When talking online you may come across some people that are particularly keen on their grammar and punctuation. If you're looking for a long term relationship with these people it might not workout. However, if you you have a penchant for the more educated chap here are some tips for you to avoid being judged on the spot for your literary deficiencies.

Things to look out for:
Glasses - It's a safe bet that homos with glasses will always be picky. Particularly on grammar, be warned.

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There are some exceptions to this rule; the douche-bag. If something doesn't seem right, the glasses might just be a part of his 'look'. In this case you should be able to freely violate as many English rules as you like without the fear of being judged.

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I agree a hunner precent. I int one to care about grammer n speeling alot. Sum of these guyz r totes hawt tho.

Do you two need to be separated?

When talking online to someone you suspect might be judgmental you should begin with ye ol' English speak. An opening like "Greetings old chap. How fare thee?"

Typical conversations might start off something like this:

Quote:

P1: "Salutations good sir, please excuse my intrusion"
P2: "Well hello old chap"
P1: "Might I request a good rimming from you and this lovely night sir?"

Are we supposed to find the mistake in the OP, because there's one in there?

Lol

When attracting a pedant it's important not to use emoticons in your profile. Emoticons scare and confuse them.

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DO try and look like a douchebag as much as possible.

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Oh crap! I thought pedantry meant something else, carry on... I mean continue *shifty*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ignorance77

Are we supposed to find the mistake in the OP, because there's one in there?

Hun im jus mutha fukin tryn 2 giv sum addvice bt karnt b evryfing u wnt mi 2 b </3 im no angle xx

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ignorance77

Are we supposed to find the mistake in the OP, because there's one in there?

Did he mispel douche?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamze

Hun im jus mutha fukin tryn 2 giv sum addvice bt karnt b evryfing u wnt mi 2 b </3 im no angle xx

Siri tranlsates this to;

"Fuck fuck fuckity fuck"

Quote:

Originally Posted by tyson

Sum of these guyz r totes hawt tho.

karnt w8 2 meet dem in rul lyf <3 xxx

I personally just don't want to have to learn a new language everytime I speak to someone new.
It's ok though, if people want to pretend to speak to me in their made up 'version' of English, they'll probably have slim chances of a response.

you are a filthy little degenerate troll, but i do love you so

maybe you should start a thread on pederasty next, i'm sure it would be a little more... inclusive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ignorance77

Are we supposed to find the mistake in the OP, because there's one in there?

I found four.

Quote:

Originally Posted by arc7

you are a filthy little degenerate troll, but i do love you so

maybe you should start a thread on pederasty next, i'm sure it would be a little more... inclusive.

I see what you did there.

If someone uses an emoticon during any form of conversation with me.

That's it.

It's over.

Even an angry face

Punctuation is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Quote:

Glasses - It's a safe bet that homos with glasses will always be picky. Particularly on grammar, be warned.

Aha!!! We gays who wear glasses can multi-task! We can be both fabulously fashionable and overwhelmingly smart, which allows us to be judgmental in our quest for a soul mate

There is a reason why those of us of a refined language tutelage, who speak so elequently, wear glasses so.
It is so we can lower our glasses to the tip of our nose whilst glaring admonishingly, to convey our sense of disheartenment at the lack of nuances today's society possesses.
(Translation: You have been a very naughty boy, now go to school and learn some proper English language skills)

PS - Have I ever mentioned how much I love being a part of your scrumptous social lives and double entendres hehehe

This is a hipster cop out isn't it I can smell it!

i have no idea what's going on over in a certain other thread, but it reminded me of this which seemed appropriate for this thread
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co...verything.html

Quote:

Originally Posted by ammonite

i have no idea what's going on over in a certain other thread, but it reminded me of this which seemed appropriate for this thread
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.co...verything.html

how amazing is she.

she hasn't posted anything since getting her book contract.

she mentioned 'life circumstances' once preventing her from becoming a doctor and a few other things that have made me wonder - do you know if she is unwell or anything?

oh there's a new one! it must have only gone up recently

Quote:

Originally Posted by ammonite

she hasn't posted anything since getting her book contract.

she mentioned 'life circumstances' once preventing her from becoming a doctor and a few other things that have made me wonder - do you know if she is unwell or anything?

other than her usual AwesomeDiscoHappyDancing, no... but i didn't follow her that closely. i just devoured the whole blog in one sitting some time ago.

I went through hyperboleandahalf ages ago. Thanks for reminding me about it.

That being said tho: IM AN EAGLE AND IM TYPING WITH MY TALONS, SO DONT MAKE FUN OF ME CUZ THIS IS HARD

the new one is about depression. maybe that answers my question

how do you get to the fear proof exoskeleton stage?

^yes i want that

Quote:

Originally Posted by ammonite

^yes i want that

Hug

Quote:

Originally Posted by ammonite

how do you get to the fear proof exoskeleton stage?

i guess it's different for everyone.
personally, i hated Jumanji.

but i've found it happen a few times where, like she says, you come out of some dark corner of your toxic headspace and suddenly make some small mistake or action you wouldn't normally take because you aren't thinking like you normally would.

it works out surprisingly well, so you use the same method for your next couple of actions. before you know it, you're doing shit without second-guessing yourself, which basically equates to temporarily living without fear.