Am I the only one who finds 99.9% of manhunt/gaydar profiles offensive beyond the extreme?

Also, what is with every guy being into camping or 4 wheel driving? When did that happen? What happened to being into Liza or musicals? Whenever I confront a guy about it the typical response is, "it just doesn't do it for me - no offence", which is exactly like saying, "I'm not racist but ...".

Sure we've all got preferences. I like spellers. You know, someone who knows the difference between your and you're and knows there's no such word as "alot". And yes, I've been known to discriminate against non-spellers so maybe I'm a hypocrite.

But what's with straight acting? When did that become desirable? Am I the only one who finds the term "straight acting" at worst homophobic and at best confusing? What's straight acting about a guy blowing another guy or am I being naive? I would be very surprised if lesbians use the term.

Why aren't libraries as hot as nightclubs? Can you imagine a gay library? Why isn't a reader's build as desirable as a swimmer's build? Why isn't knowing all the words and moves to every STEPS song including the alternative second chorus chorey in Tragedy the kind of "camping" they're all talking about?

bahahahaha! I'm sure the drought will break soon sweetie!

lols

My experience with the online world is that it is a cesspool of creeps, loonies and sad cases. Sure there are some guys who are cool but as you say, people are so offensive.

I despise the term straight acting because in reality, how straight acting is it to have a cock in your mouth? I have this theory that guys are looking for straight acting guys as a means to "normalize" themselves, in a kind of internal homophobia.

I am RIGHT with you on this one tyson!
I look at SO many profiles and CRINGE lol - no asians, no femmes, straight-acting etc. They are all LABELS!!!
I happen to find MANY asians attractive. I also find androgyny amazing!! 4-wheel driving and camping - yeah I don't mind it - grew up on a farm but it isn't my favourite thing to do in the world.
So whether I'm attracted to a hot jock or a geeky twink or an athletic Asian/American/Whatever, I dunno - I am attracted to looks, but I don't write off whole races because of my personal preferences. I'm attracted to "straight-acting" (and I agree, WHO CARES) and I'm also attracted to 'Femme'. I can't name one of my friends who don't say a snide remark or judge someone when they see a really queeny guy at the club. I only judge them if they are a complete bitch - otherwise, I give em a chance.

Actually it is very disappointing... you read their profile thinking yeah they seem alright and then at the very end it excludes a whole bunch of people. Puts me off straight away!

The best ones though are those that claim str8 acting, but list Kylie and Mariah as their fave artists! Hahaha

I agree.. the whole 'no fats or fem's or asains' is pretty disgusting.. But it's really just a reflection on the person saying it... I tend to read it as 'I'm insecure, shallow and ignorant'.

sigh...

the old 'straight acting' argument raises its ugly head again.

We have no issue describing someone as 'camp' and yet this does not mean they are "enjoying nature while spending one or several nights outdoors". The label 'straight acting' exists because gay culture does not have any other word for it.. not because it some kind of self loathing reference. Yes i can see in some instances that it can be attached to men who don't embrace their sexuality or those who are part of the 'normal gay' movement, but without any kind of decent alternative it's always going to be around.

I used to be quite vehoment in its defence, but I can't even remeber the last time I used it myself.

Found this one which gives me some hope! I'll even over look the spelling mistakes and aversion to commas (for now):

His name is :works on american cruiseships

And his profile reads:
im over this i want a man bulls***, everyone here is a man just because someone might like kylie and drink a cruiser doesnt mean he is less a man then anyone else. grow some balls guys and realise that you cant change people...

so finally i know im not going to meet mr perfect on here but im up to meeting and making new friends so dont wink at me send me a msg and see wat happens

likes: ALF, NRL, Movies, swimming, dancing, guys

Quote:

Originally Posted by hazyinseptember

We have no issue describing someone as 'camp' and yet this does not mean they are "enjoying nature while spending one or several nights outdoors". The label 'straight acting' exists because gay culture does not have any other word for it.. not because it some kind of self loathing reference.

What about butch? I think butch is a good way of describing it because it reduces it and makes it kind of like a caricature. The opposite could then be Mary. They're both proper names and I think are a bit more fun and less judgemental. I'm a happy big ole Mary and proud of it.

^ its pretty much only used to describe masculine lesbians

I get called butch ALL the time, should I be offended?

