A friend told me last night that he thinks a r'ship is made up of 90% sex.. no he wasn't kidding.. I laughed at his analysis.. for me I would say it's more around the 10% mark.. am I too low in my assessment? Yes sex can break or make a relationship, but I wouldn't put it that high. I guess he is only 22 and thinks mostly with "that" part of his anatomy.

I guess I look for the following elements in a potential partner (aesthetic qualities aside):

60% friendship (ability to hold a conversation, to have fun, to make me laugh, supportive, loyal, etc..all the things we look for in a friend)
10% sex
10% spontaneity
10% positivity, independent streak
10% plays well with others

I'm assuming results will be skewed for different ages and people in different life circumstances.

what's yours?

I tend to agree with your breakdown robbie - after all sex is great but not the only thing. I mean, orgasms don't send you flowers and they don't hold your hand in a sad movie - it's 80% about the person, 10% about their interaction and yep 10% in the sack.

oh i really like this one! i think actually doing this exercise has made me realise that my expectations are way too high. but f*ck it. why settle?

ok. here goes.

25% cerebral connection - i need a thinker
20% conversationalist - i need a talker
17.5% sense of humour - laughter is the fastest way to sweep me off my feet
17.5% intense sexual attraction - no man is an island
10% loyalty
7.5% darkness / intrigue - there needs to be some sort of darkness in there somewhere, a chunk of themselves that is to be hidden from general view...
2.5% plays well with others

that was REALLY HARD! [this is evident by my use of FRACTIONS. i gave this a lot of thought robbie!]

my god. i think i just described most of my really intense friendships. hmmm...

[pennies dropping all over the place. ]

awesome response Christian.. it took me a while too, I was increasing and decreasing elements all over the shop... and I looked at my friendships also.. I'm 10% away of having the best relationship of my life with my best straight mate..

Mine is somewhat aligned to Robbie and Burgjo's responses.... but looking at my percentages, I think my expectations are up around Christian's levels... Not that there's anything wrong with wanting the best!

I've gotta say:

30% Friendship
15% Patience/Compassion/Understanding
10% Sex
10% Independance
15% Humour and Silliness
20% Fun

I love this topic!

Sure it's 90% sex if you choose to be a slut and aren't serious about wanting anything further - did he mean 'relationship' as in over a night or a week period? Sex is great but only goes so far in a relationship, unless of course you indulge in the entire contents of the gay karma sutra...

For me, it's..

*40% Connection, Conversation, Intelligence, Mutual-Attraction and Friendship
*15% Patience, Understanding
*15% Fun and Sillyness/Sense of Humour
*10% Independance, Fun with others
*10% Sex, Spontaneity
*5% Darkness/Intrigue/Mystery
*5% Confidence

30% charisma
20% strength
10% divinity
15% wisdom
25% sex

:P

I have never thought of relationships like this, it's probably why I'm still single, I noticed that none of you said anything about looks, here goes this is what mine woulda looked like before I had time to think:

10% looks good- we've gotta go out in public lol
20% agrees with all that I say
60% sex of course
5% gets on with my friends,
5% takes care of themselves physically and mentally- who needs a nutcase!

I feel like the most superficial member of this forum!

30% Friendship
20% Understanding/Compassion/Patience
20% Acceptance of traits, friends and family
15% Sex
10% Similar tastes
5% Daringness

Quote:

Originally Posted by princess ree

I have never thought of relationships like this, it's probably why I'm still single, I noticed that none of you said anything about looks, here goes this is what mine woulda looked like before I had time to think:

10% looks good- we've gotta go out in public lol
20% agrees with all that I say
60% sex of course
5% gets on with my friends,
5% takes care of themselves physically and mentally- who needs a nutcase!

I feel like the most superficial member of this forum!

too funny Ree, I did say aesthetics aside in the opener.. :-) It's ok, once we all break through the superificial barrier, this is what we're looking for.. And I agree, no-one needs a nutcase, mental stability is a must!

Well I'll play the devils advocate as I know that red is my colour...

Everyone must place a higher emphasis on sex than they are letting on surely. I understand that its not the fundamental fabric of any relationship, but it is an undeniable force in many. I get the impression that sex is being described in its carnal, primal nature rather than sex that encompasses many aspects in it. I mean, I (in my admittedly limited experience) have been fortunate enough to participate in sex that contained conversation (apart from the compulsory grunts and moans), connection, humour, adventure and love.

That being said I would say that it makes up 40 - 50% of my ideal relationships. After all there is a good 40% of your daily time thats spent in bed... Why not enjoy it eh?

I don't think sex matters so much once the relationship is established, but i think in the formative stages it needs to be good or you're not going to hook up long term anyways.