Does anyone else get offended when people refer to you as being very gay? Today I overheard someone talking about myself saying "it's like he has read a manuel on how to be gay" and it hurt not that it was meant to offend much more in a jokey way but it cut deep.

:Hugs:

I know how you feel. When I used to study chem eng at RMIT, I hate it when the guys in my course try to minick my voice and move their hands in a very gayish way. My voice doesn't even sound gay, but they want to make those cheap jokes in front of their friends. I wish I stood up for myself. But I didn't. I ignored those people and most of the time, I was too frighten to get close to them. In the end, I didn't get to finish the course.

I love super gay boys. They make me giggle. You want to make fun of me, GO FOR IT!!!

Do you stand up for your self or ignore those mean people - that's the question.

I chose to ignore it but on the way home ( an hour long trip) I had time to think about and have tried to convince myself I will be more assertive and not let people walk al over me but I'm a sensitive guy so I'm not sure I can even pull off being more assertive...It's strange tho I know I have alot of stereotypical gay interests like fashion and girly music and television shows and films but I don't want to seem blatantly homosexual.

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Originally Posted by jimmy08

Do you stand up for your self or ignore those mean people - that's the question.

Everyone except the people i love, i've developed this fuck you attitude towards. So it doesn’t matter, you don’t exist to me. For every person who’s a cunt to you, just imagine there will be 10 more that are awesome

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Originally Posted by jimmy08

:Hugs:

I know how you feel. When I used to study chem eng at RMIT, I hate it when the guys in my course try to minick my voice and move their hands in a very gayish way. My voice doesn't even sound gay, but they want to make those cheap jokes in front of their friends. I wish I stood up for myself. But I didn't. I ignored those people and most of the time, I was too frighten to get close to them. In the end, I didn't get to finish the course.

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Originally Posted by hellbent

but on the way home ( an hour long trip)

you need to move closer to your uni to free up some time

Listen, you have a few courses of action you can take.

One, you can ignore them, but really they'll just feel emboldened and you'll feel worse.

Two, you can go up to them and try and be mature. "Excuse me, I'm really not appreciating your impressions. They're really quite immature, and you're how old now?" However, the risk here is that someone immature enough to be impersonating you won't be mature enough to grow up. They'll either laugh, ignore you, or get aggressive.

Option three is my favourite. You walk up to them and say "No, no, you're doing it all wrong. Here's how you swish it up!", and you say that line really swishy. Ham it up, be really gay and limp wristed to the point of obvious satire. Then add "You're going to have to try alot harder if you want to be as good a cocksucker as me." Then wink, and saunter off. They'll be too stunned to respond. Maybe one of them will scream "Faggot!" or the like, but don't break your pace.

Then if they do it again next time, just give em a wink, and maybe if you're feeling bold, stick your tongue into your cheek like you're giving head. You're playing along. Now you really don't seem bothered at all, and you're in on the joke. They'll leave you alone soon enough because you're no longer a victim.


That said, I never really had this problem. I'm quite straight acting, but not so much that preppy-jockish-actually-quite-faggy straight acting, but that lazy-slob-fashion-retard straight acting.

I hate when people tell me I am butch or straight acting. It is annoying mostly, but I feel it enforces the expectation that I'm always masculine. And it also affirms the fact that I'm probably perceived as something I am not... probably by potential dates...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mac181

Option three is my favourite. You walk up to them and say "No, no, you're doing it all wrong. Here's how you swish it up!", and you say that line really swishy. Ham it up, be really gay and limp wristed to the point of obvious satire. Then add "You're going to have to try alot harder if you want to be as good a cocksucker as me." Then wink, and saunter off. They'll be too stunned to respond. Maybe one of them will scream "Faggot!" or the like, but don't break your pace.

Then if they do it again next time, just give em a wink, and maybe if you're feeling bold, stick your tongue into your cheek like you're giving head. You're playing along. Now you really don't seem bothered at all, and you're in on the joke. They'll leave you alone soon enough because you're no longer a victim.

Totally agree, you just need to show confidence in yourself and who you are, and own it!!

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Originally Posted by Mac181

That said, I never really had this problem. I'm quite straight acting, but not so much that preppy-jockish-actually-quite-faggy straight acting, but that lazy-slob-fashion-retard straight acting.

