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Keeping your sexcapades a secret

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broomw +

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Default Keeping your sexcapades a secret
I think is a very good read. I think you've summed up most of the reasons that answer your question. I think the main issue is that too many people automatically equate gay sex with STIs. So if a gay man has multiple sexual partners many people automatically think there is a high risk of STIs involved and that many gay men don't use protection. This misunderstanding and fear exists within many forms in or society. For example, look at how many blood donation centres will not accept blood donations with gay men . When you watch many HIV/AIDS documentaries or movies, such as "And the Band Played On", those movies also highlight men having sex with other men as one of the major causes of the spread of HIV/AIDS. Unfortunately, I think it's become so institutionalised in our society that it exists within a deep rooted fear, based in lack of education and since many people also like to find ways to label "being gay" as negatively as possible, that even adds more fuel to the mis-education of gay sex in our society.

Best quote ever: "Bed-hopping straight men are hailed as heroes yet gay guys are shamed into silence, yet morally speaking, sex with a man is no different to sex with a woman – full stop. "
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We've had some good replies to the question Why is indulging in copious amounts of safe gay sex so taboo? on Twitter:

"Cause it's taking some of the best looking and tolerant stock out of the possible gene pool? *giggle* They's just jealous!" - sharpcontrast

"Internalised homophobia? A lot of society still sees gay sex as deviant. Hangover from theocracy of the past?" - Mark Cassone
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Interesting read.

I've never understood why so many gay people or people in general really attach so much significance to sex, I guess if you were to consider the act of sex as being solely for the purpose of creating a life that it would then be a rather special activity; however, most people and I assume all gay people have sex just because it feels good without thinking that those brain chemicals and engorged genitals were designed for a more practical purpose.
The idea that sex can't feel good or is of a lesser value if you are not in a serious, monogamous relationship all seems a bit silly to me. A loving and committed relationship certainly benefits from the intimacy that sex brings but we shouldn't assume a relationship needs sex to work or that sex needs a relationship to be meaningful - sex doesn't need to be meaningful and there have been many a satisfying relationship that didn't involve sex.
I'm reasonably sure we have all had sex with our hands, some of us have done the nasty with inanimate objects and I'm quietly confident that a large percentage of us have had sex with strangers or at the least people we didn't love.

To fool ourselves into thinking sex cannot or should not be abstracted from our emotions is something I don't understand because to me love and sex are not the same thing. Yes sex is great with my partner of 15 years but it's also pretty damn cool with that hottie I met down the pub last Friday night
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i have no idea what this guy is talking about. most homos i know are unashamed hussies. it's harder to get them to stop talking about their sex-lives, grindr, prospects...

if there's a stigma about being a slut, it isn't in evidence on this site, where the threads tend to ramble on & on & on about the joys of being a ho-dawg.

i have no preference either way, but don't tell me there's a 'stigma' with admitting you're a slut. in gayland in particular, it's quite the reverse.
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not in my world do we keep sex secrets from each other.
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A straight freind of mine was braggin to me once about how many girls he had sex with during a trip to the u.k. I called him a slut just a joke and he actually got pretty offended sayin that straight guys can never be sluts. I tried to ask him why he thought that but all I got was "its just how things go". He dosn't really talk about his sexual encounters to me anymore.
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My friends and I have slut offs.

We don't even have a prize or any rules. Or even an end date. And people can join whenever they want.

I'm currently on hiatus.
I've earned it baby.
It is no measure of health- to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
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Hiatus

when till 12pm tonite ?

can bet yr cods if a skater pinged yr grinder you be out
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Light-Bearer View Post

My friends and I have slut offs.

We don't even have a prize or any rules. Or even an end date. And people can join whenever they want.

I'm currently on hiatus.
I've earned it baby.

do you play Slut of the Century? Who wants to be a massive whore? clap or no clap?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Virgindirk View Post

A straight freind of mine was braggin to me once about how many girls he had sex with during a trip to the u.k. I called him a slut just a joke and he actually got pretty offended sayin that straight guys can never be sluts. I tried to ask him why he thought that but all I got was "its just how things go". He dosn't really talk about his sexual encounters to me anymore.

sounds precious.

just for a laugh, next time he comes to your house ask him to please sit down when he pees...
it's good to have an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out -nicolette henrickson
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Light-Bearer View Post

My friends and I have slut offs.

We don't even have a prize or any rules. Or even an end date. And people can join whenever they want.

I'm currently on hiatus.
I've earned it baby.

oh pish - you're playing like betty white.

come on, jizzebel: what's your record for the most at once (or at one sitting, so to speak)?
it's good to have an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out -nicolette henrickson
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Straight guys are just as slutty as gay guys if not worse imo, some of the stories they tell me make me feel ill... and a little envious of the the poor girls they trash - I don't get the dynamic when it comes to straight sex, it's all too weird for me. Thinking about it, my straight friends talk about sex and their conquests a lot more often than my gay friends.



