inappropriate. and i know we ladies fight and not all of us play nicely myself included, but it's the ladies lounge. honestly, we're lesbians/bisexual ladies, don't want to have the penis talk here thanks. they talk about rim jobs and whatever outside, just keep it there if that's not too much trouble. and some of us are uncomfortable with it, so why shouldn't we stand up?

i'm not saying no guys whatsoever. but the ladies lounge should remain- the ladies lounge. for ladies. catering to ladies.

Yeah I agree with you pho, no random inappropriate "penis" comments.

Oh yay! I feel loved. n.n

Boys are just retards...disrespectful retards. Why am I gay again?

You're attracted to disrespectful retards? lol.

It's an internet trait I think, not one they all have in real life.

/remembers high school. ....very few don't have that trait. But the ones that don't are awesome. ^^

Exactly! So the awesome guys are welcome, the other ones need to either shape up or gtfo. Wasabii's right, this needs to be a safe place not just for current samesamers but future ones too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by marisol88

My problem is with reading offensive comments when I just want to have an intelligent and mature discussion. Of course we're not vetoing guys, we're saying this is our space first and foremost and if they want to visit they should be respectful.



Should we really just sit back and allow the bad behaviour even though it bothers us? We can at the very least ask them to stop being rude. I don't think it's a lost cause. It shouldn't be that we can't possibly get away from people trying to make trouble. That's what this forum is supposed to be for.

I think its good you started this thread marisol, because instead of attacking the guys in threads, you've brought it up to be discussed. good stuff! much more maturity shown than some of the guys comments

Yeah exactly, I really don't want to have a go at the guys, everyone should be able to live and let live on SameSame cos that's what it's for, a safe place from all the bullshit we get from the rest of the world. Do we really want to bring more unpleasantness inside the only bubble we have?

With all the light that is being drawn towards gay teens and suicide, you would think everybody would be open towards polishing up this place to be as pleasant as possible. Many of them hidden in closets would be turning towards online methods of support, i feel its our job as members (already a bit more comfortable in this community) to do our bit. To ask for a bit more decency of all users so that nobody feels uncomfortable.

Yeah especially since there's only really this site that fulfills that criteria, where else can you find a LGBT networking site that's not primarily for dating? We need this site! We should be keeping it awesome.

this isn't a hook up sight?

*leaves*

lol.

Quote:

Originally Posted by trina2004

this isn't a hook up sight?

*leaves*

Oi! You got a husband on this site. :P

Oh thank god someone said it. I didn't want to come across as a man hating dyke. I do want to say I consider charlie one of the girls though!

I can start up a girls only forum if anyone's interested? Everyone could still come here but I'd have the power to lock it and make it invite only if anyone wants to have more private convos. Because even if dudes stopped posting in here, this forum is very public and anyone could be reading it, including straight people or homophobes.

I'm not one to open up when this sort of thing happens but it really annoys me too.

It pisses me off that we can't just have a place to ourselves. D:

Males who are supportive of us in the community are welcome here in the ladies lounge. If a post is offensive, click on the yellow post it note with the exclamation mark sign thingy underneath the offending poster's avatar, then leave a message for the site moderators as to why it shouldn't be in the thread. I've done it before when people post hurtful or totally uncalled for posts.

I don't understand why some members hate the opposite sex. We are all part of the GLBT and Queer community. We should be supporting each other. Many gay men are my close friends and have been kinder to me in my life than most women have.

Guys like ensign-charlie and Light-Bearer are actually supportive of women and are friends of the ladies here. They actually like women as friends, not like some others on this site. I have to say that you two are welcome here, as is any other supportive guy.

It is important to have this space to feel comfortable in. As women, we are generally seen as sex objects in society and suffer abuse from many males throughout our lives. I like feeling safe here, connecting with other women (although I am still working on trusting women as friends again, which is why I can be shy at posting and getting to know others, plus I am all the way up here in Darwin) and supportive male allies in our community. I want this space to continue to be an effective way for women to communicate within our community.

Point is though, there are many, many sections of this site for boys. I remember last time we had this discussion some people started screeching about not wanting to be segregated. Hello, there are the chat threads and various others for mingling. This is the Ladies Lounge. It IS the segregated part of the site and if anyone doesn't like that, they can quite easily click on over to Chat or News. I'd hate to see a girl scared off by the rude boys (Charlie is the only one I've seen be respectful) or worse, one of the "bi" guys who come in here trying to pick up, have threesomes or starting boobie admiration threads.

Well put Violet.

I have met many a man from SS and love them dearly. Of course we need our own space, but if they are being supportive then I don't see that there is a massive problem with them posting in here. If there is something that really offends then report it.

I don't think the LL should be used as a pick up lounge for bi guys though, leave the ladies for the rest of the ladies, sheesh!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby

Point is though, there are many, many sections of this site for boys. I remember last time we had this discussion some people started screeching about not wanting to be segregated. Hello, there are the chat threads and various others for mingling. This is the Ladies Lounge. It IS the segregated part of the site and if anyone doesn't like that, they can quite easily click on over to Chat or News. I'd hate to see a girl scared off by the rude boys (Charlie is the only one I've seen be respectful) or worse, one of the "bi" guys who come in here trying to pick up, have threesomes or starting boobie admiration threads.

I understand. It does appear this site, as with most things in the community, caters to men. However, I think if we report the offensive posts, the website managers might do something. We can be inclusive, and some of the bolder and brasher females here can tell the guys off when they are being offensive.

And I do believe that the "bi" poster you mentioned might just be another fake account, designed to cause mischief and offence.