Same, and yet people still ask me for fashion advice lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by hellbent

I chose to ignore it but on the way home ( an hour long trip) I had time to think about and have tried to convince myself I will be more assertive and not let people walk al over me but I'm a sensitive guy who is only 5 foot 4 so I'm not sure I can even pull off being more assertive...It's strange tho I know I have alot of stereotypical gay interests like fashion and girly music and television shows and films but I don't want to seem blatantly homosexual.

I think I have changed a lot. When people tease me I would stand up for myself - but it really depends on the situation and how many people are around. Back in my school years, I was a whimp. I would get too emotional and even cry when I fight back so I ignored those mean people but I always ended up feeling sad when I came home after school.

I really admire those gay people who have a happy up bringing. I like how they can be themselves and not having to worry what other people think of them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hellbent

Does anyone else get offended when people refer to you as being very gay? Today I overheard someone talking about myself saying "it's like he has read a manuel on how to be gay" and it hurt not that it was meant to offend much more in a jokey way but it cut deep.

fuck em
ignore them

easy said I know.

So you are still coming to terms with everything ? you are what you are and they are just ignorant.

Give them a right hook.

Nobody has ever referred to me as being "very gay" but if they had I wouldn't have been offended. What people say about you says more about them than about you. I've been copping slings and arrows (apologies to Shakespeare) all my life but I've never lost a minutes sleep over it because I just don't give a fuck what people say or what people think.

You need to ask yourself why it "cut deep" and decide whether or not you want to go through life being "offended". Personally I think life is too short.

I'm just so over being taken advantage of by guys who treat me like a sex object, my family and supposed friends who always make jokes at my expense to which I am all to accomodating with until i get to point where I realise that they never or rarely say anything nice to balance it out and then I think fuck them all but then I come to the realisation that if I took that attitude I would really have nobody.

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Originally Posted by Lazzarus

Nobody has ever referred to me as being "very gay" but if they had I wouldn't have been offended. What people say about you says more about them than about you. I've been copping slings and arrows (apologies to Shakespeare) all my life but I've never lost a minutes sleep over it because I just don't give a fuck what people say or what people think.

You need to ask yourself why it "cut deep" and decide whether or not you want to go through life being "offended". Personally I think life is too short.

+ 1

Life is too short to be worried about things like this. Most people will be called something during their life. Try not to dwell on it and certainly dont let it affect your studies.

idk, I have had people say this to me, but in a harmful type, not a oh he is a super nice gay guy. It can anoy me, but only if it is used in a bad way...... I suppose it is on all how you take it, will those comments change they way you think of your friends??? or will it change the way of which you think of yourself ??

I guess no good can come from dwelling on it but it's sad because life is all about relationships. :-(

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Originally Posted by bobbyandmimmi

idk, I have had people say this to me, but in a harmful type, not a oh he is a super nice gay guy. It can anoy me, but only if it is used in a bad way...... I suppose it is on all how you take it, will those comments change they way you think of your friends??? or will it change the way of which you think of yourself ??

Both it changes the way I think about myself and how I come across to people and my friends by making me question whether they really like me or not...

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Originally Posted by atomic-teddy

I hate when people tell me I am butch or straight acting. It is annoying mostly, but I feel it enforces the expectation that I'm always masculine. And it also affirms the fact that I'm probably perceived as something I am not... probably by potential dates...

It's fun to sometimes subvert expectations and really camp it up. That said, I wouldn't mind if more gay guys could pick me out of a crowd, since it gets old having to do all the legwork myself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hellbent

I'm just so over being taken advantage of by guys who treat me like a sex object, my family and supposed friends who always make jokes at my expense to which I am all to accomodating with until i get to point where I realise that they never or rarely say anything nice to balance it out and then I think fuck them all but then I come to the realisation that if I took that attitude I would really have nobody.

Tom? :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by hellbent

I guess no good can come from dwelling on it but it's sad because life is all about relationships. :-(

No, it's all about you. Relationships may enhance how you relate to the world, but ultimately life is simply about making the most out of whatever time you have while doing the least damage to the rest of the world on the way.

eh?