(yes I have friends -_-)
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Quote:

Originally Posted by neal james View Post

oh pish - you're playing like betty white.

come on, jizzebel: what's your record for the most at once (or at one sitting, so to speak)?

Most at once: 7

In my bed.
Skater boy orgy
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This is like Cluedo.

You?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by TheOldie View Post

Hiatus

when till 12pm tonite ?

can bet yr cods if a skater pinged yr grinder you be out

I've been off it for weeks.

I'm not always a slut.

Within relationships I'm actually monogamous.

When I'm single. I go through periods.

Being a slut is awesome. Everybody should look into it
It is no measure of health- to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Light-Bearer View Post

This is like Cluedo.

You?

hoestly can't tell you. i stopped counting after bachelor #5, although they did have to tie me down.

so i guess "in the dungeon, with the rope".

i get bored easily & i slip out of knots as well - all part of being versatile.

but i'm no slut. it was someone else's fantasy. i was just paying back a friend for teaching me a few rope tricks.
it's good to have an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out -nicolette henrickson

Last edited by neal james: 26th October 2011 at 10:40 PM

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As usual.

I like your style
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Mac181 +

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Do you wear condoms during oral sex? Odds are you may pick up an STI given enough time, and that probability is so much higher with gay men for a number of reasons.
- Higher rates of concurrent partners
- Easier transmission of cock-to-mouth than pussy-to-mouth
- Lack of throat symptoms
- Lack of throat swab testing

I think most gay guys will get an STI at some point, and high rates of casual concurrent partners makes that rate go through the roof. That's why there's still slut-shaming in the gay community.
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ok, i lied. kinda a little bit my fantasy too.

i just wish they didn't look so scared- there really wasn't that much blood.

those chain links really do nip a bit...
it's good to have an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out -nicolette henrickson
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mac181 View Post

Do you wear condoms during oral sex? Odds are you may pick up an STI given enough time, and that probability is so much higher with gay men for a number of reasons.
- Higher rates of concurrent partners
- Easier transmission of cock-to-mouth than pussy-to-mouth
- Lack of throat symptoms
- Lack of throat swab testing

I think most gay guys will get an STI at some point, and high rates of casual concurrent partners makes that rate go through the roof. That's why there's still slut-shaming in the gay community.

I think it has more to it than that.
Excuse me if this is slurred. I'm exceptionally drunk.

The shaming of sluts has got to do with our views of sex and the morality we place upon it, beliefs or disbeliefs in sexual addiction and the fear that if someone has had multiple sexual partners- that they cannot have meaningful and monogamous relationships.

It's the age old dilema of guilt attached to sexuality
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the whore or madonna complex
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Also- I've been around. And I've mets lot of people yadda yadda.

I honestly think, the reason that people have such a problem with sluts- is because they are secretly jealous.

Admit it.

Just a little
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Quote:

Originally Posted by Light-Bearer View Post

I honestly think, the reason that people have such a problem with sluts- is because they are secretly jealous.

agreed - it seems they are envious that others have tossed off the shackles so easily and apparently so care-free
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agreed. but tbh, i'd be way sluttier if it weren't for the diseases.

like i would ride a bike without a helmet if i hadn't been run over once already.

also, i don't wanna get bored. i like a nice surprise, now & then.

i hate boring sluts, like i hate boring drug (or anything) addicts - it's a fine line between user & loser.
it's good to have an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out -nicolette henrickson
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Disease is always something I am very thoughtful and careful about and only play safe and most of time only participate in low risk activities with randoms
It is no measure of health- to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
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It's not that I have any judgement around sluts. I just think talking about it constantly is sooooo '97.
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Default Keeping your sexcapades a secret
I used to have many boy toys while i was single and it was fun. Now Im married lol..I only have one but he is worth it :P
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I don't know- there is this whole neo conservative sexual thing happening at the moment.

Perhaps you're right brother of mine.
Perhaps it's time they stopped talking about it- and actually went out and fucked.
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I dunno about this neo conservative business. I think it might just be the young folk you are associating with. I remember I was all "ew, I would never..." when I was a youngster.
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talking about it is like low-budget diy porn. keeps dirty wholesome sex within everyone's reach when someone you know has been dp'd at a spit-roast.

is better than the net & it beats watching over-waxed & glazed hams going "yeeeah! yeeeah! oh yeeeeeeaah!" with their socks on.

there's a pron film-fest here on at the moment & i think it's pretty cool people getting together & talking about sexing. i mean, it beats the weather, gadgets, politics (hi lw!) or religion.

as long as it's not too one sided... or yeah, is just wanking really.
it's good to have an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out -nicolette henrickson
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