lol thought you looked different BW!!!

Grr. Sorry girls, Bar Wench here. Hopefully I can get things sorted out

Sorry Svettles, I didn't mean to come across that way. As I said, I very much admire that you were able to find the motivation to change the things that were no longer working for you. That must have taken a lot of detemination and I wouldn't want you to think that I'm belittling that in any way. I apologise if you thought that I was.

And thanks Mac, but I think you may have misread what I was saying. Money is and has always been a means to an end for me, and I certainly wouldn't judge my successes or failures on my bank balance. I am more frustrated with the fact that I am unable to find meaningful or fulfilling work, no matter what my qualifications or skills. At times it feels as though I will always be chasing my tail and I don't know what it will take for that to come to an end. I'm sure that many people have similar feelings.

I guess I have always been happy to plod along in life, with my only real goal being self-sufficiency. It is a rude awakening when you start to realise that people do judge you and the decisions in life by your material posessions or career status. It's something that i'm really having a hard time coming to terms with because it's a mindset that i've never subscribed to. But as I'm getting older it's getting harder and harder to escape the fact that just plodding along doesn't seem to cut it any more if you want to be taken seriously.

BW I didn't mean for my post to be money "focussed" either. I am tired. Am on this new fitness thing (so have got up at 5 three times this week) and by Friday I struggle to find the words to what I was trying to say.

I understand what you are saying I think and I had a perception like that when I was in my 30's (as you are). Through life experiences, my perceptions on my own goals changed. I got handed this book about this lady who went on to become one of the first female buddhist monks and she found personal fulfillment in living in this cave. Not that I am endorsing living in a cave..but I could see the meaning behind what she was trying to say. I had my 30 year school reunion as you know and the comment was made how it is in your 30s that the judgment of people tends to be on material possessions and career status, but once you get to the 40s...its more on health, happiness and experiencing life. Not that people who have gone on to be succesful with their careers and had wonderful material possessions were thought badly off. It was more that the division of who drove what, who had what...no one cared anymore from both sides of the spectrum. We liked each other for who they were now as people. Thank God. Still tired...so still probably not written very well. Ok off to bed.. Hope you have a great weekend with your beautiful girl.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chimpy

Feel free to join me at club pathetic Trina, Svettles whole I got my life on track story just made my sitting around eating cold beans out of a can routine seem even more lame.

You say that now, but where will this 'club' be when I need it? Probably off partying, looking effortlessly good looking. :P

.
.
.
I went out last night and (because I look like a ten year old boy with big tits) got carded twice at the same bar, said hello to exactly one woman who backed away with a 'freak' look in her face, and the only person who hit on me was my cab driver on the way home. Although hit on probably isn't the right word.

Ah well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by trina2004

You say that now, but where will this 'club' be when I need it? Probably off partying, looking effortlessly good looking.

Or sitting stoned on the couch in its pajamas because the "date" it organised ditched it.

Curiouser and curiouser.....

The signs are all coming together slowly.

My eyeballs hurt. I want my bed.

I love the fact that you have NO idea who else actually knows E V E R Y T H I N G.
And you apparently just keep digging that whole deeper for yourself.
Well done. Keep up your usual good work.

Love Mondays for tennis tonight. And yoga in the morning.
This is going to be a good week.

Omg really hate my fuckin job. need to get out need to get out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by linkin

Like Facebook... but no holds barred

It shits me that 2 great friends cant be happy for me achiving a tiny win in life, just because they are having a bad day.
If anything good happens for them, Im over joyed for them, asking all the questions and letting them generally beam, but for me all they can do is be critical and treat it like its not that important. It may not be important to them, but it is to me, which should make it important to them.

asshole, room opening up on my friends list me thinks

OMM is serious, intense, violent, bruising, painful, crossing a line angry sex!
Stupid dream..

Quote:

Originally Posted by trina2004

You say that now, but where will this 'club' be when I need it? Probably off partying, looking effortlessly good looking. :P

.
.
.
I went out last night and (because I look like a ten year old boy with big tits) got carded twice at the same bar, said hello to exactly one woman who backed away with a 'freak' look in her face, and the only person who hit on me was my cab driver on the way home. Although hit on probably isn't the right word.

Ah well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chimpy

Or sitting stoned on the couch in its pajamas because the "date" it organised ditched it.

WTF is wrong with gay women? Not to piss in your pockets girls, but if you are anything like I imagine you to be, I would be keen as fuck to date you. It sucks that you have to feel inadequate when you're both clearly kickass birds. *End rant*.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chimpy

Or sitting stoned on the couch in its pajamas because the "date" it organised ditched it.

well...well...still..at least you had weed.

Oh no don't get me wrong wenchy, I know I'm awesome, it's just other people who don't think so.

I am going to tell you something you have wanted to hear all your life....

I believe in you.

Yes...you.

Too many things.

How it takes something like that for people to put things in perspective…A shame people wait for those things to happen before they change…Myself included…

Her.

Body issues.

China.

Life after uni.

Life now.

At least I have the next 2 hours on the bus to think about all this in more depth….

I'm not even sure if I'm being sarcastic now :| ehhh

Fucking food!! Day 1 of healthy eating and all i seem to think about is food. fuck. even contemplated getting a tongue piercing so my tongue swells up and i cant eat. lol.

Quote:

Originally Posted by undawundawoman

even contemplated getting a tongue piercing so my tongue swells up and i cant eat. lol.

Don't count in it. When I got my first one, no swelling whatsoever!! If you want swellIng, bang 2 in there at once.

Just not around yr 12 exam speech time...that's not fun..

Quote:

Originally Posted by linkin

If you want swellIng, bang 2 in there at once.

Just not around yr 12 exam speech time...that's not fun..

lol... noooo did u really!?! would sure have everyones attention.

1st one was sweet, even my folks didn't know I had it for nearly 2 years. When I got the 2nd one, they both swelled up and my HSC exam speech consisted of a giant lisp and loads of spitting.

The folks noticed something was up then. They still hadn't noticed my first tattoo by then tho...

lol.. ohh gosh im just imagining the speech. Hey least u still got up there, lisp and all. I freak out thinking about speaking in front of people.
Funny the things parents dont notice.... and the things we get away with!

Sigh

Fuck ;/

How bored I am and how you people haven't writen much today. What kind of a morning paper is this? Same goes for my facebook. Must be what it feels like to open up a newspaper on a slow news day.

Past pain turning into present pain.

I'm right there with you Dash. Although it's all my doing, obviously.

I think I'm going to give up on this relationship caper, it really isn't working out for me.

I'm now going to consult with my one true love... beer.

@ BW.. Surely relationships shouldnt be THIS hard!! I wonder if despite my best efforts im just not cut out for it.

Mmmm alcohol.

SONGPOP PUTS TOO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME TO GET SONGS RIGHT FAST Omg I get songs I know well wrong guuuhhhh pressure

Hahaha