So I'm 20 and still in closet, never had a relationship. feeling really pathetic right now

when the time and opportunity is right, you'll make the next steps.

I think a lot of people might agree that relationships are a little strange - the harder you look for them, the less likely you are to find them, the harder you push them, the less satisfactory they often turn out.

Maybe some of the other S/S ers can suggest some of the more mixed - gay-str8-bi - bars and clubs that you can go without making a big declaration about what you're into by being there. These can offer a not-so-threatening step into the vastly diverse universe of gayness with the psychological safety-net of being in mixed company.

just cause ur not out doesn't mean u can't socialise in a gay circle, no one has to known what happens wen the sun goes down =). go to a gay bar or club and check out wats there. mr right isn't literally gonna knock on ur door while ur sitting at home. if you want company to hit the bars with let me no, i usually go alone and would love company.

Hi there, I am not fully out, I have told my friends that I am gay, all of them are really supportive. The reason why I am not fully out yet, is because I live in a small town and know a few homophobic people, and they are very threatening to homosexuals, when I go out to the pubs I mix with people, and when the convoo coomes to girls, I say I am gay, and thats how I met another gay person, because of it. If people ask you if you are gay and you are not ready, deny it, but also say "would it matter if I was gay" But cheer up, I have yet to go on a date, If I was in sydney, I would be hitting the gay bars every w/e but I have alot of confidence now lol, so go out to the area and just have a peak if your not that comfortable going out, you can walk into the clubs and walk out again.

Is there any good gay club / bar in Melbourne ?

20 and never had a relationship ?! Wtf! I'm 24 n never had a relationship ... don't even fret

No need to feel pathetic, you should never push yourself into a situation you're not comfortable with or ready for. If you haven't encountered an individual who you're interested in on a genuine level and decided to pursue it, then that is your own prerogative. You must always trust your instincts, sometimes letting yourself go completely isn't the best course of action. Personally, I'd take one step at a time, maybe get to know some people on here or take a friend of yours if you're open to anyone and head to some of the hotspots (The guys here will be able to tell you what they are better than me). You don't have to be overly social there, just get a feel for the atmosphere and go at your own pace. You may meet a friend or two, and that can make all the difference.

Not everyone just jumps into social situations and be the life of the party and is completely comfortable. What is important is that you're doing what feels right to you.

Dude, I'm 30 and have never had a relationship. It's not about timing it's about you and your journey. Gotta be happy with who you are before you can be happy with someone else in your life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sean810215

Is there any good gay club / bar in Melbourne ?

Checkout The Peel in Collingwood =] But don't limit yourself to just gay clubs/bars, you can have a lot of fun at other clubs. 3D and Bubbles in the city are pretty good. I think staying in the closet is something you really have to think about. I don't think I'd be alive today if I didn't come out of the closet. I hated myself and my life every day that I was in the closet. Don't be so hard on yourself either =]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sean810215

So I'm 20 and still in closet, never had a relationship. feeling really pathetic right now

My little brother is the same age as you, we had a chat the other night about being single and having relationships...from someone who has been in a relationship or two and has had my fair share of singledom, enjoy the most of your 20's go out and do the things you want. IF that person comes along go for the ride, if not enjoy the free time you have. If being single has taught me anything it's let me know how much freedom I have.

I hope though you find that special someone when the right times comes

- Adam x

yeh ive been to peel once and its realli good! the ppl r realli nice n friendly. u don't hav to go to gay clubs to breathe the fresh gay air! isn't prahran a gay hotspot?

Quote:

Originally Posted by crosshart

yeh ive been to peel once and its realli good! the ppl r realli nice n friendly. u don't hav to go to gay clubs to breathe the fresh gay air! isn't prahran a gay hotspot?

Peel IS technically a gay club, although recently it has become much more popular with other non-gay people too. Thats why management has secured the right to have a selective door policy - so that punters can know for sure that they are actually IN a gay club AND that they can maintain truth-in-advertising by Offering a 'Gay Club' experience and actually having gay people in it.

Prahran had been the Melbourne Capital of Gaydom, but that was probably around 10 years ago. These days it's definately on the decline if not already completely dead - the distinctive buzz and vibe - not to mention the selection and popularity of venues -has evapourated. It would seem that the most vitality is in the inner north - only downside there is that places there are fairly far apart "destination spots" and lack a pop-in-pop-out as you work your way down the street type of experience.

Quote:

Originally Posted by twoten85

My little brother is the same age as you, we had a chat the other night about being single and having relationships...from someone who has been in a relationship or two and has had my fair share of singledom, enjoy the most of your 20's go out and do the things you want. IF that person comes along go for the ride, if not enjoy the free time you have. If being single has taught me anything it's let me know how much freedom I have.

I hope though you find that special someone when the right times comes

- Adam x

Couldn't agree more!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sean810215

So I'm 20 and still in closet, never had a relationship. feeling really pathetic right now

did you try MH.?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilco

did you try MH.?

what's MH ?

Im kinda new to this gay thing, and its really cute how u guys are so supportive of eachother :-)

For me personally relationships are well and truly over-rated!!!
Enjoy your freedom, who you are and how many people you can fuck.
Like why cage a beautiful bird of paradise when it should be soaring freely through the skies.
All the miserable people I know are half of someone elses whole.

Keep shining!!!
Best
H

Quote:

Originally Posted by ernesto_1

20 and never had a relationship ?! Wtf! I'm 24 n never had a relationship ... don't even fret

Yes but the difference is that Sean probably has a nice personality and doesnt treat people he has never met with disrespect and unsavoury accusations.

Thats probably the difference.

oh shoosh plaza queen~~

Quote:

Originally Posted by sean810215

So I'm 20 and still in closet, never had a relationship. feeling really pathetic right now

It will happen when it happens...20 is nothing you're young