'Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits'


By Pam Ayres



Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,

Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,

Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.



'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.

It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,

And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.



'Cos tits can be such troublesome things

When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.

And although they go well with my Bingo wings,

I wish I'd looked after me tits.



When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,

When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,

When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,

Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.



When I was young I got whistles and hoots,

From the men on the site to the men in the suits,

Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.



When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,

Cruising around with my favourite suitors.

Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,

I wish I'd looked after me tits.



When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,

When they're less in the air and more near the floor,

When people see less of them rather than more,

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.

wow, reading that poem sure takes me back to my childhood, when i used to sneak into the office at home at night to steal mother's copy of Pam Ayres - Thoughts Of A Late Night Knitter... thanks so much for posting this!

No Probs ..... where you ever a late night k-nitter Christian .....

That's fantastic. Should read up on Ms Pam Ayres!

"When I was young I got whistles and hoots,

From the men on the site to the men in the suits"

I can't stop laughing. I know, I'm lame..

ecclipse83 ?? are you manstrating @ the moment ??

My GURLS tell me this can happen !!

Haha i have man-a-pause

awww Darl !! ... Lacking in the Bromance already !! neva Fear ... Just lie about your age on the internet & mantasize ... & don't ya just hate those nasty hot flushes like an onld bottle of Amyl !!

yes to the late nights, no to the knitting.