Quote:

Originally Posted by hellbent

I'm just so over being taken advantage of by guys who treat me like a sex object, my family and supposed friends who always make jokes at my expense to which I am all to accomodating with until i get to point where I realise that they never or rarely say anything nice to balance it out and then I think fuck them all but then I come to the realisation that if I took that attitude I would really have nobody.

whats the makeup of your friends group? are most of them gay or straight, or a mix of both?

An interesting way of looking at things Mac181 but I don't go to gay clubs too shy I only use websites so doesn't really apply to me.

My name is Ben but I am not mentioning my last name here for only my friends on here should know who I am.

What kind of world would we live in everyone only ever thought about themselves?

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Originally Posted by hellbent

What kind of world would we live in everyone only ever thought about themselves?

No, no, don't get me wrong. I don't advocate ONLY thinking about yourself. However, you need to put yourself and your interests and your well-being, both physical and mental, first. Your life cannot be "all about relationships", because that would mean your life is only complete in the context that others put it in, and that's simply incorrect. You must be a complete and happy person, and then you can start forming fulfilling relationships.

Or as a friend mine once drunkenly slurred it, "Once you have everything you need, you still need to choose to be happy."

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My name is Ben but I am not mentioning my last name here for only my friends on here should know who I am.

A friend of mine is your age and lives near you and we tease him a bit for his gayness and his height, but we love him regardless. I figured it was maybe a 5% chance you = Tom, but it was worth taking that shot.

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Originally Posted by hellbent

What kind of world would we live in everyone only ever thought about themselves?

The world you do live in.

The biggest mistake people make in life is doing what they feel they need to do rather than what they want to do. It's not rocket science: you don't need people's approval and you don't need excuses. The reason the world is so fucked up is because we are all trying to be what other people expect us to be rather than what we want to be because we are all afraid of offending people or not being liked. There is no right or wrong , only right or wrong for me... and you... and everyone else and everyone's idea of right and wrong and gay and "very gay" etc, etc, etc will be different. So why worry about other people's idea of right or what their opinions might be? Their opinions affect them, you shouldn't allow them to affect you. If you ARE very gay then what does that really mean? (My idea of "very gay" is a guy in full drag , for someone else it might be a guy wearing a pink shirt... get my drift?)Surely it is only an opinion expressed by others??? so why should that matter? Do you need the opinions of others to determine what is acceptable and what should and shouldn't make you happy?

Stop worrying what other people say or think for fuck sake. You weren't put on this planet to make anyone else besides yourself happy and if you manage to offend/upset/annoy etc people along the way then consider that a bonus, I've spent my life annoying the crap out of people and behaving atrociously and I've never stopped for a minute to wonder whether or not I wasn't having fun.
Non, je nais regrette rien (for badamj)

Ive never had that 'you dont/do sound gay' comment, but I always get the 'you dont sound Australian' comment. Just cause I dont talk like a lower class peasant uneducated hick Bogan I dont sound Australian.

Last person who said that to me I said 'What the fuck would you know, you have no education and are probably 4 generations inbred"

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Originally Posted by shazzboy

Ive never had that 'you dont/do sound gay' comment, but I always get the 'you dont sound Australian' comment. Just cause I dont talk like a lower class peasant uneducated hick Bogan I dont sound Australian.

Last person who said that to me I said 'What the fuck would you know, you have no education and are probably 4 generations inbred"

I know the feeling...

People always think I am English because of the way I pronounce my vowels (if anyone has been to the UK recently you would know that this isn't a compliment... nobody speaks English over there anymore... nobody IS English over there anymore -_-)

anyway... Bogans suck!

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Originally Posted by Lazzarus

(if anyone has been to the UK recently you would know that this isn't a compliment... nobody speaks English over there anymore... nobody IS English over there anymore -_-)

Mmm, do I smell a delicious racist tirade simmering under the surface?

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Originally Posted by Mac181

Mmm, do I smell a delicious racist tirade simmering under the surface?

Hell no, I don't make comments, merely observations.
I've never subscribed to all that PC crap *yawn*
There was a time when I was young when it was considered wrong to tell a lie, now it is considered wrong to tell the truth... FUCK THAT!

I'm not racist, I've had a lot of black, Asian, Gentile etc cum inside of me. People are too scared to say what they really think - what everyone thinks, because it's not au fait with the current thinking of the time and like I was saying, we don't wish to offend now do we? lol