my apologies in advance, as i would believe that this question is often asked, and im not very good at explaining things but i really need to vent it, so im gonna try my luck here

im trying to work out 3 things, the first is if im gay, the second is if being a closet is the reason i cant hold a relationship togther and the 3rd wellwhat i should do

im 31 and had 3 serious relationships in my life that lasted more than a year, i wont tell you how many i have been in during that time that havnt lasted longer than a few months, all have been w chicks, i am a guy for the record...

during my 3 relationships, i never thought about being gay or being distracted by men as a reason for my unhappiness in the relationships, in fact i never had a problem performing with a woman..ever.. however over the last 12 months all interest in woman sex and all those great things have diminished pretty much into nothing ...however...i have met a guy that has shown strong signals that hes into me and i feel for him as well quite strongly but im not going to do anything about this, cause he has a gf and i think i need to figure my part out first before i continue.....

i have only had 1 experince w a guy on a beach a very long time ago which was none the less a blur from a bottle of scotch and i never really felt much from it.

i dont think my relationships worked out, cause i dont like commitment, and i do believe im one of the few that doesnt feel a great need for companionship and is very content w my own space and freedom sometimes i feel lonely, but not often.

i havnt been in love for about 5 years ( i have had relationships but felt next to nothing emotionally for the other person) when i was in love last time it was with a girl and was short lived but i l9ok back and i dont feel anything anymore.

when i was 14 through to 17 i was chronicly in love with a guy that i never built up the courage to do anything about and still to this day think about, i never felt that strongly again for anyone,

when im in a reltionship w a girl i dont think about guys at all, when im not ina relationship w a woman i think about guys more

im interested to know if many guys went thorugh most of their life unhappy in hetro relationships only to find great happiness in a same sex relationship afer a while,? how do i know that im not confusing a commitment problem with a sexual orientation problem? or maybe i got issues w both? how does the panel feel about that famous gay that said your either one or the other you cant truely be both? meaning eiher gay or str8

im interested in what the panel may think about my problem and i hand it over to you now for your consideration and critique

regards

IM

Hmm complex, or maybe simple and your over thinking it. Im bi always have been as long as I can remember, but its not 50/50 it ebbs and flows at differenct times of my life. Im attracted to a person not a gender.

I mostly have only had casual sex with guys and relationships with women, them being the nurturers it came easily, I convinced myself that I couldnt have any emotional relationship with a guy for fear that would make me gay instead of bi I think. Of course I was young and confused, I would be proud to be gay too if that were the case, but it simply isnt.

I have a female partner who Im out to but prefer to keep it to ourselves, not that I give a fuck to be honest any more, Im over it after a long long time. Thats strange that you dont think about guys at all when your with a girl, I was never like that, it was always there.

I was never unhappy in my hetro life, prob more frustrated, now Im out and we have established some ground rules Im pretty much where I want to be. Ive also been taking some advise from a shrink who tells me its ok to feel emotions for a guy too, my world wont fall apart

I would say just go with the flow you seem like your up for the journey, guy/chick doesnt matter who you end up with as long as your happy. Just cos its been girls in the past doesnt mean it wont be guys in the future, the ebb and flow of life. Be very careful with the guy with the chick been there done that it ended badly (for me)

I agree get your own shit together first, dont worry mate there are plenty of us like you dont beat yourself up over it, its cool to be bi.

Quote:

Originally Posted by flounder

Hmm complex, or maybe simple and your over thinking it. Im bi always have been as long as I can remember, but its not 50/50 it ebbs and flows at differenct times of my life. Im attracted to a person not a gender.

I mostly have only had casual sex with guys and relationships with women, them being the nurturers it came easily, I convinced myself that I couldnt have any emotional relationship with a guy for fear that would make me gay instead of bi I think. Of course I was young and confused, I would be proud to be gay too if that were the case, but it simply isnt.

I have a female partner who Im out to but prefer to keep it to ourselves, not that I give a fuck to be honest any more, Im over it after a long long time. Thats strange that you dont think about guys at all when your with a girl, I was never like that, it was always there.

I was never unhappy in my hetro life, prob more frustrated, now Im out and we have established some ground rules Im pretty much where I want to be. Ive also been taking some advise from a shrink who tells me its ok to feel emotions for a guy too, my world wont fall apart

I would say just go with the flow you seem like your up for the journey, guy/chick doesnt matter who you end up with as long as your happy. Just cos its been girls in the past doesnt mean it wont be guys in the future, the ebb and flow of life. Be very careful with the guy with the chick been there done that it ended badly (for me)

I agree get your own shit together first, dont worry mate there are plenty of us like you dont beat yourself up over it, its cool to be bi.

Thanks great advice.....i think ill just go with the flow and see what happens, what ever makes u happy i guess..cheers

Good luck Missile keep in touch mate PM if you want to talk further