yer out? camp to full volume! GO! *rolleyes*

I like it how the first 6 are suggestions to go and have a night out!

Quote:

a fellow member of the gay chess club,

how cute. is there really a gay chess club? can i join?

Quote:

What else should’ve made this list? Let us know with a comment below.

volunteer at a gay or LGBTIQ related charity or support organisation?
for eg the GLWA

how about "just be yourself, without shame"

11) direct vitriol at someone, anyone

Quote:

Originally Posted by faeriegoddess

how about "just be yourself, without shame"

Lets rename this article: The one thing to do when you come out, if you still find it necessary to announce your perfectly normal sexuality to the world.

I really love this notion of just be yourself....the "this is the way to be gay" guides are really starting to get my goat (or goad which ever you prefer) .

OMG this article should be titled "You've come out! Now let's out-gay Christmas!"

I'll admit, I skimmed most of it, the titles of the steps were enough to see this is a pointless read with no real help to anyone....

I mean really, talk with your close female friends? like they're the only ones that'll understand? D
Does this guy understand it is possible to be gay and have close male friends that are straight? Or is that Taboo down in Sydney?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doolander

OMG this article should be titled "You've come out! Now let's out-gay Christmas!"

I'll admit, I skimmed most of it, the titles of the steps were enough to see this is a pointless read with no real help to anyone....

I mean really, talk with your close female friends? like they're the only ones that'll understand? D
Does this guy understand it is possible to be gay and have close male friends that are straight? Or is that Taboo down in Sydney?

I think I am struggling with understanding these ideals too.
Too many of these articles create an image that you must act gay to be gay. I dont know about anyone else but I am not acting, I am gay.

Surprisingly in much the same way a straight person is straight, it does not define them it just is.

Never compare queers to straight people.

Only a global level, we do not share their privileges nor their general human rights.
As a result- at this moment in time- our sexuality defines us and here is why.

To the outside world at large- we are dirty fucking perverts. They see us as fags and lezzo's no matter what else it is that we may be doing in our lives.

At this moment in time- it is important for us to be defined by our sexuality because being gay- though not a choice - is political.

When I am afforded the same rights as those who share this planet with me- I will allow my humanity to define me.

people are people. treat others as you wish to be treated. do not discriminate if you can help it. its not their fault- they were born that way.

this piece is full of so many bs assumptions that i barely know where to start
so i won't
instead i would ask samesame to preface this type of article with

'for gay-identifying men'

because that is who this article is written for (heaven help you) the author acknowledges this when he writes, for example

"they will understand and relate experiences about the gay community and life as a gay man"

this is the second bizarrely titled samesame opinion piece in a matter of days, lift your game

Quote:

Originally Posted by neal james

people are people. treat others as you wish to be treated. do not discriminate if you can help it. its not their fault- they were born that way.

I prefer turtles.

Same Same Media Player

Zombie Kid Likes Turtles - YouTube

Quote:

Originally Posted by Recreated355

this piece is full of so many bs assumptions that i barely know where to start
so i won't
instead i would ask samesame to preface this type of article with

'for gay-identifying men'

because that is who this article is written for (heaven help you) the author acknowledges this when he writes, for example

"they will understand and relate experiences about the gay community and life as a gay man"

this is the second bizarrely titled samesame opinion piece in a matter of days, lift your game

Can I get an AMEN

Quote:

Originally Posted by Light-Bearer

Never compare queers to straight people.

Only a global level, we do not share their privileges nor their general human rights.
As a result- at this moment in time- our sexuality defines us and here is why.

To the outside world at large- we are dirty fucking perverts. They see us as fags and lezzo's no matter what else it is that we may be doing in our lives.

At this moment in time- it is important for us to be defined by our sexuality because being gay- though not a choice - is political.

When I am afforded the same rights as those who share this planet with me- I will allow my humanity to define me.

+1

Every knock at the door makes me dread that the poofter police are coming to revoke my gay licence. This article just confirms it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by camiseta

Every knock at the door makes me dread that the poofter police are coming to revoke my gay licence. This article just confirms it.

Really I thought when the poofter police knock on your door, they come equipped with a boom box and velcro pants

Maybe I should commit a faggot crime so that the poofter police come around?

Must be a lot better than Jersey Score. Maybe they can call it NYPD Blue Balls.

We are going out and buying you cop porn tonight Cammy

Also- you realise I have over five million porn dvds- you can help yourself.

It's free and easy.

I should start a porn rental business.

I was gogo dancing and enticing a class of burlesque queens to come with me to hula hoop classes. I missed this whole cop porn thread. Can we go tonight? I need a dress anyway.

Whoever wrote this has pretty weird priorities...

I mean, gay bars before friends or even knowing about your community? That could end up with you in a bath full of ice and your liver in a box to china...

Quote:

Originally Posted by JesseMatheson

Whoever wrote this has pretty weird priorities...