There are a lot more profiles now saying "masculine" rather than str8 acting.

well the gaydar girls isn't that bad =P

Solution; DON'T GO THERE, girlfriend. You have to remember that those guys are there primarily to satisfy their sexual urges. They like it convenient, quick and discreet...

I love a good Mary, and starting to appreciate the asian form...

But the lesbian thing as well... there are people complaining all the time because they're expected to be a big butch dyke when they just want to be girly.

The majority of users on Grindr, Scruff, Manhunt, Aussiemen, Gaydar and other sites/apps are always online searching for what they can never find. Someone who completely meets all of their wants. Yet they don't seem to realise that they're not necessarily going to find the "right" guy on there.

Most guys put pictures of them self that was taken a few years ago when they were slimmer/more buff or just a really good picture. Some also describe them self as masculine when they actually in the middle of mastering the choreography to "Oops!.. I did it again" in their lounge room.

I'm someone who likes the idea of having fun, with a regular "friend" with the possibility of something serious when I meet someone and we like each other in that way. I don't have anything against anyone having one night stands. It's just not my thing.

I have profiles on the websites/apps (even though they are predominantly for hook ups) that i listed above and tend not to meet up with every guy that starts chatting to me due to the fact that it's not necessarily worth travelling if you're not going to what is depicted in their profile. I don't lie in my profile. I always have a recent picture on my profile and describe myself honestly (although it is generally quite difficult to describe oneself in a short paragraph".

I like to ask the guy questions about himself, note them and then talk to them later on and ask the same questions again. When their answers are the same, I give them a chance. I know that may seem a little odd to most people. However, after some of the guys that I've met over the years, it's kind of a requirement for me.

Guys should really just be themselves and their profiles should just depict the truth regarding who they are and what they look like. I do think it's wrong to discriminate against certain types of guys. However, at least you know straight up what their expectations are.

Hope that made sense, I'm half way to falling asleep.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tyson

there's no such word as "alot".

I'm just gonna leave this here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by aurrai

I'm just gonna leave this here.

Awesome.

Thanks alot.

on a profile of mine i have that i am not interested in gossip or drama queens

is that discriminatory???

Quote:

Originally Posted by tezza1108

……is that discriminatory???

yes, very discriminatory.

so how do I say I don't want anything to do with gossipers or those that love drama and if it isn't there they create it ...
that is ... without taking up all the word count allowed???

Quote:

Originally Posted by AvZ1987

The majority of users on Grindr, Scruff, Manhunt, Aussiemen, Gaydar and other sites/apps are always online searching for what they can never find. Someone who completely meets all of their wants. Yet they don't seem to realise that they're not necessarily going to find the "right" guy on there.

Funny who you bump into on Scruff ey?

What about 'no trannies'? Refering to drag queens, not transgender peoples. Is that shallow or just a given?

Quote:

Originally Posted by hazyinseptember

I agree.. the whole 'no fats or fem's or asains' is pretty disgusting.. But it's really just a reflection on the person saying it... I tend to read it as 'I'm insecure, shallow and ignorant'.

sigh...

the old 'straight acting' argument raises its ugly head again.

I used to be quite vehoment in its defence, but I can't even remeber the last time I used it myself.

Spot on Hazy!

"straight acting" = "i'm scared people might think i'm gay even though I behave in a masculine way" or "I deliberately behave in a masculine way just trying to fool people into thinking i'm not gay".

Many moons ago (late 1990s) I used to visit the web blog of a young american guy in LA who used to describe himself as "normal". By this he explained he is just an average guy-next-door type who enjoys all the usual activities any average guy does. It was his way of saying "just because I am gay does not mean i'm really all that different to anyone else".

Quote:

Originally Posted by hazyinseptember

Funny who you bump into on Scruff ey?

Haha... yes! Was a bit shocked actually (not in a bad way).

I had this charming young chap chatting to me last night =)

/vom

Quote:

Originally Posted by meezon04

I had this charming young chap chatting to me last night =)

so how much did you make ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by tezza1108

so how do I say I don't want anything to do with gossipers or those that love drama and if it isn't there they create it ...
that is ... without taking up all the word count allowed???

How about instead of telling everyone what you don't want, tell them what you do want?

Quote:

Originally Posted by meezon04

I had this charming young chap chatting to me last night =)

He sounds like a prince! How dare he besmirch the good name of Xanadu. Although, it was a place where nobody dared to go ... How appropriate.