I mean, gay bars before friends or even knowing about your community? That could end up with you in a bath full of ice and your liver in a box to china...

This is my dream.

i am currently of the view that straight people are dumber than us gays.
they dont know what its like. im more of an, "exception to the rule" kinda person

^^ straight people are ignorant on this. Not all, but a good proportion are.

So here's my problem with this list. I've made it my new year's resolution to 'Tell Someone' and after a rocky start and loads of mixed communication and some freaking out, one of my best friends in Indiana became the first person to know (hey, email still counts). Fast forward two months, and I'm sitting on the top floor of a coffee shop in Ponsonby, hands all sweaty and unable to look three former colleagues and good friends in the eye as I blurt out that I'm gay (apparently the build-up was too much and they all thought I was dying or getting deported, but anyway – I got it done). Then there was the time I found out that my boss (someone I really, really respect) have been asking people we both knew about what's been bugging me and if I've been having problems at home. I freaked out and in a blind rage sent him a completely inappropriate email (I definitely need to stop doing that) about things that I've never told anyone, including that I was a faggot and that he should just mind his business. Got it all sorted in the end and now some more people know. Parents not included, as dad will most likely literally try to kill me.

So, looking at the list, I've done 1, 2, 4, 7 and 8, and not in that particular order. While I've told two female friends and a good mate of mine the first time, so far I've mostly told guys I'm friends with or work with. The women I've told are all looking to get me laid apparently, which is not where I'm at right now; while the male friends I've told have all given me the most support and advice while asking the really tough questions and working through those with me (like, what are you going to do about your parents? and how does this affect you being a Christian and your relationship with God). And for somehow just about everyone seems to have a damned fine gay brother, which really bugs me for some reason.

But back to the list, before the ramblings get obscene. How do you 'get out amongst the gays' when you're not completely out? Do I have to go get laid first chance I get? First, sex is still kind of a big deal for me, and I believe it should happen with someone I either love or have the potential for loving. And, I haven't technically been a virgin since I was six, so I'm still nervous about it hurting like it did back when I was a kid. I've never kissed a guy, which is something that's been on my mind for a while now (have just discovered Matt Bomer in White Collar – how criminally beautiful is that man?!), but again – I've waited this long (am 25 now), should I just go and snog the first willing guy senseless? Is there such a thing as courting and dating in the gay community? This all sounds really, stupidly old-fashioned, but shouldn't some romance accompany a first make out session and then lead to sex when we've both developed some actual feelings for each other? Am I really supposed to start hanging out at gay clubs and gay events and act gay just because I am? I've gotten over my paralysing fear of letting people in, and so far everyone's been great. It took a whole lot of time to understand that God made me exactly who I am and that He didn't just fuck up or stopped paying attention when He plotted out my life's plan. I'm gay, and that's alright. Things are getting better. What I don't understand is why this list is suggesting that I go and find myself some gay friends, because that'll just make everything easier? Or that I should subscribe to DNA or go to the gym to 'perve' on hot guys? Really? Dante's Cove? Seriously?

I'm not sure what I was expecting from this list or if I'm just reading too much into it. Probably am, but would someone at SameSame please give this list another shot and not focus on being a pervert or going out to gay clubs and bars? I'd like to know what good things I can do in my community, or what I could be doing to become an activist now that I'm part of a minority that's still very misunderstood (but accepted if somewhat grudgingly accepted) in New Zealand. I'd like advice on what to do about the friends who might not be cool with me being gay? Or how to approach introducing my gay friends (and one day, boyfriends) to my blindingly conservative parents? How to deal with homophobes or handle ignorant gay jokes (I'm in the advertising industry and sometimes it's our clients who make the meanest ones) with grace. It feels like my mind's just vomiting questions now, so I'll stop. But would someone – anyone – just give this another go?

Hi Paranoid,

I'm finding myself in the exact same predicament as you, except I have come out to family so it makes things slightly different. But I too have the same similar questions. Have done most of what was on the list, except the "be safe" point.

As for the having gay friends, I found that having met some awesome people in real life from this same same forum has helped ease me into the community and understand it that little bit more. Also its great to have chats about stuff you cant do comfortably with some straight friends (male or female). Not saying its essential, but I found myself a bit lost as to where to start.

Perhaps I too am old-fashioned and believe there is more to it than sleeping with the first guy I come across who is somewhat interested for my first time... I guess at this point in time, I'm looking for someone to develop a LTR with. Here's hoping for someone out there who actually cares about who I am rather than whats underneath... (perhaps I may be generalising/stereotyping too hard here, apologies).

Unfortunately, because we're both in such similar situations, I can't answer all your questions. I'll leave it to those with more experience, knowledge and wisdom to guide you (and me) as what to do.

Man, I fucked up. Can anyone recommend a good gym?

Quote:

Originally Posted by RadisCarpis

Man, I fucked up. Can anyone recommend a good gym?

Really depends on your focus



Cardio




Strength Training

I still need cop porn